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Cala
Lv 7
Cala asked in Family & RelationshipsFriends · 1 decade ago

Need advice re gifts from a friend!?

How do I stop my friend from buying me the most awful gifts? She tends to spend quite a lot of money (that she really can't afford) on things that I absolutely hate! We have vastly different tastes. When her birthday comes around I go to the shops that I know she likes and buy her stuff from there. But when she buys for me she buys the stuff that she likes. I don't like her spending so much on me, as I know they don't have a lot of spare cash, and would be much happier with a book or something small. She has already bought me a candelabra, a huge wooden cat, a large display of fake flowers, a clock with flowers at each number, gothic jewellery, etc and it's embarrassing when she comes round and the stuff isn't there on display - but I really can't stand the stuff! I don't want to hurt her feelings as she is a very generous person, so how do I stop her buying things that I don't want. I've known her all my life, so she knows what my taste is like, but I still keep getting these awful things that I don't want and that I know she has had to scrimp to pay for.

The main problem is that she tends to buy ornaments etc and so she will obviously expect to see them when she calls round. I have about 30 years worth of these things sat in the attic! But she's so kind and generous that I really need to tread carefully.

She often calls round so it's not as if I can just get a few things out when she's coming - I don't always know when she's coming.

I'm grateful to have a friend like her - I don't want to hurt her feelings by not having all these things on display, but I really can't live with them! My lounge is cream and green, so why did she buy me 4 hairy, lilac cushions with little crystals on them? What do I do with them without hurting her?

Update:

Jay - I've known her all my life. She knows what my tastes are but she says my taste is boring, so she buys me what she likes! We've shopped together hundreds of times, but she just can't seem to bring herself to buy anything that she doesn't like!

Update 2:

Thanks for the answers, but I have already asked her (several times) not to spend so much money on me. She's such a kind & generous person, but the fact that I don't have many of her gifts on display must be obvious to her and I really don't want her to be offended.

4 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    If you have known her for years then surely you can tell her to stop buying things. Suggest that the both of you buy a small gift from the likes of World Vision that will go to help children abroad. You can buy a mosquito net for £6 and this will be sent abroad and will save a child's life.

  • Anonymous
    5 years ago

    OMG i'm in the right situation as you. No humorous tale ! I even have been thinking a similar ingredient. as long as I even have popular her she has been airborne dirt and dust low-priced while it got here to doing something for me (aka my wedding ceremony present from her became a $10 image physique from the greenback keep) yet she spends lavishly on herself. call type outfits, 2 gymnasium memberships, new motor vehicle, new abode which they're renovating, spa cures. Then she didnt even come to my wedding ceremony because of the fact she became disenchanted i became getting married in the previous her. Her excuse became that she couldnt go away her dogs for 0.5 an afternoon. She has been my "superb buddy" for 17 years. i exploit that component era gently now as i'm in the technique of re-comparing our friendship and in spite of if that's well worth it. the girls making plans the stagette have been given truly disenchanted at me as quickly as I mentioned I wouldnt spend over $one hundred on the bride for that evening. They mentioned i became low-priced and not a stable buddy etc. So I kinda caved and mentioned i might do $one hundred fifty yet not extra because we dont have countless money. (hubby is at school, I make little or no money blah blah) anyhow, after discussing it with my husband, we desperate that we are going to spend around $50 - $one hundred (finding on how lots I finally end up spending on the stagette) Which i think of is truthfully actual looking. entirely because of the actuality that in spite of if she has been a piss damaging buddy while it comprises money with me, she is my buddy regardless because of the fact I chosen it to be so. hence i'm stepping as much as the plate and being a extra useful buddy. the way i glance at it - i opt to be her buddy understanding how she is, hence that's my duty to act like a chum.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Maybe she doesn't know you that well. Show her around town and show her things that you like. When you see something you do like then just say, "Wow that looks great!" or "That looks like something I can use!" and I guarantee she'll get hooked on what you'll say.

  • 1 decade ago

    aww.... tell her not to spend so much on you. tell her you worry. tell her that she has bought so much and wasted so money on you. tell her that she shouldn't. tell her that a small present is already so much to you. so tell her that. you guys both care a lot to each other.

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