Custody Question; What would you do?

I am so sorry about what happened to you but this was coming sooner or later. I see that long time ago. I remember when he left you at home and he was out on the regular basis, and you were pregnant with the little one. I could never figure out what was wrong because you are a young,beautiful, fantastic mom and very talented, makes fantastic cakes! I enjoyed reading your blog and I miss, kinda being your part of life since you stopped writing:)

My opinion is go and talk to a family lawyer about what is the best solution for you and the children. If I were you I would fight for the children and take them where you are safe. And safety is not here. Frankly, I don't think he would be able to take care of the children. He wasn't on your side when you were heavily pregnant with a toddler.

I wish you the best and please, keep blogging!

He's obviously unfit to be a parent. I would go to court and ask for supervised visitation rights for the father. This way the kids will be supervised with the kids, which will be less likely he will be emotionally/mentally abusing them. I would fight to remove the children from USA now. I live in Canada and I know I would never want to live in the USA. Tell the father that if he really wants to be around the kids, he'll have to move up to Canada. That's why it's so very hard to get involved and have kids with a man that isn't from your corner. Explain to him that you can not do it alone and you really have to go back to Canada.

Good luck :)

Usually the courts don't revisit a decision for two years regarding custody, visitation, support, etc, so if you decide to stay in the US and agree to visitation and custody, be prepared to live with that decision for the next two years. After that two year period, you can go back to court and still end up with shared custody and living in the US. The way the courts will look at it is you were able to support yourself for the last two years in the US, so what reason would you have to leave.

If their father is emotionally and mentally abusive, the sooner you separate your children from him the better. If you can prove to the courts that he is a danger to his children, they may keep him from seeing them at all or they may rule that he can only have supervised visits.

Fight to remove the children from the USA now...you wont have a smaller chance of winning...I don't know who told you that but it is not true. Agree to standard visitation rights for parents that live in separate states...you better have a good reason for wanting to home to Canada...like better prospects of obtaining a job in your career field or better chance of obtaining training to begin a career, help from family, etc....He does not have to agree to it, but in the end the judge will make the choice...I am positive you can find issue to use as a bargaining tool.

As for the emotional/mental abuse...don't engage in conversation with the guy. Don't listen to what he has to say...as for your kids...unless you can prove he is verbally abusive to them, you are spitting into the wind...you can bring it up in court or in negotiations