My boyfriend broke up with me, help please I feel like dying :( He said he did it for our future?

Question

I have been with my boyfriend for a year and a half, hes 18 and Im 17 (nearly 18).  We lost our virginity to eachother and everything and he is the first boy I have ever loved.  I would lay down and die for him, I love him so much.  I don't care if you think I am too young to be in love, my mum was my age when she met my dad and they are still together and shes now 42.

To cut a long story short on sunday I went to his house.  He kept cuddling me and kissing me and smelling me and generally acting strange.  I asked why and he said he would tell me later, and that he had my late valentines card to give to me, but I would probably want to rip it up later.  I thought he was acting really weird but he was being so loving.  We slept together and everything, and he kept cuddling me and smelling my hair, saying how I was the perfect girl for him and not to ever forget that.

Eventually I managed to persuade him to tell me what he wanted to say but he hid under the duvet and couldn't say it.  If you saw him, hes 6'1, athletic and into the whole hip-hop thing, so its not like hes soft or anything but he has adhd and wa stuttering and couldn't say what he wanted.  Eventually he said "I think..we should break up."

It didn't sink in at first, and the first thing I could say was "why?".  My boyfriend, or ex as he is now, is quite poor and he lives in a shared house, and only has one bedroom which he shares with his 16 year old brother. He had a difficult upbringing and relies on his dad for money.  His reason for breaking up with me was that he needed to get his life back on track.  He said that he loves me so much and wants me in his future, but the other day he ran out of food and his brother was hungry so he gave him everything in the cupboard, yet his brother was still starving, and it made him think that he can't do this any longer.  He said that he needs to start training for football again, as he wants to make it as a professional, he needs to find a job, he needs to start running 20 miles a day and he wants to rent a house to near where I live so we can be together.

I understand his reasons but I don't understand why he cannot have a girlfriend at this time.  The thought of him seeing anyone else makes me sick. We were both crying our eyes out and he was holding on to me and wouldn't let go.

I've bombarded him with calls and texts, which I know I shouldn't have as he says he needs space.  I saw him two days ago to give back his clothes that I had (he told me to keep them I just wanted an excuse for seeing him), and he ended up kissing me, and even though I told him to stop as it wasn't fair he said he couldn't help it, and we kissed and one thing led to another and eventually we slept together.  It felt like we hadn't even broken up.  He dedicated the song "So Nice" by DK Ironik to me, and it started playing on his xbox as his playlist was on shuffle and we both started crying again.

He told me that he loves me and doesn't want any other girl.  He said I'm beautiful and that I'm perfect for him and hes going to miss me so much but its just a temporary thing until he sorts out his life for him and his brother.  He said he wanted to marry me and build our own house together with two dogs.

Since I have been home I havn't been to college.  I just feel like dying.  Every morning I wake up crying knowing that hes not mine any more.  Last night I tried calling him like 20 times, he sent me a text saying "a bit busy atm, text me later x", but even though I have texted and texted he hasn't replied.  He has free texts so thats not an excuse. He's been on facebook on his phone so I'm pretty sure that hes blanking me.  I feel so hurt right now, I love him so much, and I just want to talk to him.  I know I shouldn't have slept with him but at the time it felt so right.  Please help me, what do I do?

I can't live without him.

back_werdz · Accepted Answer

I understand his reasons and motivations for wanting space but he should want u to be by his side if he truly loves you.  My honest opinion is that he found someone else.  He couldn't tell u because it would hurt u and he does love u as I can tell.  True love can conquer anything.  So if he loved u that much he would stay with u thru thick and thin.  No matter what.  I believe his other girl is who really texted u back.  

I hope everything works out for the best but TRUST ME. I been there. Wanna kill myself. Hurt. Crying. Feel like life is over.  Then u get over it, move on, find someone else and are happy again.

? · Answer

Ok, don't feel like he's blanking you. This sounds like it's hurting him as much as you, so by distancing himself from you a little he's distancing himself from the pain, and also if he started talking to you like normal, i think you guys would probably end up getting back together and then be back at square one. The only thing you can really do is wait it out, he may not be your 'boyfriend' but by the sound of it he is still yours and you're still his and that is never going to change. Give it maybe even two weeks and he may have started to straighten things out again and be able to have you back in his life.

I know how hard this must be for you, but hang in there. Accept what's happening and it should go a lot lot quicker. You'll get a happy ending out of this. Try not to dwell on what's happening at the moment but think about the great future you guys have ahead of you to share. :)

Anonymous · Answer

I'm sorry your going through this.
I sympathize for you. It's a struggle to make it through every day i know!
Really sit and think, maybe write out, how you feel. Really try to look at yourself and what you want to be, and who you want to be with in your future.
And decide.
Should i allow this man who i love to play with my heart like this?
If he truly loved me would he be doing this to me?
I honestly don't know what questions to ask yourself. Thats up to you.
Find a quite place where no one can bother you, leave your cell phone and computer at home.
And just think about everything.
Maybe he's right.
Maybe you should move on, no matter how hard it may be.
AFter thinking talk to your friends and especially your parents.
Love is a beautiful emotion. It will find you again i promise!
Don't be afraid of losing something that meant a lot to you. 
When you figure out the right decision, it may not seem right at first, but go with what your heart and mind tell you to do.
And i pray that one day you will look back and realize you made the right decision.
Smile everyday until the day you die. 
It took me 30 minuets to write this, i deleted it a few times, i hope it helps.
I'm sorry if its long and rambling. 
But this has really made me think too about everything in my life. 
So even if your going to be upset for a week or month or year.
Just remember you made someone out their think about their own life in a positive way.

-x-Little-miss-Eva-x- · Answer

Okay. 

You can live without him. 

It's hard. Believe me it's not easy but you will eventually get over him. 

When my boyfriend broke up with me it was hard too. I was having the worst year of my life. My granddad had just died and i was dealing with depression and to be honest he only made it worse. 

I've gotten over my granddad's death, the depression and him. 

I think my ex boyfriend is a bit of a wanker and to be honest we don't like each other. I don't know what i saw in him. There were friends to get me through this and i still have them to this day. 

If he's blanking you just ignore him and speak to a couple of friends about it all. Also, recommended, eat some Ben and Jerry's ice cream and find a random new hobby that you enjoy to take your mind of him. 

It's not easy but with the right friends you'll get through it. :)

Hope i helped (somehow) :)
Evaa

Leslie S · Answer

oh honey. I'm so sorry for that inconvenience you two are going through. I'm sure that your boyfriend feels the same way you do. You should feel happy for him, because hes getting his life on track, which will help for your future together. He still loves you, and is most likely doing this for you! I myself am also going through some dating issues. My boyfriend broke up with me because he says he is falling for someone else. that 'someone else' just happens to be one of my best friends. I love him so much, and he wants to be the dreaded "just friends" (ya right). Anyway, i know how you feel, and your story has touched me. I hope you and your lover will join together happily. If you need any more advice, you can find me on my website. It's all about relationship help, and dealing with depression after a breakup; 

http://www.datinghelp.com

best of luck(:

lanimar3417 · Answer

You are too young to say you can't live without him. Besides what you are feeling is just a feeling. And you are the only one feeling it. You can change it. Its like you are too much for this guy. Men don't like being smothered too much. Most guys say said nice things if they wants sex. Its their nature. If you have given him that, then I am sorry. Maybe you should use your head (no offense meant) than your heart. If he wants you he will give you his full time. What you felt right at the time you slept with him its lust. And he knows that. He likes that. Give yourself some importance girl.

Regen 752 · Answer

He clearly loves you alot and you can be confident that he won't do anything to hurt you apart from your recent breaking up. Intimate relationships can usually be made when a individual is stable enough to sustain it, It seems your lover needs as much of his time and attention on getting back on his feet, and looking after his younger brother aswell. Try not to smother him despite how hard it can be and how hurt you must feel, It was clearly hard for him to do so. Just let time pass by, and soon you'll be back in his arms again as a couple.

Maximo · Answer

This Site Might Help You.

RE:
My boyfriend broke up with me, help please I feel like dying :( He said he did it for our future?
I have been with my boyfriend for a year and a half, hes 18 and Im 17 (nearly 18).  We lost our virginity to eachother and everything and he is the first boy I have ever loved.  I would lay down and die for him, I love him so much.  I don&#39;t care if you think I am too young to be in love, my mum...

Stanley · Answer

Hey, Elle.  You have to move on.  I know you're hurting.  I understand.  But the pain you're feeling now is not going to last forever.  And eventually you're going to fall in love with another guy.

Anonymous · Answer

I think u need to let him go as much as it hurts and move on.I think he wants to explore his options and I don't mean just with his life.Ur both young and should see other ppl and if both of u still  r thinking about each other when with other ppl than u should get back together.I think he wants to see other girls and live a little.Let him and u live a little too,and if u guys get back together eventually it was meant to be,if u don't move on.

Trending News

My boyfriend broke up with me, help please I feel like dying :( He said he did it for our future?

13 Answers