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Is this how it would be if you Married Each Sign?
i seriously doubt anyone will agree with this...but lets try it lol
TAURUS
A Taurus doesn't do anything unless there's something to show
for it. Walk into even the most modest Taurus's home, and you'll
see at least a whole wall of trophies. Never mind that they are
for "Most Improved Bowler" or "Third Place, Rhubarb Pies" or
"Fastest Sheep Catcher in Texas." So they´re more likely to just want a show off partner to make them a ´´trophy wife´´
GEMINI
Gemini also love to "chase someone till they're caught."
Women, especially, love to pricktease, and then when the guy falls
all over them drooling, she'll *forget* she was ever remotely
interested. *****. Conclusion, NEVER marry a Gemini.
CANCER
Cancers are pretty dull partners. Foreplay to a Cancer man involves
a kiss on the cheek. Ask a Cancer woman what for play is, and she'll
say "something they shout on a golf course before they throw out
the first ball." The phrase "wham, bam, thank you, mam" was invented
to describe a Cancer's honeymoon. So you can forget about this union if you dont like the boring type.
LEOS
Leos are conceited and vain. However, they make good support partners. They are very trusting and generous.
The phrases "The check is in the mail", "I love you", and
"I won't *** in your mouth" are all on the Top 10 Phrases
to save for Leos. What more can you ask for in a husband?.
VIRGOS
Virgos are the kind of people who put sanitized toilet seat
covers down on a clean motel john. They are the kind of people
who insist on using the unopened tube of K-Y. If the condom
isn't vacuum-sealed, they won't go near it. And complete showers,
if not disinfected baths, are required both before and after.
And if you even touch a Virgos asshole, kiss your tryst goodbye. Not a good idea.
LIBRAS
Libras are pretty good husbands and houswifes.
These people will do almost anything for peace and harmony. The way
to drive a Libra ape-**** is to say "**** me or I'll play loud punk
rock music." Along those lines, Libras make the best hostages.
Unfortunately, many of them also become cops. Nightsticks make a
well-behaved lover.
SCORPIOS
Scorpios posess great intellectual curiosity & creative talent. They
think they are rebels & are arrogant, proud, conceited, and worth every
penny of it. Despite all these shortcomings, they make loyal & devoted
marriage partners, at least for the first 5 minutes. After that, it just
depends on what catches their eye. Scorpios always want what they can't
have, and generally manage to get it...sometimes legally.
SAGITTARIUS
They dislike being tied down, and hate to even talk about it.
A single Sagittarius is charming, but a married one is an
obnoxious flirt who would sell his/her spouse for a roll in the
hay with a new young stag/broad. And it often works out that way.
CAPRICORNS
Often self-conscious, and overly concerned with what other
people think of them, Capricorns can be a real pain. They are
much more interested in appearances than any other sign. But
if you cross them, they don't get angry, they don't get even.
They just turn their internal thermostat down about 100 degrees
when they see you. Women who marry a Capricorn, and flirt, end
up with a pussy full of cocksicle.
AQUARIUS
Generous to a fault, it was an Aquarius who invented the
"pity ****." Someone having a rough time? Well, **** 'em!
Literally! It'll cheer him up, at least. Of course, when an
Aquarius screws you, you may walk bowlegged for months.
It depends on how many positions, "toys" and hours the session
lasts. So, no good marriage material here.
PISCES
There isn't really much more to say about Pisces people. Except
that creativity is often achieved through deprivation, and as a
result, some of the most expressive artists were born Pisceans. BORING.
ARIES
The Aries affair usually gets pretty kinky, because with that
limber body and great stamina, they get bored with "the same old
thing" every night. From woman-on-top to shetland-pony-on-top is
not a long leap for an Aries. Is that really something you wish to marry?
17 Answers
- Anonymous1 decade agoFavorite Answer
Does anyone find it weird that the water signs complained first? Lol
Aries sounds pretty accurate.
- ?Lv 61 decade ago
I like the first half of the Aquarius one (even tho it's not true, i've used some of that and reworded it in jokes before >"Someone having a rough time? Well, **** 'em! Literally! It'll cheer him up, at least"), but if i wanted to laugh at mine, i'd have to try really hard to make myself believe it's somewhat funny cus it's pretty corny. I liked the Leo one "The phrases "The check is in the mail", "I love you", and "I won't *** in your mouth" are all on the Top 10 Phrases to save for Leos. What more can you ask for in a husband?" < clever.
- Jeska JLv 41 decade ago
This reminds me how much easier it is for the guy in a relationship sex wise, they decide they love the girl, they can love her and also live his personal life, but a lady like myself is always trying to improve myself to be more attractive, a guy just comes along into her now perfect life....? Pretty much a good story to me :-)
I'm a Gemini.
- Anonymous1 decade ago
LOL Well I don't know about the rest but the Aries getting bored of things very fast makes a lot of sense to me. Oh yeah, and the "stamina" thing too! ;P
Source(s): Aries - How do you think about the answers? You can sign in to vote the answer.
- MoneyMenLv 77 years ago
I think this zodiac stuff is all b.s. but I have to laugh having once had a fling with a Gemini who was exactly as described above.
- 1 decade ago
Im a Cappy and I lold alot at this, I would say its remotely accurate for us halfbreeds haha.
- Anonymous1 decade ago
i really would love to choke the person who wrote that abut capricorns..yes i know im sexy don't need no one to tell me this my haters let me know that everyday but my money is more important..i love to fight only when necessary, mess with my family and friends and it's a wrap.. false info, i dont agree or like it!
Source(s): capricorn - loveableLv 41 decade ago
Sorry but you have it twisted cancers are not DULL....Basically everything you said about cancers was wrong don't be fooled by the hype(what you read about us)Do you write stuff like this on purpose to uphold that "mean Sagittarius Thing"?? you know cancers are kind of like mind readers and that's the vibe im getting from you !
Source(s): Crazy,cling cancer! - Grey EquinoxLv 51 decade ago
o.O
This list honestly sounds like one of those lists that just makes fun of each sign.
And I highly disagree with the Scorpio one, except for the loyal and devoted part.. (Disagree with the "but only for five minutes..")
Source(s): ✦✦✦☽_Scorpio Sun/Aries Moon/Sagittarius Rising _☾✦✦✦