Another poem? Another poem? A poem nevertheless? Comments?

How it must grieve the Holy Spirit

what man has done

to His gift to us.

There will be much grieving by many in the days to come, I fear.

Thank you for this write.

I hate to tell you this, but that was honestly the worst poem I've ever read. There was no direction whatsoever, and I was actually disgusted at your lack of pride in your own writing! I was going to attempt to discover some sort of direction in your writing, something that I could stem off of and write a little bit for you, but I can't uncover absolutely ANYTHING!! I must say, I don't think you have a chance on being entered if you use this poem, the only way would be if your teacher is on cocaine. I strongly welcome you with open arms to look at the questions I personally have asked, because I have asked about a few of my poems. I also strongly reccomend you either e-mail/IM-ing me, so that I may help you write a contest winning poem. I hope to hear from you! <3andrea

Your salted tears mingle with mine;

I long for days of sunlit beach trips.

Even the minnows belly up in a line

bring a quiver to my lips.

I had a notion that the earth's ocean

would be where the secrets were hidden.

Now I can see no depths in the sea

the images come to me, unbidden

of a shy octopus cowering in a tank,

seals and walrus' no longer playing,

instead they circle a ship that sank

glad that the drowned ones are staying.

Sometime soon, a ship on the moon

will depart out dead earth for another.

The prophecies of doom linger and loom;

Bless you in your sorrow, my Brother.

How about adding more emphasis with the ending line like this: Salted oil pours from my eyes? Overall though, a good write.

Should I just not comment when I have nothing to say or would you rather I just acknowledge I have read a piece and not gotten anything from it?

I gather this is about the oil in the gulf?

The sea pours from my eyes...

black, thick and greasy

I cannot breath

Sea water pours from my eyes...

The sun with me

we mourn its death

The sea pours from my eyes...

Amen

If only tears could cleanse the sea...we all would cry buckets...collectively :' ' '(

But you are right, we can only wring our hands...watching helplessly.

Or, pray for The Saviour _()_

say salty tears. salt water pouring from your eyes is not poetic.

Oil fills my gills

blobs weigh me down

help clean the crude.... before

we all drown