Advice or tips on caregiving for a family member with cancer?

Oh, boy, is this ever stressful! I did the same thing with my grandmother when I was your age, and now I'm doing it with my parents. It wasn't easy then, and it's not easy now. Caregiving absolutely saps your energy, and moreso with grandparents because you know they're not going to get any younger or fitter. I just wrote a post on my blog about the stress of caregiving (check the link below) that might give you some perspective.

And here's something you can try this week: leave the kids at home with a couple chores to do and take your grandfather for a drive. Go anywhere. Just drive around town, or out of town, or to a coffee shop. A change of scenery can be extremely uplifting!

Mostly, may God bless you tenfold for doing what you're doing!

Hi. I'm really sorry all this is landing in your lap. But please remember that caregivers need care, too. In fact, support groups have sprung up for caregivers of those with Alzheimers, because this type of ongoing care sucks the life out of someone. And the same applies in your situation. In fact, yours is much worse, because you're also running a household and looking for a job. I honestly don't think you realize how much is being asked of you. You say you feel drained - well, most people would have completely crashed and burned by now! So at least give yourself a pat on the back for achieving the impossible.

Bottom line: You absolutely need help. So one thing I'd consider is suggesting to grandpa that he get a home nurse in (not an RN, just a LPN or nursing student, etc) at least 2-3 days a week. You need breaks built in, and not just for an hour or 2. And don't ask this as a favor to you - tell him it has to be done.

I also think the twins are plenty old enough to have jobs around the house. I had chores starting at age 10! So work with grandpa to come up with a list, and then it's grandpa's job to sit them down and explain this needs to be done. They can clean the kitchen and vacuum, do the bathrooms, etc.

Don't feel guilty asking for any of this, because no human could keep going the way you are, and you won't be any help to your grandma if you simply collapse. I also think she wouldn't want you having to go through all this.

Based upon your remarks, you are doing quite a lot to help already. Assisting with household chores and looking after your younger cousins is a big help. By taking on such day-to-day tasks, you are freeing up your grandparents to address the medical issue.

Feeling exhausted in routine for most adults who are juggling multiple responsibilities. Try to get enough sleep every day and stay optimistic.

Best wishes that your grandmother has a good long term outcome.

you need to give yourself some ``me time`` as hard as it may seem. Even taking a walk in a park and sitting on a bench for half an hour. 25 yrs old is still young to have so much resting on your shoulders. I helped take care of my mother in law when she was dying of cancer when i was 21,again last year when my grandmother was dying in bed at home from cancer, so i feel your pain. With so much going on in your life, theres no doubt that you will feel tired. If you feel like you need someone to talk to, someone who has been there, let me know, its always nice to have someone to talk to, it will help. Sometimes you just have to have a good cry to feel a bit better. Dont think of the cancer,think of when she was in better health, think of all the good times you had with each other,remind her of that

If your niece has terminal stomach cancer I assume she hasnt got long left, if I were you I would go over there and take her to your house when the mother is not there, then go to the cops and tell them what your sister is doing and tell them for the childs safety and because she is so ill you have taken her to your house to take care of her. Social services should be able to apply for an emergency order for you to keep the child in your care until a date can be set for a permanent custody hearing, they can usually get that the next day or same day in some circumstances. This child does not deserve to live her last days like this and I would get her asap if I were you. You wont get in trouble, just go get her and then go to the cops and tell them.