my friend is so confusing!?

so over the past few months, my best friend and I have gotten really close. Well as friends. And recently he has been saying some sexual stuff about having sex with each other. but when i say i want to lose my virginity to a women first, he goes off and says no way its not happening. Im feel like im a bi-sexual or just bi-curious. but i really want to open that up to him but im scared. I love to crossdress, and i want to show him, but im scared what he will say. and if he doesn't find anything wrong with it, how can i show him my affection toward him. Like I dont want to have a long term romantic relationship, just someone who i can have a little fun with. I really really really want to suck his dick. From what I've heard, its pretty big. But I dont want to open to him, and then lose a friend over it. But im almost to the point where i cant help myself. I want to have sex with him SO BAD that its starting to hurt.

What do i do?!?!!