Youngest son has been hiding his black gf from my husband and i and were skeptical, husband is wanting to...?

.It's more disturbing to me that they've been together since he was 12...that's far too young for dating.

Regardless, your husband has to accept his son will be a legal adult on his next birthday and alienating the kid isn't a good idea. The boy needs to live his life as he chooses, and if that includes dating (and/or marrying and having kids with) a woman of a different race or ethnicity, so be it. Your husband sounds like a racist azz in this regard and I think you and the boy need to stand your ground on the issue. If ol' hubby sees he's the only one out there on his little racist island, he might change his views (or at least tolerate the situation, if not accept it).

I'm white and my lover is black. I'd give just about anything for he and I to have a serious, romantic relationship and we've talked that some members of both his family and mine would NOT be happy about the situation (due to the race difference) but as much as I love my family, I won't allow them to dictate whom I can befriend or love. He's a GREAT guy...I won't discount him solely due to his skin color, nor can I respect anyone who would. ☺♥☻

Best wishes to your son and his girlfriend...and my your husband become enlightened soon. ☼

It's pretty obvious as to why your son hid her from your husband and you. He hid her from you because even though you don't seem racist, you wouldn't keep secrets from your husband. He hid her from your husband because he is racist. How could you marry such an ***hole. If your husband really loved you and your son he would put his own personal opinions aside and support your son. If they have been together that long they obviously love eachother. You should tell your husband that if he would leave you over your sons relationship with the girl then your marriage must already be hanging by a thread. And if your husband can't see that she makes him happy then he musn't care for you son either. If he wants the best for his son, then the best is it make sure his son is happy and has a fulfilling life, whether with a black, white, asian etc, shouldn't even matter.

Your husband is a Bigot, plain and simple..There's no way you could have been with him this long and not known this. Your son was right to keep it a secret and if you keep pushing him now that he's 18 he will be out of your lives permanently and you won't see him or your half breed grandkids as he calls them. make a choice your husband and his 1930's thinking or your child and an open loving home and mind. it's 2010 for christs sake, get with the times. The fact that you know your husband feels this way and you still said your son hiding his g/f makes you skeptical just says you may be a bit racist too.

Let your husband leave you. Support your son all the way. If your husband was a real man then he wouldn't be thinking like that. Your son is more important than your husband. Let your son know that you support him all the way and that its okay to date his gf. If you choose your husband over your son then your going to lose a lot. Do the right thing sweety and stand by your son. I was kinda in the same situation but my mom got over all of it and accepted it. It took time.

Race, Religion, and Global Warming. These are subjects that are non-negotiable and persuasion efforts are futile. If you can put up with your husband's racism, then good for you. If he can put up with your openmindedness, then good for him. It's not going to be easy for Jr., or you but dad is the one with the problem. Are you willing to leave him over it? No. You're not. You've know he's a racist the entire time you've been together and you need him. Your son might leave, though. Nothing you can do. It is out of your hands. Support your son, stay married to the racist and do the best you can to mediate. There is no real, practical solution to your problem.

Your husband is racist. You've got to face the facts, but as a mother your child comes FIRST. When he came into the world, he became your sole priority. He now needs you more than ever. He is happy with her and love knows no skin color,race, or creed. It is highly doubtful that he will change since he threatened you with him leaving if you supported your son. So do us all a favor and leave him. You and your son deserve better.

That is gross and ignorant of your husband, and if you back him up, you run the risk of alienating your son (even if he and his girlfriend eventually split up). You also may be taking yourself out of the running to be an involved grandmother when your son does have children. If you ever say anything negative about this girlfriend, and they wind up together (and especially if they have kids together) it will come back and haunt you, guaranteed.

Your husband is manipulating you when he threatens to leave you if you don't do what he wants or if you disagree with him. If you cave and support him (and I can tell you know that's the wrong thing to do), it will just reinforce his belief that you can be bullied into submission. Stand up for yourself and for sure let your son know that whomever he is with, you support him.

If they have been in a relationship for that long at that young of an age, then something is working for them. I love my son too much to risk losing him. I would be disappointed that he did not tell us sooner but he could date whoever he wants.

some guys are just hard heading so it hard to get through to them..

So think calmly when you talk to your husband, tell him I know how you feel about our son dating her i feel the same way but if you keep pushing his away i'm afraid he wont want to speak to us. It's not like he's marrying the girl.. if we keep pushing then he will give us grand children that your not going to be happy with.

Thats just an idea .. But try and talk to your husband and tell him that you love him and you want to be on the same page together, that you don't want it to be as if you are fighting about how your sons love life is in play, but let him know how you feel and ask him how he is feeling and if he gets angry its always better to just not say anything and just let him fluster about it or things just get out of hand.

I hope you and your husband can work it out!

your asking why he hid her ? well im sure you and your son know your husband is a racist **** so yeah answer that yourself. its your son , and if your ok with it then still support him, would you rather lose your son or your husband ? i know what i'd do. oh and tell your husband to grow up, the worlds changing, interracial relationships are on the increase, the presidant is mixed race this isnt the 50's nomore its 2010!!!!!!!!!