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How to deal with husband who chews tobacco?
My husband has been smoking chewing tobacco for a very long time. He quit both before we got engaged two and a half years ago. For whatever reason, he's started chewing tobacco again. It's DISGUSTING. His whole family lives here and he won't tell them he's doing it because he knows they'll give him a hard time about it. He came home a few weeks ago with this spot in his mouth and was hysterical thinking he had mouth cancer. He got it checked out and it's not cancer. You'd think that would have been enough to get him to stop chewing, but nope!
I'm totally ticked off about this. I think it's gross and I shouldn't have to sit around and watch him do it. Every other day he tells me he's going to quit and he'll throw it away. Then he sneaks out to buy more and starts doing it all over again. When I say anything about it, he launches into this whole "Oh, well I guess you're perfect" tirade. I don't know how to deal with this. It just makes me SO mad.
The smoking or chewing is a big deal to me. I watched my grandmother die of lung cancer and have no desire to see that happen to my husband. I don't nag him, but am looking for a way to effectively talk to him.
To the chic who answered who said I was obiously not perfect and I needed to be less prim and proper... Go back to your trailer filled with smoke and die a slow painful Cancer wrought death. Or better yet, watch it happen to your husband since you're so OK with it.
5 Answers
- Anonymous1 decade agoFavorite Answer
start dipping snuff and let it drool down your chin. Give him a big kiss like that and see if he gets the message.
- 1 decade ago
So... you think it's all that simple for him....? You don't think this is a struggle for him... he must be doing it just to get on you're nerves, right? Please!
By you're own admission, he had been smoking/chewing tobacco for a very long time... You knew it when you were dating him, right? But obviously, it did not disgust you enough to stop seeing him...
People who quite smoking and/or chewing - MOST WILL be hit with a moment of weakness and start back using it at some point. They may go back and forth several times before they ultimately succeed... or, they may not ever beat the habit. And when people do start back, it is almost always triggered by stressful situations... whether it's acute stress, or something that's been ongoing. Either way, they find themselves needing an 'outlet'. And while it may not be you're cup of tea, princess... the effects of it are still certainly better than that of drugs, alcohol, or an affair.
And whats so darn ironic about, all this pressure and added stress you are burdening him with over it- is making it THAT MUCH HARDER for him to 'focus' on putting them back down. It is a VERY REAL ADDICTION... and you being so hard and insensitive toward him absolutely blows my mind. How do you manage to think so strickly about 'yourself'?!
And besides you, he's also got to worry about the rest of his family "giving him a hard time over it"? Seriously?!?! This poor guy... I can see exactly why he needs the 'outlet'! Here's an idea~ why do don't y'all start giving him a bit of encouragement... and, treat him like the grown man he is...
He's right, you need to stop acting so prim, proper, and "perfect"... clearly, you're not. Nor is he you're toy. And for the tremendous dumb *** who answered, "leave him"... you are a crude and self-serving fool too. In fact... perhaps this stressed out guy needs to leave "HER".
Source(s): 18 yrs married to a former tobacco chewer and current smoker.... He's a great guy, and he is worth loving, despite his choice... or weakness (however you want to look at it)!! And NO, the 'chewing' did not disgust me... quitting was HIS OWN choice. - 1 decade ago
Until you husband actually WANTS to quit for HIMSELF, no amount of nagging, grief, screaming, or dram from you will, convince him otherwise.
He has already proved that he's willing to sacrifice your good opinion of him, if it means he can do something he obviously enjoys, no matter how dangerous and humiliating it is.
Decide whether it is worth it to you to LIVE with his habit,......... or not. Then take action on your decision.
You'll never be able to FORCE him to quit in this lifetime. Ultimately he has to want to quit, you can only play a small role in that decision.
- xoxoxoLv 51 decade ago
1. Tell his fam. maybe that will stop him! DOn't feel bad about it!
2. Throw it away, and when you see him doing it leave the house
3. Don't have sex with him, or anything sexually related until YOU think he's stopped
4. Spend the amount of money it costs him to buy it on w.e you want maybe he'll think about it!
5. When he says things like "Oh, well I guess you're perfect." Just agree even if you don't think so.
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