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What do you think of this poem?

I do not consider myself, by any great lengths, a poet, but I do dabble in poetry. I recently edited this piece and would like some honest opinions on it. Advice on how to improve would be much appreciated as well. Thanks. :]

Cryptomnesia

I sit here in the sound garden, dividing joy between the muses.

I've been counting crows again;

And I will burn every last one with this arcade fire.

This steady diet of iron and wine

gave birth to cold war kids with bright eyes and radio heads.

After a blur of ten years, eleven fingers, and

one-hundred-and-eighty-two blinks,

I have faith no more in these stone age queens

who sit as tall as lions in their silver chairs;

not with gin blossoms like that sprouting up along the neutral milk hotel.

I suppose the dead are grateful for the flowers,

but there is no doubt my thirteen senses scramble for acceptance.

Stones will roll along with these talking heads.

More power to the cats who survive three dog nights

and all those indigo girls who don't fall for cheap tricks.

There is a fire inside these wolves from the sea,

but there is no air supply left for their aqualung nirvana.

These roots will always be rusted.

7 Answers

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  • ?
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    So COOL! I love it! All the music references, so clever. I'm an eighties girl myself, I caught it right from counting crows. LOVE IT!!!

    Awesome title too. Okay, now I'm gushing :)

  • smit
    Lv 4
    5 years ago

    For me a poem has to have rhythm. It would not unavoidably could desire to rhyme in spite of the incontrovertible fact that it needs to hit my thoughts. i think of readability of expression is important besides. i don't desire to 2nd guess what i'm analyzing approximately. I continually seek for what I term "poetic gem stones"in the text textile.

  • 1 decade ago

    I see potential.

    I always admire the poets, that can think of things to write without making them rhyme.

    Even though I prefer rhyming poems XD....they are easier to follow.

    but I've never been much for poetry, and whether its just because im stupid....i dont know, but I couldnt understand what you were trying to say >.<

  • ?
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    Good golly, Miss Molly!

    One hell of a garden you have yourself there.

    You just blew me away with your cryptonalites

    But my roots are not rusted yet.

    Source(s): I know this is true because I am not a redhead and I've yet to still find me a good hairdresser.
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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    It's very bootiful. Like a flying pancake. =]

    Source(s): The Soaring Waffle
  • ?
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    psychedelic in a way.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    It's about heroin, right?

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