Scottish football World Cup Rules & Regulations ?

Question

Dear Wife /

1. Between 11 June and 11 July 2010, you should read the sports section of the newspaper so that you are aware what is going on in regard to the World of Soccer, and that way you will be able to join in the conversations. If you fail to do this, then you will be looked at in a bad way, or you will be totally ignored. DO NOT complain about not receiving my attention. 


2. During the World Cup, the television is mine, at all times, without any exceptions. If you even take a glimpse of the remote control, you will lose an eye.


3. If you have to pass in front of the TV during a game, I don’t mind, as long as you do it crawling on the floor without distracting me. 


4. During the games I will be blind, deaf and mute, unless I require a refill of my drink or something to eat. You are out of your mind if you expect me to listen to you, open the door, answer the telephone, or pick up the baby that just fell on the floor…. It won’t happen. 


5. It would be a good idea for you to keep at least 2 six packs in the fridge at all times, as well as plenty of things to nibble on (excluding your body parts), and please do not make any funny faces to my friends when they come over to watch the games. In return, you will be allowed to use the TV between 12am and 6am, unless they replay a good game that I missed during the day. 


6. Please, please please!!! If you see me upset because one of my teams is losing, DO NOT say “get over it, it’s only a game”, or “don’t worry, they’ll win next time”. If you say these things, you will only make me angrier and I will love you less. Remember, you will never ever know more about football than me and your so called “words of encouragement” will only lead to a break up or divorce. 


7. You are welcome to sit with me to watch one game and you can talk to me during halftime but only when the commercials are on, and only if the half time score is pleasing me. In addition, please note I am saying “one” game; hence do not use the World Cup as a nice cheesy excuse to “spend time together”. 


8. The replays of the goals are very important. I don’t care if I have seen them or I haven’t seen them, I want to see them again, MANY TIMES! 


9. Tell your friends NOT to have any babies, or any other child related parties or gatherings that requires my attendance because: 
a) I will not go,
b) I will not go, and
c) I will not go.



10. But, if a friend of mine invites us to his house on a Sunday to watch a game, we will be there in flash. 


11. The daily World Cup highlights show on TV every night is just as important as the games themselves. Do not even think about saying “but you have already seen this….why don’t you change the channel to something we can all watch?” because the reply will be, “Refer to Rule #2 of the list”. 


12. And finally, please save your expressions such as “Thank God the World Cup is only every 4 years”. I am immune to these words, because before and after this comes the Champions League, SPL, English Premier League, Italian League, Spanish League, KPL, FA cup, Euro Cup, etc… 

PS By the way,if you are out in the car and break down call the police or roadside assistance.

Thank you for your cooperation.

smeg head · Accepted Answer

very good eddie

Anonymous · Answer

hmmmm..... probably the USA, because, apart from england, they have the most players in their squad that i've heard of (howard, beasley, edu and altidore- i know.... get me lol), i would've supported france (not quite as much as a scotsman in a kilt but frenchman are pretty fit) but they couldnt keep their hands to themselves (i was actually rooting for the rep of ireland after scotland were out grr it's been a bad campaign) so it's USA or italy like last year or brazil like the time before that but really..... A.B.E and i'll be happy lol =D bonus q- levein has impressed me more than i thought he would, he knows the right team, has given players a fresh start (we need boyd etc in the side and are too thin and bare without him), he got the win against the czech rep and has been much more promising than burley. with the addition of promising youngsters (thomson-hearts, wilson- rangers, cairney- hull, etc) coming through the ranks, showing quality and improving older players in the push for places, we can only improve on what has been a dismal few years for the side and hopefully qualify for euro and beyond.... ahh now i'm dreamin =)

BumFace · Answer

You single then?
My wife loves football, well I say 'loves football' but she is a Rangers fan so it's a contradiction in terms.
We watch all competitions together though.
Get yourself a new wife for The World Cup.

Anonymous · Answer

Just as well I like football coz if my man posted that up in our house he would lose all marital privileges forever.

Michael joshua · Answer

sorry why is this in the scottish football section when you mention the world cup ?

Anonymous · Answer

or if ur a wife or girlfriend who has a husband/boyfriend/whatever who is under the thumb..tell hubby/bf/w/e to get the telly over to watch emmerdale/corrie or easties and go watch wc on the wee telly in the kitchen and while in there make cheese toasties or else....
u a husband under the thumb eddie? hope she bops u with a thingy pin

Anonymous · Answer

Point taken,
copied and pasted to wall.

Anonymous · Answer

were you get a hod o my marriage vows lol

dive · Answer

i see you found my wee black book dont phone any the burds ive told them i lost it so your onto plums lol

Tamson · Answer

I will use that in our house .

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Scottish football World Cup Rules & Regulations ?

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