How to think "we" instead of "I"?

How old are you? How was your upbringing? Are women objects to you or possessions?

When you become involved in a relationship, you need to treat her as you would want to be treated. Do not expect from her what you cannot give. A woman invest in a relationship and men tend to just see what happens... COMMUNICATION: What do you wand and need? For God's sake TALK! She is not a mind reader. LISTEN: let her know that you are listening by paraphrasing so to avoid misunderstandings. PUT YOURSELF IN HER SHOES: How would you feel if you were her. A woman does not want you to think like them but to me mindful of them.

Please don't just learn to use "WE" rather then "I" if you don't really mean it. As a grown A$$ man you should know were you stand or not stand in life. If you just want a girl to hang out and or as a Booty call, give her the option. DO not be selfish by pretending to want more than what you can give.

ALL OF THIS APPLIES TO BOTH PARTNERS!

The hard part of a relationship is the conversion from "I" to "We" because we all come in to a relationship as individuals..... I am 35 and have been with my sweetheart on and off for over 21years.. the lat 13 we have been living together. I am not a perfect man by any means because i have failed in many ways... There is no way WE would have lasted long if WE did not each work hard at it. COMMUNICATION, TRUST, HONESTY and TEAMWORK have been some of the most important keys in our relationship. Most importantly i knew i wanted to committed to her and our relationship and vise versa. In my opinion, people don't change in a relationship, Relationships change people for the better or worse. We do not need to change to be in a relationship, We just need be willing to adjust.. The real changes comes once you have define what "WE" means in your relationship.

It is quiet okay to say i am not ready to commit or be in a relationship... It is not okay to play with someone else emotions!

Well, her opinion was that you were selfish. Do you, upon introspection, view yourself as selfish? I ask this because many times people percieve things in others that are not entirely true. Perhaps your ex's needs were inherently selfish too, and she saw your selfish needs as an obstruction to her getting her needs met. Relationships and interaction are about balance; moderation. To provide such, start thinking in 50/50, or quid pro quo. Start by asking people how their day was, or when meeting someone asking them questions about themselves. We are all selfish, and it's encoded in our biology, because self-preservation is survival. You should practice giving and taking, as opposed to taking, and being more in tune with another person's emotions and needs. This takes time and banging your head against the wall many times before you actually get somewhere with it, but so do all things in life. Also, perhaps your ex was projecting? Believe me, people project their own issues onto others, especially when they feel hurt. Sometimes it's covert, like "you're so selfish" and sometimes it's overt like "you're cheating on me! (when they themselves in fact have cheated)".

To think in another person's perspective, think how you would feel in their shoes. It takes lots of introspection to be sensitive. And it's a good trait to have. But don't beat yourself up here. And don't be an altruist, because then you'll be a doormat. It's okay to be sensitive, but don't use your sensitivity to be the "nice guy" who gets used. Not all people think in 50/50, and often times if you believe in such an expectation, you end up getting used and disappointed by people who are selfish. So, you arriving at the conclusion that your behavior may need tweaking means you are on the right track, but take it slowly and with baby steps- you can't get there in one day.

Well honestly I feel like that's something that has to just come naturally, and for that to come naturally you have to naturally love and care about her. maybe you weren't at this stage yet? maybe she had reached a level in your relationship where she really cared about you but you didn't yet. because when you care about someone, thinking about them and their needs comes naturally. I wouldn't beat yourself up too much about it, but in the mean time just do exactly what you said: when a decision or something comes up, make it a conscious habit to ask the other person what they want first. best of luck :)

Its not really something you learn to do, its more of a maturity thing I guess you'd say. At some point, your desires just change from wanting to take care of yourself to wanting to take care of someone else. The fact that you desire this change is a good indicator you may have started to reach this step.

well, you are doing something right: you realize when you are selfish and are trying to overcome it. keep reminding yourself that it isn't all about you. if you want to be happy, you'll need the people you care about to be happy as well. would you still be happy seeing her sad? if not, do things because you want her to be happy. it all comes down to you though, nobody else can make you unselfish. only you have control over yourself. but if you want it, then you can do it.

Try doing more things together. Nothing competitive, though. Make her feel like she's in a "team" with you. She's probably feeling like you leave her out, or stand too independent. You have to show her you need her. :)

I think WE should examine the deeper aspect of this bullsh!ttery......she is a selfish wh0re who wants to completely control you....all women are.....best thing to do is screw as many as you can in your life and break all their little slutty hearts....they dont give a sh!t about you only what they can gain and get from you....i promise i know what i am talking about

Always be open to what your girlfriend or friend wants to do instead of thinking of yourself.Put others before you,not all the time,but balance it out.!

You don't lack anything. The female in question merely wanted money and attention.

Usualy when you are with somebody that just comes naturaly to you. But all you can really do is just keep telling yourself its about what she wants to not just me anymore. Do things with her even if you would not like them just to make her happy thats what it is about.