My boyfriends is violent and came to my sons school- what shall i do?

Question

Im not a troll or wasting your time. Here is my problem. 
I have boyfriend who is 23yrs old, i am 22yrs old. We have one son between us. We both live on a council estate and he has a problem with his anger.

Their has been a history of violence from him, not just to me but others. He is a big 6ft tall bulky typical blonde, blue, scottish guy and loves to do boxing and martial arts.

Also his friends when they take him out he always ends up in fights with other revellers and gets arrested for things like assault etc... (but for some reason he gets away with it)

Now sometimes hes hurt me and ive called the police e.g broken my nose once, dragged me. But i've forgiven him. Now the last time he hit me a few months ago i called the police and he was arrested and bailed, then i withdrew the allegations.

I live alone in a council flat in a very dangerous area with my young son. My boyfriend lives with his mother now and friends in same area.

The other day my ex-boyfriend came to my son school and caused a scene demanding he be allowed to see his son. He ended up in a fight with the teachers and they called the police, because he hit the teacher.

Now what should i do? THe family court process is still ongoing and my lawyer said someone like him violent will never get his hands on your son.

Do you think i am being harsh? Should i give him access? At the same time i am scared of him?

Any advice please tell me? Also the other time this other guy was talking to me and later on i saw this guy with a black eye. It looks like my ex-boyfriend doesnt want another guy "having me" as he put it?

What should i do? I dont want to move from this area because my mam lives near by?- also i am a bit confused as i still have feelings for him each time i see him?- its difficult.... please tell me?

Rose · Accepted Answer

First, you need to stop taking him back just because he's your BF and father to your son.

Second, I would not give him access to your son, he may be the father of him, but he is certainly not being a good parent like he should be.

Morgann · Answer

First off, Think about how much you love your son. as well as LOVE yourself! 

You can show these things by keeping you both SAFE, especially from some one who's hurt you before. His anger problems won't just disappear, most likely they will stay. You dont want your son seeing his father like this, is that what you want? the chances are his fathers actions could be influencing your son to be just like him. 

NEVER LET A MAN TOUCH YOU. he is not a man if he does. have self worth. every lady should be treated with respect especially after having their child. be strong especially for your son, this weak man needs to leave your life.

Anonymous · Answer

I think you seriously need to be in touch with Women's Aid if you aren't already for the sake of you and your sons safety,they can place you in a hostel far away and you might be able to take your mother if she is also at risk.Also the council generally rehouse victims of domestic violence,but depending on your area and if housing isn't a problem in that area they could help.Do you have a restraining order? if not you should look into it, domestic violence officers can set you up with solicitors who deal with these issues.If this was me i would do everything possible to ensure my and my child's safety,you are just as important as your son and he needs you safe.

Anonymous · Answer

One day it could be your son with the black-eye.

Anonymous · Answer

Do you take it in the butt??

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My boyfriends is violent and came to my sons school- what shall i do?

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