Everyone can probably relate to this...?

Try not to hate her.

Your BF might rant and rave about her, and she might get on every nerve, but he (probably) still loves her and just needs to vent to you. If you start to actively hate her he may feel torn between the two of you and no good can come from that.

Your best bet (in my opinion) is just to ignore her and stay patient. If you're planning to stay long term with your BF you'll have to learn to live with the aggravation because it does not sound like she'll be changing anytime soon.

Oh yes, yes. I haven't experienced a relationship related thing, but trans-related stuff definitely. The only thing that worked for me was to sit down with myself and figure out a loose script of how I wanted the conversation to go, and to figure out everything that I wanted talked about.

For example, my old roommates when I first came out were old school allies who hadn't updated themselves on queer politics since the 70s. We were talking once about something, and one of them made a joke about how there should be a 'girls only' sign on the door. A few days later, I finally asked her something...I think it was, "Is it okay to disregard people's identities?" or "Is it okay to insult people?" I believe I came up with something more awesome than that, but I can't remember what it was. We had a nice conversation, and while I know neither of them really got any of the issues that were going on between us, they at least changed the language and stopped making stupid questions/statements.

There was also a non-trans related thing that I had to deal with about dirty dishes. I had left one about, the more up-tight roommate mentioned it to me. I and the non-uptight roommate did this sometimes. I said that the uptight one should let me know if I did that and then I would pick it up. She said, in a sing song kind of voice, that I wanted other people to pick them up and wash them. So I replied that obviously I was lazy and used people like tools as much as I could, which isn't the case. She realized how foolish what she had said was, and apologized. But we still had more problems like that after.

In general, people who don't respect will either learn to respect in time after conversation, or will only learn to be civil. I haven't had anyone totally blow up on me, but that can happen to. At any rate, things should improve at least marginally if you control the conversation and make her feel the ridiculousness of how she talks to you. Self-imposed shame is the best tool you have in this case.

My aunt, who I absolutely adore, once asked me not to post that I was bisexual on Facebook... because "in a few years Lucas (her 2-year-old son) will be able to read it and I don't want him asking questions" or "learning about sex from his cousin." After this she asked me if I can be monogamous. I mean I know she wouldn't have deliberately said these things to **** me off but it frustrates me that she clearly understands so little about what it actually means to be bisexual.

My boyfriend would like to add that he can also identify with that because my mom and him reallllly don't get along, though the reasons have to do with their personalities being completely opposite in every way, not because of anything to do with sex or orientation. He says, "If you're really attached to your morals there's really nothing you can do until you get away from her, but if you don't give a s*** about morals and would do anything to get pleasure" (his words not mine) "you could always lie to her."

i cant stand my bf's mother.. she actually told me she wanted me to die than be with her son.. but hes kinda pulled away from her on his own & knows i havent done anything to "egg" her on & it makes me the better person... ive done more for him when he needed someone than she ever did & he even sees that my mother treats him more like a son & adult than his own mother! so i know how u feel bout his mother being a huge b*tch... but mine was fortunate enough to see that she is... & i just ignore her.. it pisses me off but i dont show that or discuss to anyone other than my bf & my mother... it makes u a better person.. ive been with & living together with my bf for 2yrs & this b*tch still tries to cause problems & tells him im using him & to leave me.. f*ck her... in the end its how he feels & he knows me a h*ll of a lot more than she does

i never had this but push her off a bridge, or anything