Horoscopes: Do you believe in being tactful or being blunt?

I try very hard to be tactful in the way I talk. And I don't have to lie either. One can be honest and tactful. That's the true essence of tact - being truthful but pleasant at the same time so that people don't walk away unnecessarily unhappy or angry. Not that I've mastered it by any means, but I do try. When I get angry or riled up about something I can be terribly blunt and sometimes this has worked for me, but usually it just works in hurting other people's feelings and making them feel bad about themselves or bad towards me. It doesn't usually make people think about what is bothering me or what is bothering them and what to do to improve the situation, it just makes them react defensively. Certain psychological studies have shown that the more strong views we face the more likely we are to take the opposing side, as we are more likely to notice the flaws in the opposition's argument and use that against them. It's our nature to be like that in ways, and being tactful is one way of getting around that.

Sometimes I also think being blunt is an excuse to throw our opinions around as if they're gospel. A racist can go around 'being blunt and honest' and saying that certain races are degenerates and should be destroyed, but really they're just displaying their ignorance. Not always is this the case, sometimes blunt honesty can do the trick in the right circumstances, but sometimes it's just very egocentric and selfish. Being 'honest' doesn't mean one is right.

Tact is where it's at, for me. I think we can get more from ourselves and more from others that way in most scenarios. It's also more of a challenge.. we're naturally blunt as children because our ego is what we know best, but as we grow I feel we need to learn to better cooperate with those around us.

Pisces Sun, Gemini Moon, Aquarius Mercury

Depends who I am talking to. If I know someone is a very sensitive person who gets hurt easily with blunt and mean things, I have to try to add a bit of tact into the blunt truth. If I know someone who is completely ok with hearing the real truth, then I will tell the truth as it is with no sugar coating. Usually, I am more tactful with my close friends and significant other because I don't want to hurt them, unless they get me angry. With family, I can be blunt. In a debate, I will usually just be completely blunt as long as feelings are not involved. As for me, I would prefer someone to have a little respect for my feelings while they tell me the mean truth. But, I am fine with hearing the real truth because I do like people to be straight to the point with me, it will just hurt me a bit but I know how to soak it in.

In my opinion, being blunt with a little tactfulness is the best way to put out a point, meaning if you want to put out a negative point, there should be something positive along with it to lighten up the truth. Some people will mistaken a blunt person as being mean instead of being truthful. And being too tactful makes people not take the truth seriously because they have not felt the intensity of the real truth.

I am blunt. I could be tactful, but rarely, i am very honest with my opinions and i say what i think. That is why i always get into trouble at school, because i would stand up for what i believe in and would say exactly what i think on a certain subject even if my teachers don't agree with me, so they kinda hate me lol

But i also know that tactful people are the ones who survive in this world. Our world is full of lies!!

I could be tactful as in, i know how to put my words in a way that wouldn't offend or hurt anyone, but i don't lie. I just know how to present myself well.....

And also i don't mind bluntness at all, i appreciate it. I personally prefer the blunt ugly truth over sweet lies.

It actually depends on my mood and the type of people I deal with. If it's with someone I like or if I'm in a friendly/cheering people up mood, I prefer to be tactful. I am also tactful with people who I know are sensitive and can't handle critisms very well.

However, if it's with people who I can careless about or if I'm in a grumpy mood, I can be quite blunt. I am also blunt with people who prefer the hard cold truth. I have a lot of close friends who doesn't like it when someone sugar coats things, and so I'm quite blunt with them. I know that they won't be upset if I do tell them the truth. I'm also completely blunt with my family members.

In real life, I'm tactful 80% of the time and blunt 20% of the time.

If I'm in a debate, I tend to be tactful... because if I am too blunt, I might slip a word or two that my opponent might be able to use against me then or later. If I'm tactful, I can just simply attack them without them realizing it...and then win the debate. Most of the time, this works.

EDIT: Oh...

Umm... If that's the case then personally I would prefer the other person to be blunt. I would like them to be tactful...but I probably won't get the hint until a very long time later, because I'm very slow. On the other hand, I'll get the message immediately when someone just tells me straight off bluntly. In a debate, it's hard to not get off on somebody's bad side...and mostly, it's better if the other person gets the message...and the only way for me to get the message, clearly, is for the other person to tell me bluntly.

I use both, in the debate process, as needed... It's best, under most circumstances and to grab the attention of those listening or possibly even judging, to start off in a tactful manner, but as things begin to heat up and you near that peak in the debate, switching back and forth between bluntness and being tactful? Can be very effective in gaining you the edge as you pass over the crest, especially if you are on the side of the actual truth pertaining to whatever issue being debated.. Let me put this in another light... I really dislike conflict.... But if i solely decide to get involved? I don't lose.... Hence the reason why i try, like he11, to avoid it through every ethical and moral avenue and measure possible..

Patience, listening to your opponent(s) as they speak and/or rebut, and keeping a cool head, even when it looks grim, is the most essential part of the process.

I hate WAR..

I'm disgustingly blunt, and it can cause issues when I'm getting my point across with more sensitive people. However, people also tend to respect my opinions more because they know I am being truthful and not telling white lies to get ahead. To be tactful is to be a liar. To be blunt is to be rude. I choose rude over liar any day.

No idea what my Sun, Moon and Mercury are. I'm an Aries born on March 23rd, 1990. You can figure it out if you'd like to know.

It depends who I am dealing with if I am blunt, or sugar coat it. there are some people that you almost have to hit in head to get a message across. I don't like hurting someones feelings so I try to say things in a nice way. Inside I might be so upset I really want to lash out. Famous last words-Paybacks are hell!

I think go for the option that is acting in the best interest of the person.

If a friend asks you if she looks bad in an outfit and she does. I wouldn't say "yeh your a$$ looks huge" i'd say "i like the other dress better" and therefore, being tackful.

but i don't like to streight out lie.

i hate lieing so much.

my family tells me i tend to think before i speak.. and i dont mean to do this.. but with my family, i feel they know i love them and truely want the best for them and so i will give them the truth because i expect, nothing short of the truth, for myself.

But i don't want harsh crisicism either. Because everything is perspective. Just a plain example, say if you found someoen un appealing and you told them,, it could make them really down and depressed, and whose to say they arn't appealing to others anyway? so no point in voicing that invalid subjective opinion.

when it comes to my feelings i try to be honest. But i am more likely to voice a compliment and i never want those i love to feel bad about themselves.

i hope that made some kind of sense.

long day, mind blank

I say start of being tactful. Honesty can be give through tact too. If things get heated and then resort to careless bluntness.

Let's not be biased in our asking this question because it seems like you're down sizing the true meaning of tact and leaning more towards favoring bluntness. If you like bluntness then fine, but don't take the dirty politics route and twist the true meaning of what tact is just to make it look worthless. Like Sparrowbird said, you can be tactful while still being honest. Being excessively blunt and making it seem like tact means nothing is just an excuse for most pr*cks to be rude. But if that's them, the so be it. It's just not noble to sit and make it seem that bluntness is the only route to go.

I think there's a time and place but more importantly levels. If an argument or debate gets heated, then yeah it's only natural for the common person to get much more brash in their speech. But like I said there's a time in place. I think INITIAL interactions should be tactful. The word "tact" hold NO connection towards words like "sugar coating" or "not being completely" honest. Again, a person can be tactful while still keeping it real.

And if someone was trying to tell me something, it would depend on what they were trying to tell me that would determine if whether being blunt or tactful was more appropriate. If a random person walked up to me and tactfully express how they think I would look better with a certain hairstyle then I wouldn't be super pissed. But if a random jack*ss bluntly got in my face and said I look like a retarded moron for having that hairstyle then rest assure they're pushing a serious *ss whoopin. If a person was in severe trouble and needed urgent help, then yeah, being blunt would be a great way to speed up the help process. It just depends on situations. Trust me. Most people that are super blunt in every sec of every day usually don't go to far in life because they pissed off too many people along the way to make it to greater places.

Tact worked for Gandhi, Martin Luther King, Abe Lincoln and so many great people.

edit: ☆Ļė Şрhĩņx☆, with all do respect, that's beyond the point. Blunt people get assassinated too so we're in a catch 22 trying to go down that route or make implications on which has the worse consequences . Murder is always going to be around whether you're tactful OR blunt. My point of listing those tactful people is that they achieved greatness while maintaining tact.

edit: ☆Ļė Şрhĩņx☆ wow. *claps hands* a smart *ss. I haven't got into a little rant on here in a while but fine if you wanna be that way. Oh spare me with the grammar error card. 1) It's called a typo nit p*cking nancy. Look at the bigger picture. 2) I don't give a crap what you could "care less" about. If you're gonna voice you're "opinoin" based on a statement I made, then rest assure I'm gonna voice mine if I feel you're making one sided implications. 3) I didn't say your point wasn't' a good point because it is. All I'm saying is that statement can be taken out of context and make some people get the impression that only tactful people get assassinated and that is not true.

So thank you for you're rebuttal and taking offense to my statement "your highness". It wasn't meant to offend you but since you wanna be a p*ss about it then oh well. (Now tell me what else I spelled wrong oh royal Libra like a give a crap).

edit: Sorry Navyblue. I read your question over and it didn't seem like you were being biased. So I apologize. I hate when people make assumptions on my questions so I try to make sure I don't do it on anyone else. Guess I slipped a bit. Again I'm sorry. It's pretty late where I'm at and I should probably catch some z's before I continue to act out of character. We all have a off moments and me making that condescending assumption was one of them. Again, I'm sorry.

edit: ☆Ļė Şрhĩņx☆ You answered back the first time when I said something so that contradicts you're weak "I have a life" line. And frankly, the "I have a life" **** is old and you impress no one by saying it because everyone on this f*ckin site says that sh*t to sound cool. If you have a life than live it and don't try to convince people of it. It's used by EVERY user on this site I'm sure. You can say you got a life all you want. You just say that because you're the fool in this case so the "I have a life" line is a weak cop out. If I have a dime for every high petal stool lame that tried to act like they have such a wonderful life on this f*ckin site I'd e rich. If you have such a life and are so above this then 1) DON'T comment on what I say, and 2) DON'T edit back if your so above people ms. "i have a life."