Which is more important, Love or Respect? Both? Or Neither?

What is selfless, the brain cannot calculate. The mind (whole head including the body) can sense a great deal more about the world than the thinking brain can abstract into thought. Thus: any calculation by the brain concerning living things will mearly produce a corrupt answer; in contrast, any calculation by the brain concerning technical tasks with limited variables, the thinking brain is well suited. Try making a cup of tea without it!

Whilst the mind is occupied by the activities of the thinking brain, its attention is deflected from any holistic awareness. When the mind is "aware", the brain does not know it, as it is not functioning to record it.

For instance: If you have experienced a flight or fight response (in which the brain stops thinking during imminent danger to allow instant reaction) the brain only interprets such a feeling "after the event" when thought comes back online to analyze the aftermath. The same is true if you meet a girl and feel great lust: time seems mutated, and the memory of such a feeling is never the equal to the event.

The word love "in its ancient origins" (see below aka lufu) implies desire: mental bias towards (aka "care"), all of which is rational commitment based upon limited information (thus in point of fact knowing one is in love is irrationally-rational or rationally-irrational).

What we are talking about with the word love is not the feelings that happens when 2 bodies interact and feel attracted, but the consequences of such physical feelings upon the thinking brain, which codifies anything enjoyable as "a pleasure to chased and repeated". The brain tries to interpret physical feelings, but fails to grasp the whole.

The result of the thinking brain's calculation of desire projects a mental image which feeds back upon the physical body to generate "feelings of desire" (pleasure), which are always less powerful than feelings generated in actually interacting with a lover. Thus the word "love" is not an accurate representation of the experience it implies.

Thus people may offer subservience in an attempt to induce feelings of affection or gratitude from others, in order to chase their own desires.

Any notion of a love above this (some ideal of perfect love etc) is the brains attempt to sustain its own biases and cares; in-so-far as, there is no such thing existing as perfect love, and even if there were, the brain would not be able to calculate it.

I want to qualify the last statement: exist is from Latin Ex- (out) + sistere (standing), things exist if they stand out, and the brain is the only instrument we have to re-cognize things that exist. Thus: if you think you've noticed that an action might be selfless before you carry it out, you've miscalculated. The calculation isn't faulty, its just that the brain can never incorporate all the variables required to obtain a relevant conclusion; further, the variables that are incorporated into reasoning can only be interpreted against the backdrop of ones memories, and so any conclusions must be self-centered.

Selfless acts cannot be recognized as such, because if an action does not relate to self (e.g. if it is selfless), no memory will recognize it.

Although on occasion it is possible for someone to act above selfish concern, they will not realize they are doing it because such action is "not born from the mental movement/oscillation between desire and fear"; but rather, selfless acts are born of innate reaction to actuality.

Thought tries to idolize perfect selfless love "to form it into a known concept", corrupting actuality into reality by codifying the unknown into a pattern in memory: this mental activity denigrates any possibility of acting selflessly.

Love:

from Old English lufu "love, affection, friendliness," from P.Gmc. *lubo (cf. O.Fris. liaf, Ger. lieb, Goth. liufs "dear, beloved;" not found elsewhere as a noun, except O.H.G. luba, Ger. Liebe), from PIE *leubh- "to care, desire, love"

Similarly: respect can only ever be relative to the view of the observer. A person may have committed murder, rape, extortion, child molestation etc, and still generate respect from close family members who are not privy to the whole picture.

How much can you trust your own thoughts? Is it safe to respect anybody? No matter from how many positions you measure a person from, how can any calculation of trust be made with total certainty?

It is apparent perhaps that deep down, thought suspects this, and does not even respect itself, let alone others. Yet there is a great yearning for being able to rely upon someone: to imagine that someone else is dependable!

With some people, they project this illusion upon their partner or spouse. Still others project this illusion upon a figure from history: a great scientist, philosopher, religious figure, or concept of a perfect God. What is the projecting instrument? Is it not thought? The same instrument of thought (the brain) sometimes grossly mis-calculates and makes one look a fool in front of people; is it not the same tool we use to form belief's about "higher powers" "divine destiny" and "perfection"?

Love is more important, but with love comes respect, so the two are not separated as long as love comes first.

Many people in this world would say they have respect for others. But I think it's safe to say that many of them feel and show respect without ever feeling love towards the person they are respecting. So, their respect never reaches the point it would if they first showed love.

Agape love, principled love, the kind of love we were commanded to have in the Bible is the key. Respect can be more important than romantic love, but respect can never be more important than that true, selfless, agape love. (Matt. 22:36-39; John 13:34)

Respect is a fashionable thing these days and is usually associated with fear and violence in our miserable society! It often becomes a compensation for feeling like ****. You don't respect or value yourself (I don't mean you personally goodfella!) but at least some other people do.

Love is the prime mover and the cement for all good community relations but a love that is grounded in self respect. How do you get self respect? It comes through effective and skilled social (though not cold calculating Machiavellian) behaviour and understanding your motivation. Taking some interest in other people as well as for yourself. After all we're all human we all want pleasure and to avoid pain, we're all alive - we have much in common with each other. Some people say you find fulfilment only when you start treating other people well. Defending yourself where necessary but with a ruthless consideration for your "opponent".

admire is extra important using fact without it you won't be in a position to relatively have love. With admire comes love and that's the best! you won't be in a position to love somebody and not admire them thats no longer precise.