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Should I feel guilty asking my working husband for help?
My husband is SSGT in the USAF. He works from 7am-4pm Mon-Fri. I am a stay-at-home mom that takes care of our beautiful 9 month old daughter. During the work week I take care of keeping the house clean and kept as well as taking care of our baby day and NIGHT. I am the only one who wakes up in the middle of the night since he works the next day. We have agreed that on the weekends if she wakes up at night that he takes care of her and that he wakes with her in the mornings to provide me some sleep. He also does the laundry and sometimes cooks on the weekend. My question is, Should I feel guilty for letting him do these things? He never gets to sleep in but he gets a full nights rest with out being woken up. Should it be the other way around? Should I be letting him sleep in and do the laundry since he works all week?
6 Answers
- PearlLv 71 decade agoFavorite Answer
As long as you are both happy with the arrangement, dont worry about what others think, all couples have to reach their own compromises. Why should you feel guilty, just because you stay at home it doesnt follow that you should be an unpaid slave and he should never lift a finger. I have worked full-time, and part-time and been a SAHM for brief intervals, I can tell you that no paid employment I had was as demanding and tiring as staying at home with small children.
Source(s): Mother of 3, accountant. - 1 decade ago
The key answer to your question is using your own words, "We agreed that on weekends if she wakes up at night....." If he's not complaining about it, then why should you feel guilty? If you feel that way, though, tell him you're gonna let him sleep in every other weekend, if he wants, or something like that. He may just love the time he spends with his baby, alone, while you are sleeping in.
- ?Lv 41 decade ago
NO! I don't think you should feel guilty,it takes 2 people to raise a child,and even though he works he needs to know how it is to get up late at night and feed a baby,you do it on the days that he work,so just like he gets lunch breaks, on the weekend that's your lunch break.However,ask him if he ok with the situation as it is ,but I am sure he will say its fine, cause men will complain when they don't have things the way they think it should be.
- Anonymous1 decade ago
why not let him get up at night with her on weekends and you take the morning shift saturday so he can sleep in then let him have the saturday night shift and sunday morning so you can sleep in . the laundry why not take turns with that also, i must say he sounds like a wonderful husband and dad to help out like he does let him know how much you appreciate it and him. never take him for granted hes one in a billion
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- AlvieLv 71 decade ago
Marriage works best when both spouses try to outdo each other in their favors for each other. If you go out of your way to make him more comfortable and happy, then hopefully he will do something in return to make you more happy too. And then both of you will end up more happy as a result.
It's always better to do something extra in marriage to promote love, than to take the chance of not doing enough.
- 1 decade ago
On the surface I would say you should not feel guilty. But have you talked to him? How does he feel about the arrangement? He may be feeling guilty on the other side. Let's face it communication is the key.
Raising children is not a one sided responsibility.
