Does it bother you when people you don't know use your first name?

Question

So yesterday I'm dealing with insurance companies and trying to find out what they will pay and why they haven't shipped a Rx to me yet (it will have been been a month on the 1st).  So I'm a bit frustrated dealing with someone reading from a script instead of answering my actual question.

At the end of it she starts using my first name.  (name changed)  "Well Sarah I hope I answered your questions.  Sarah have a great day".

I was a bit taken aback.  You don't know me.  We are not friends.  You don't know my age bracket.  I would think Mrs Jones would have been the appropriate comment.

That's happened recently at the airlines too when I show them my id.  I get "Have a great flight Sarah".  We are not friends and this process is not a friendly process.  I'm only talking to you in the first place b/c there is a problem that usually involves someone at your organization not doing something right.  Has the courtesy of calling someone by their title been lost?

Does that bother you?

I will add it doesn't bother me in a happy environment.  For example if a store clerk were to say that while ringing me up, but they have always said Mrs Jones.  But in a frustrating situation it seems to me that just that little common sign of respect could go a long way towards escalating or defusing the situation.  Am I completely out of line?

aida · Accepted Answer

To answer your "topic sentence" question first, yes, it grates on me!  It's like being touched by strangers!  Like you, I've most often encountered it on the telephone with corporate "representatives," such as computer helpline people and hotel reservation clerks . I think that some of them see it as a way of getting the upper hand (which may work with some people, but they might be surprised how few), and others actually think they're being friendly.  Sometimes I think they're even instructed by their supervisors to call clients by their first names.  (What a mistake!)   I've occasionally asked them not to call me by my first name (though I feel rather mean when I do), and one or two actually replied that that was what they were supposed to do!

Was it really that long ago that most parents taught their children to call all adults Mr., Mrs, or Miss?   Would you like to start a movement to revice the practice?

Anonymous · Answer

These people HAVE to use your name.  It's a job requirement.  A lot of those phone calls are taped so the supervisors can listen to them and make sure the employee is saying what they're supposed to say.  Same with airlines, they have to say it.  They think people like it and it will keep them coming back.

msmag · Answer

I happen to agree with you. People just assume everyone likes to be addresses by there first name. That's not proper to address anyone unless you ask permission to do so. I do get a feeling this will not change unless we both speak up and correct them.

? · Answer

well, Phantom, welcome to the personal yet impersonal world we all know and have to live in.   

Perhaps you should consider correcting them by saying "Call me Mrs. Jones please".   Ms. may feel too impersonal to the person you're talking to and unless you introduce yourself as Mrs. Sarah Jones, no one is able to know if you are married or not.

? · Answer

i kinda agree with you...i am 39, so..that being said mayb makes a difference.....if i were younger..i probably wouldnt care...being a bit older i guess makes a difference as to how i am addressed in different circumstances...

Anonymous · Answer

I agree !! 

I myself prefer to be referred to as "Your Excellency" by total strangers !! 

Being called by your first name by someone you don`t know is just plain disrespectful !!

JoJo · Answer

No, you are honestly acting like a child right now. They are just trying to be polite.

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Does it bother you when people you don't know use your first name?

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