questioning my sexual orientation?

I am assuming you are male. You pose many issues in your write-up. However, your pressing question regards your sexual orientation. You begin by stating you are starting to question your own sexual orientation. Being unattractive and angry have no connection to your orientation, as I am sure you would agree. Past issues of sexual abuse (in any form) have no bearing upon your sexual orientation. The type of males to which you are attracted have nothing to do with your sexual orientation--nor does your religion, what other people say, nor your desire to wear make-up or how you wear your hair. But you seem to answer your own question within all that you wrote as you described attractions to males at various ages. I would highly recommend you seek counseling, as you describe some personal issues which seem to cause you discomfort at the very least. So, maybe the question is not whether you are gay. Maybe the broader issue is how to become comfortable in your own skin, how to get to a place where you are happy with yourself, confident, and possess a healthy level of esteem toward yourself. Work on your "insides" (your personal struggles), and your "outsides" (the way you present yourself, the way you view yourself) will take care of themselves. I hope that helps, and I wish you much happiness and courage.

Although identical twins share the same DNA, not everything is exact. Take height for example, an identical twin may grow to be a little taller than the other. Perhaps this is possible with the gene for sexual orientation? This is pretty long, but may help support you're answer.. "Identical twins look so much alike because they share the same genetic material – DNA. Yet, if you look closely, you will see differences, in height, or in the number of freckles, etc. To answer why, let’s compare identical twins to apple pies made from the same recipe. When you take the pies out of the stove, each pie will turn out a little different even though they have exactly the same ingredients. Differences in the environment make it impossible for each apple pie to be exactly the same – perhaps the stove was a little hotter while one was cooking, or they were removed from the oven at different times, etc. So identical twins are like two pies made from the same recipe. They are more similar than they are different, yet they will always have some physical differences due to differences in their environment. You may have heard the phrase “nature vs. nurture” before, but what exactly does it mean? Two things are responsible for making us who we are: Nature and Nurture. Our genes (nature) are important, but they are not the whole story. Our environment (nurture) also plays a big role. By environment we mean things like what we eat, how much we sleep, whether get sick and when illness occurs. These are things that happen during our life that also have an impact on who we are and what we look like. Some identical twins can have different heights and weights. This is because height and weight are not only controlled by our DNA, but also by what we eat, illness and other environmental factors. And differences in diet can start before twins are even born! When the twins are growing inside the uterus, there can be differences in how well they connect to the placenta. This can mean one twin starts getting more to eat even before they take their first breath. Another physical difference between identical twins is their fingerprints. The fingerprints of identical twins do look more similar than the fingerprints of non-twins. But they are not exactly the same. They have differences that a fingerprint expert can use to tell them apart. This is because environmental differences like how the hand of the fetus touches the amniotic sac also affect fingerprints. So now we know why identical twins can be different heights. This means height can’t be controlled by genes alone, because identical twins have the same genes. Therefore, height must be part nature and part nurture. On the other hand, identical twins almost always have the same eye color. So eye color must be mostly nature. Many things seem to be controlled by a little of both. This means no matter how similar two people’s DNA is, each will always be unique. "

As a surviver of abuse and someone who grew up in many foster homes and such, it really sounds like the last thing you need right now is a relationship. You are angry and P*issed off! you need some deep intense therapy. You can get it for free or at low cost if you just call around, use your yellow pages, google it, etc. Because onlly after you start to feel better are you going to be a good partner to whomever you want to be with. Violence is no way to live.

You need to speak to a professional counselor. This is not an option with your history and you have put it off far too long. The trauma that you have suffered is affecting every decision you make, whether you know it or not. You need clarity and peace so you can make these important moves in your life and find a happy relationship, with either gender.

Please check your local listings for a counselor or a women's abuse network. It will help sort all of this out for you.

thing is if people question themselves about if they are gay it confuses them more.. you should know if your gay/bisexual.. it's not hard.. if you would go out with a male and a female and find both attractive then your bisexual if your only attracted to men you are gay .. if your just attracted to just females then you are straight.

If you're exclusively sexually attracted to men, you're gay.