how to ask relatives for money?

Sorry, there is no polite way to do what you want to do.

No invitation, no gift is generally correct. And even if you invite them it is still rude to expect a gift and even more rude to say, "No thanks, I'll take cash."

You said you're "definitely" going on the trip. Good for you! It's a nice graduation present to yourself. Just don't expect other people to pay for it.

P.S. It's a little silly to spend your money on a trip instead of your education, don't you think? Which is more important?

are u going by yourself? lol... i say have the grad party and go on the trip afterwords like in the summer. Just work get a job and save up money for the trip. OR use the grad money for ur trip. U will need it for college though so i dont see why ur spending it on a trip ... thats the point of grad money..

anyways good luck =)

No matter what the occasion is, it is not polite to ask for gifts, and even less polite to specify on the invitation what kind of gift you would like.

You can send out graduation announcements and hope that your relatives will send you a gift. And you can hope even harder that they will send you cash, or at least call your mom and ask what you'd like (and she can say, well, she's going on a trip, so extra cash would be really helpful).

I generally do not give cash as a graduation present; I give something appropriate to the next phase of their life. For my nephew, since he intended to go to technical school to become an electrician, I bought a special tool that an electrician friend of mine said was really helpful. My niece and my boyfriend's daughter were heading off to college, so I bought each of them a gift card for the college bookstore.

i think you should listen to your mom. while i can relate why grad part doesn't feel that important to you now, later in life you will realize that it was important after all and you might regret not having one. in the long run, it's a celebration for the fact that you have completed an important chapter in your life and are ready to start a new one in college.

the fact that your grad was celebrated will subconsciously serve as a kind of confirmation that people were there for you throughout high school and appreciated your journey. in the short run, it is also kind of your fundraising event for college. what you need to realize is that people don't just send you money for the sake of doing you a favor or paying some kind of obligation. they envelope money for you as a token of appreciation for having included them in this special celebration. if you have no celebration to make them a part of, then you have no right to expect money from them.

i come from indonesia and feel the same way about wedding receptions here. unlike american weddings, receptions here are very lavish and rather impersonal... the bride & groom and both sets of parents sit at some kind of a throne on stage and hundreds (sometimes thousands) of people line up to shake hands with them, many of them people you don't know very well (because they are your parents' colleagues, extended family you haven't seen in 20 years, or your spouse's friend's new girlfriend or whatever). then people help themselves to an assortment of fancy dishes a la standing party, and you don't get to talk to your own friends because you're busy greeting and taking pictures with all the guests.

when i was your age, i always told myself i'll never have an indonesian wedding. i wanted a private wedding that i only shared with close friends and family, something "special" and "personal"... a little bit like you wanting to celebrate your graduation with a trip instead of a party. however, as i came to appreciate my culture more, i realised that my wedding isn't all about me... it's supposed to be the perfect opportunity to acknowledge all the people who have become part of my and my husband's bachelor lives, whether directly or indirectly, and let them bless our new chapter as husband and wife. instead of despising having to wear the heavy makeup and difficult indonesian bride's dress, renting that expensive ballroom--thrones, flowers, fancy foods and all, and perhaps not being able to have extended chats with my bestest friends because i'll be busy with other guests, i've learnt to accept that that is the expected way to honor the people who have loved and supported me through this chapter of my life.

and one more thing... the financial gifts given at that wedding will be where i'll get the money for putting furniture in my new home. i can't just tell my friends and relatives that they can't come to my wedding because we're getting married in italy and heading off straight to our honeymoon in the mediterranean islands, and say "sorry you can't come along; after all, this is our special celebration. but we need money to furnish our house, can you just send your checks in?"

not inviting our circles to the wedding... or in your case, not inviting people to your grad party, would imply that you have no appreciation for the people who have been there for you throughout your studies. it would imply that they're only worth the couple hundred bucks they'll donate to your college funds. nobody in their right mind wants to be treated that way, and you should be ashamed for even thinking about it.

so anyway, please have your party. you deserve it, and several decades from now you will look back and be glad that you had it. going on a trip doesn't mean that you can't have a grad party too; it's just like having a honeymoon right after the wedding. cherish the people who have been there for you in your life, and they too, in turn, will be generous in continuing their support and love for you. when your heart is right, the money will come, and sometimes it comes from the most unexpected sources.

You have money for the trip, but need money for college. That's funny.

Use your trip money for college.

Gratuities will be eternally appreciated.

Sorry it's the best I can do, for you.