I have a question for APs:?

I do try to educate people when I see myths/wrong information about adoptees and parents that permeate these sights, BUT, in a respectful manner. Their ignorance comes from not being properly educated (duh), as an AP I feel it is my responsibility to educate them in a respectful, non-hostile manner. I don't know anyone who is open to learning when information is coming at them in a angry, condescending manner.

I do admit that I don't frequent those types of sites as the posts tend to drive me crazy.

If i have the time, I respond to anyone I see spouting stereotypes, especially if they are stereotypes about birth parents because they tend to have less of a public voice than adoptees or adoptive parents. I often just tell them the story I got about our daughter's first mother, which is quite educational and stereotype busting. I don't generally have the time and I won't be visiting any more sites like this for a long long time. I'm only back for a minute to check on a few things briefly and noticed your question, which I initially thought was actually a serious question.

I have yet to meet the pro-adoption part of society somehow, outside of adoption agencies fishing for the big bucks and profiting off of the difficulties of both adoptive parents and original parents. But those agencies aren't really "society". That isn't to say that they don't have a lot of influence. Make anything a business and it is going to be spun and spun. Maybe that is why the society I live in, in a country where the adoption business is strictly outlawed, is not very pro-adoption. I guess I should be grateful we don't have private adoption agencies, even though there are some drawbacks to having the state have all the power over people's lives. I am definitely grateful there is no money involved.

Somet issues i glance at think of...huh how ought to they try this, its incorrect and could lead directly to each form of issues. (like the Youtube advert.) yet in spite of the incontrovertible fact that it became extra undemanding for a toddler to make certain they have been accompanied in later in existence devoid of wish of looking their Nfamily by way of fact of fears from some adoptive mum and dad. (no longer couple, some even glided by skill of their very own instincts approximately and have been honest with their young ones from the beginning up.) Is it in basic terms that there is a technologies further it out interior the open what some persons are arranged to do to get a toddler. Yeah i think of so. back interior the BSE it became all stored under wraps. Even diverse AP's did no longer understand what went on hospitals and how babies have been taken from their mothers. a number of them have been lied to besides. presently there is not any authentic excuse for being unethical (inspite of the indisputable fact that no longer being knowledgeable of the effects adoption could have on a toddler) or ignorant while going into adoption. the information is there, so are books and different analyze approximately adoption and what's considered ethical. No 'merchandising' became utilized in our adoption-relatives maintenance comes first. Its considered the final decision, no longer the 1st.

Ferbs, These days I avoid most forums involving adoption. I drop in here occasionally, but the questions are very much the same as over 18 months ago. I don't try and change a person's mind all the time now and allow frustration in. I will tell a few facts in a tactful way and leave it as food for thought for them if they're interested then just recommend a few good books.

All of the forums I've come across are American anyway and I don't relate to most of the things they go in about, the Brits and Aussies adoptive parents just don't seem interested in forming forums, different outlook on adoption could be the reason. Its to fill a need for a child, not adults and there are other supports out there.

Most of the time people who have had nothing to do with raising children who are not biologically their own just can't get their head around any of it. I guess they never had to look past their own life. (I feel sorry for them now, how boring is their life...)

I avoid other adoptive parents like the plague sometimes. (you excluded) I just don't have the energy anymore. I had a real knock down argument with an IA parent over "gotcha" day (eww). She was like "how dare I judge her", she "knew" all the ethics involved and she was "helping" a child.

Not once in my life as an AP did I go "aren't I wonderful for helping these poor children". I do go "what the hell have I done???" but most parents go through days like that.

Sometimes I do. I actually find that I do so more often IRL, maybe because I can be a little more subtle, to which people tend to be more receptive. I find that if I'm online, I feel compelled to say more at once, because online attention spans are so short.

I don't get irritated unless someone crosses the line from naive to mean, which happens now and then. Comments about first moms being x, y or z are the most common "mean" sentiments I see outside of adopto-land, to be honest, and I usually can't resist saying something then. Another one that gets me is misconceptions about foster care or the kids in care. Some people have some weird ideas, and it's hard for me not to say something then...like I'm complicit somehow in perpetuating the myth.

Lately, though, I've just been kind of worn out, and haven't had the energy to do much of anything in that respect. I check Y!A briefly every day, check my email, and graze over FB. That about sums up my online time in the last few weeks. LOL. But, it doesn't give me much contact with stupidity, which isn't a terrible thing. :-)

Pro-adoption - yes definitely. Society is that.

I speak from experience. I was so brainwashed by the "unicorns fart rainbows" stories that are all over that I was completely shocked that there was a dark side to adoption.

Completely and utterly shocked!

I don't surf other adoption sites. Since coming here I've learned my lesson. I won't ever be part of that pain, so there's no reason for me to seek out that influence in my life.