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I need help...idk what to do?

Alright well my ex girlfriend and i broke up in december. She was my first girlfriend and i was a complete d!&k to her after the break up. She forgave me for that and we became so close after it. For 4 months we became so close, closer than when we were going out. But one day in late april she tells me that she has been raped. Never being in this situation before i didn't know what to say. I didn't want to believe her and all i said was wow continuously. She thought i was laughing when i really wasn't. I know she expected more from me, and i feel so bad, that when ever i see her i cannot help but cry. She hates me now and she has every right to, but i really want to fix this. I really want to gain her trust back, but i do not know how to do it. She means the world to me and i don't want to lose her. I really need help...

1 Answer

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    I married a women who was raped. I've seen a lot of issues in a lot of girls but none that seem to affect them as much as being raped. Especially if she's a sensitive girl. Every girl is different, and every girl has different level of trust issues, but no matter who she is being raped messes with that ability to trust. She opened up that part of her that is probably deeply hurt, and she FELT laughed at. Whether or not you did, that is the reality of how she feels. You need to find away to communicate that you care, without making her feel stupid for thinking you laughed at her/invalidating her emotions. Being raped can take away a women's ability to feel value and self-worth.If this is where she's at, she doesn't need to hear how you didn't laugh at her. That will just make her feel like the feelings are valid. Instead she needs to understand how you would never meant to hurt her. And you're sorry you did something that communicated that you didn't care, but that was never your intention.

    If you do get her to allow you back in, be very sensitive to her in this area. When my wife and I got together i couldn't touch her without being reminded how she was raped. So again... be sensitive.

    If I was in your position i would write to her. Let her know exactly how you feel and how sorry you are she got hurt. That hurting her when she was exposing herself to you was not your intention... but instead you only care for her and love her. Talk about how you would love to be there for her, and how much you miss her.

    Source(s): Been there!!! Good luck!
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