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what should i do? what should i be thinking?

I have a Fiancée.

Before we were engaged or being together, I tried to find out who/what/how she really is.

Instead of asking other people around, I asked straight to her about her past, ever had boyfriends and stuff. I want to show her that I Trust her, Believe only her words.

She said she had only one boyfriend and they never even touched each other. okay. its fine with me.

One week before we were engaged, she told me that she had total of 4 ex-boyfriends in the past 5 years, between them nothing happened with them so that was why she didn't tell me. she said it wasn't important to us and there was no sex, just some mouth to mouth kisses. a few of them asked for sex but she denied because she wanted to keep her virginity for her husband.

She said she didn't care about them at all and she was bored that's why she got into many relationship, (i didn't buy that because if you do not have any feelings to someone, you wont say yes, agree?)

what makes me angry was why she didn't tell me when i asked her. I know that she loves me and all but also felt she lied to me. Before that she said she never even had kiss someone before and now she had done that with three different guys. I don't know what else they have done. I don't know what else she had hiding me.

Can i trust her about her being a virgin? to be honest, I didn't even ask for sex, saving it til we are married. This is how much I love her.

But if she is a virgin, why did she has so many boyfriends in the past, that is not include how many guys she had dated. They will ask for sex sooner or later, one way or another weather she wants it or not. Girls can easily fall for that from kissing so long.

A few weeks ago, I checked her email, 90% of the contacts are males(over 200 of them) and they have chatted for hours in the past 5 years. i do not know any of them but they were doing nothing but flirting. Later she deleted all that and never contact them again.

I now have a lot of doubts. Yes she loves me.

Should I care about her past? But that's who she is right? People are hard to be changed.

I know it is not healthy if I keep thinking as negative but what should I do?

3 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    I'd tell her the truth about how you feel, tell her you're having minor doubts and see what she say's.. She probably already knows something is up, I know when I had doubts around my Fiance he knew right off the bat something was wrong.. We're broken up now, due to me.. but I know how it is to not trust people..It won't get any better til you get that out in the open & she re-assures you that she has changed.

  • 1 decade ago

    if you truely don't trust her then she shouldn't be your fiance. Because i don't see how it can work out if you are creepin up her email. You gotta trust her and if you dont, then youre probably just another sexless boyfriend to her.

  • 1 decade ago

    Don't waver about the past, the thing that matters is that she is now with YOU.

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