My husband is a workaholic?

Question

He runs his own business. He runs a lodge and takes people fishing/hunting. He works CONSTANTLY. He is up and out the door by 5am, and often times he doesn't come home until 10 or 11pm. This is 7 days a week. No he doesn't even take Sundays off.  He doesn't help with our 5 month old baby AT ALL or do ANY housework. (He hasn't even changed 1 diaper). I work part time outside the home as well as a nurse. I feel that putting time and effort into our family and marriage is impossible. We don't have many friends because he has no time for them. It is very frustrating. What can I do? To run his business and for it to be sucessful it requires a lot of work, I understand that. But it has gone too far. We don't own nice things...there is too much money stuck into the business right now. He doesn't go to church anymore because he has things to do on Sunday. He rarely comes to family events, especially events for my side of the family. 
How long do I live like this? I don't believe in divorce, but I feel like my chance of having a happy, normal marriage and family is impossible. There is no love in a marriage when there is no time spent together. I feel like he will never change.

Ellie · Answer

Men seem to feel that success in a marriage is how well they provide. Your husband will miss out on some wonderful years with his child let alone you. You need to sit him down and tell him how you feel, let him know that you know he is trying to be a good provider but it is not always about money, you need your husband as well. He has to figure out a way to balance his family life with his business life. You need to find out as well why he does not want to be home. I use to be a workaholic and it was a symptom of not wanting to be home because I was not in love with the man I was married to, it was an escape for me. You need to find out what they symptom is to this madness. I am sure he can hire someone to help out. or you say you work par time you could offer to help him a few hours a week so you can spend time with him.

LittleMsHelpfl · Answer

I suggest you both sit down(he must make time for that) and decide a schedule which will include time for family- a compromise, and importantly time for intimacy. If the business is going to get big, and there's much investment I can see putting much into it, but this has gone too far in my opinion. It's a no-brainer, the marriage will fail if he keeps neglecting your needs.
Voice your concerns and tell him you are hoping to raise your child together as a family unit, but you will do what you need to be happy if he isn't willing to. That may make him think.
Good luck

. · Answer

It's hard, isn't it?

The best advice I can give is to be very thankful that he has this business--he's just trying to keep it afloat in this bad economy.  So many people have lost their small businesses.  Perhaps he could invest in an assistant to help him out every once in a while?

I can count about 6-7 very close friends who had husbands who worked very hard to provide for their families--just like your husband does--who have lost their jobs.  Be thankful he's working!

Anonymous · Answer

You live like this for the rest of your life. I mean, why not be happy? He has a job he loves, and he's working hard to be a good husband and provide for you - demonstrating his love in a clear and unmistakable way. This is a situation many people would dearly love to be in! The only problem is that you seem to be clingy / needy / selfish. Relax, all is well.

Anonymous · Answer

Tell him to get his top priorties straight. He made the time to get you pregnant.

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My husband is a workaholic?

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