How to contact "lost" son?

Question

My husband has a son that was the result of a one night stand 17 years ago. He did not find out that he had a son until several years later and has never met him. His name is not even on the birth certificate. He found out when the CSA contacted him whilst in the Army in Afghanistan and has been paying child support for the last 10 years. Even when he was back in the UK the mother refused to allow him to meet either her or the child and he felt that with his Army deployments and the moving around they have to do, he couldn't offer anything to the child (like regular contact or a stable life) so he didn't pursue it like maybe he should have done. He has now completely lost touch with the mother. We don't even know what her or the child's names are or where they are living anymore. 
The son is now 16 and my husband is thinking more and more about the son he's never met. He wants to try to contact him to tell him why he wasn't around and to try to build a relationship with him. We have no children of our own and I know he is feeling sad that he doesn't know the only child he is likely to have. 
We have searched the internet for the names we know, and even trawled through facebook for anyone that sounds similar, but we are drawing complete blanks. He has rung the CSA and asked them to pass on his details to the son, but they say it is a breach of the Data Protection Act. They also will not give him any information about his son, even to confirm if his name is still the same. 
The only thing they have offered to do is to try to pass on a letter from my husband to his son's mother, but they say it isn't always possible and also let slip that they don't think they have the right contact number or address for her anyway.
I am in total disbelief that my husband seems to have no right to see his son, no right to make contact and no right to any help in finding him. The only thing he seems to be entitled to is paying hundreds of pounds a month. 
I desperately want to help my husabnd find his son, but I don't know what else to do. 
Does anyone have any ideas how to find him?

Bubbles · Accepted Answer

I can almost imagine how desperate the feeling was for your husband. Anyhow, why not try the assistance of the media. Publish a missing person Ad in the newspaper. You can also go to the TV or Radio station and try to make an announcement that you are looking for your husband's missing son. 

I know, it's like trying to find a needle in a bunch of hay. The more that it becomes more difficult if you don't have any names or pictures or anything that would be of help to describe the person you are looking for. 

I do hope that your husband will be reunited to his long lost son. Just don't give up hope. There's still a way that would lead both of them to each other. For the meantime, consider my suggestion. You'll not gonna lose anything if you will try. Goodluck.

denise · Answer

first things first how does he know its his ! tell him to contact csa and say he would like a dna test second thing is go to court find a solictor give them csa details they will contact mother and offer a meeting if she refuses theyll take it to court with the son stating wether or not he wishes to see his father as hes of age he can do this i mean the poor lad might not even no ! 


if they cant find her to do a dna test they well stop csa that should get her to come out of hiding !

David Alexander · Answer

you need to start by going to births deaths and marriages in the area where boy was born and get copy
of birth certificate,this will give you his full name,then go to census and see if he was stil at birth addrss on the census then take it from there

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How to contact "lost" son?

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