I sent a beautiful homemade afghan to my granddaughter to take away to college, it was a graduation gift.?

I'm afraid nothing. They are refusing contact with you and she most probably doesn't realise that a thank you letter is in order.

I suggest that you write to your granddaughter and ask if she got the present (as she may not have received it - hence the lack of communication).

I would also ask other family members (if there are some) and ask if they know what's going on. If they don't or there are none, can you visit your son and ask him direct?

If not, then I'm afraid that there is nothing you can do.

I wish you luck.

KD

First off I'd separate the beautiful afghan gift situation from the main problem; the estrangement of your son and family.

I would NOT try to drag the grand-daughter directly into this mess under the guise of needing/wanting/expecting a thank you for the gift. Leave her out of it, she is caught in the middle now and will contact you when and if she feels it is in her best interest to do so.

It is somewhat unbelievable that you don't have a clue why they are upset with you. Sometimes people finally take a stand and drop certain family members from their lives permanently when they become a complete liability. I think you would know WHY this came about, and if it has been months, it certainly has nothing to do with the afghan.

If you owe an apology, then send one to your son. If you don't, then perhaps sit back and wait, send a Christmas card this year, and see if you get an answer. But move slowly, don't besiege the house or you might make the situation worse.

This is the 21st Century. Family often doesn't mean what it did 100 years ago, and parents do not have the control over children that they traditionally did. You may have to understand this, and eat some crow if you want them back in your life, as they seem content without you and your husband.

There must be other people in the overall family (including the family of your daughter-in-law) that can shed some light on your dilemma. I would start with the ones you consider to be most knowledgeable and whom you have some relationship with. Mutual friends would be another avenue worth exploring. You can also try again to reconnect with your son but I wouldn't use a letter for that. A telephone call would be much better. It might seem that you have failed in one way or another so your immediate goal should be to uncover that reason, hence the recommended extended family contacts. I'm guessing your son is an only child and that doesn't help. Unfortunately, the ultimate problem might not be related to anything you did but rather a run of bad luck in his immediate family and his perceived failure at meeting your expectations. There is one glimmer of hope, admittedly slight, and that is that the afghan wasn't returned. So enlist those who are necessary to provide you with enough information to allow you to engage in the repair of your broken relationship. Although I feel your situation is much more complicated than you describe your problem is not unsolvable. Good luck.

People act strange for lots of different reasons.

There may be nothing you can do about it. Maybe you

could try and contact your granddaughter directly.

If you have no other relatives that they are in contact with to ask then just go over and ask them what is wrong yourselves.

Think, really hard. What was the last contact that you had with them?

It's probably something your husband did or you're in denial about how your behavior towards them is viewed.

Sorry if your feeling are hurt but if you can't face the truth about the situation then better leave it alone.

You could give her a worried call and ask if she received it, hinting that since you have heard nothing whatsoever from her that you assumed it had gotten lost. Perhaps that will embarrass her into at least mumbling "Thanks".