I am a 56 yo woman who has been divorced for ten years.?

Question

I date on and off, and recently met someone who is very nice, but has quite a few health problems. He was in a car accident and needs another operation because his back is so bad. To help the pain he is on heavy drugs and can't go without them. He is 55 y.o. Anyway, at night to sleep he needs a few drinks to fall asleep. He has a great job, works every day but gets depressed because of the pain. He has an appointment to see what else can be done for his back. OK. My question is this: Should I get involved with him with these health issues? I'm at a loss what to do. He has other minor health problems, too. I know it sounds shallow - I just need some advice. Thanks so much!

Update:

Thank you so much for all your answers! Each answer made me stop and think what I would be getting into. Thank you!!

Ross · Accepted Answer

I wouldn't recommend it. Trust your instincts on this one. Be his friend, yes. I was in your situation two years ago and I regret getting into a romantic relationship with a man similar to the one you describe. We were both in our 40's and he took vicodin, morphine, klonopin and drank very heavily. The relationship was very volatile. He was in a constant state of anger and depression and it was horrible. Get out while you still have your head. I wish you luck.

ღ†Rocker Wife†ღ · Answer

Health problems are one thing, I wouldn't necessarily let that sway me.  But the drinking and heavy drugs... that's a deal breaker for me.  I don't want to be involved with someone full-time who is inebriated all the time.  There are alternative ways to manage pain without having to get drunk or load up on heavy drugs all the time.  That's the part of this equation that I find unsettling.

Good luck.

Anonymous · Answer

It's not shallow that you want someone to be beside you for a long time!

Just remember that when you love someone enough, their illnesses come with the package. Through sickness and in health.

michelle r · Answer

if you've only just met him recently, then you dont have to get into such a serious relationship so quickly with him.

drinking w/ heavy meds.  major health issues.  instead of jumping into a committed relationshp, you might want to take it slow and easy.  still continue casual dating with other men.  do you need to get into a serious relationship this early on?

Heben · Answer

It's one thing to grow old with someone as they get health problems.  Honey you don't need to ruin your life to take care of a stranger. Run like HELL !

Kat365 · Answer

That is totally your call..... But his health issues would scare me a bit..  pain medication, drinking hmmmm  surgery

Anonymous · Answer

I truthfully cannot see a reason why you would want to get yourself into this situation.  Chronic pain coupled with depression and a drug and drink issue does not sound very inviting to me. Personally, I would move away from that complication.

Anonymous · Answer

I hope you don't get health problems (which can happen to anyone at any time) . Get the point?

Anonymous · Answer

If you don't, it says a lot about you...

? · Answer

only you know

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I am a 56 yo woman who has been divorced for ten years.?

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