Is the only way a relationship can work is if two people have nothing in common?

Ah, the old "opposites attract" saying. I have never thought that was true. In fact, it's been proven to be untrue numerous times in my life. If two people are too different, personality-wise and all, how can they relate to each other and understand each other? At the same time, if two people are too similar, how can they lead an interesting life together? I think there has to be a balance. You should be able to relate to the other in some ways, but they should still be able to surprise you.

Edit: I'm on Alex's bandwagon on this one. I think she's entirely right. Similar priorities and values are crucial to a long-lasting relationship.

I have had friends with whom I've had trivial things in common --same music and movies and such-- so there were plenty of things to talk about. But when it came right down to it, I questioned their morals a lot and their loyalty to me. Those aren't friends. I couldn't trust them. But they were fantastic friends with people who treated me the same way... I think that proves Alex's point that similar priorities are what build the foundation of a relationship. In my case with my best friend, we definitely have the same priorities and we happen to have some other major things like books and music in common. But all the things that are dissimilar between us don't make us less-good friends (if you'll pardon my bad grammar, here). As Shelby said, you should be willing to accept the other's differences and work with them. The other friends I mentioned were not that way at all towards me. So, in the end, it's a balance that you need to find. Same priorities and values, not necessarily (and maybe preferrably) the same interests.

Relationships that rely on quote that opposites attract will fail. There was a study that showed that couples that are opposite kept things interesting, but they all broke up eventually. In order for a relationship to work, the two people must have a good amount of things in common, if not a lot.

Personally, and this is just my opinion, I think that people need to have a moral base that's the same in their relationship. Everything else is trivial. But you have to believe in the same things. It doesn't matter if one of you loves football and the other one hates it, or if one's academic and the other's sporty or something. If one of you loves spicey food and the other one hates it. That's nothing and I think things like that are irrelevant but add a bit of fun.

What really matter is your morals and your priorities. And everyone would like to say they're big on trust and loyalty and being good. But in the end nobody is all of those things. Some people just aren't very moral people. And I have friends that are, I'm not saying they're mean, they've just got different priorities. And I think that's another thing. you're priorities matter. I don't think a relationship can work where one person's a workaholic and the other one is someone who just wants as much holidays as they can get.

So yeah. I think that in some cases difference it's the spice of life. But in others it's the kiss of death.

that is the stupidest thing i've ever heard, i'm sure your friends have never been in relationships! i assume they're going by the "opposites attract" theory, which has two problems: first off, it is nowhere implied that you should have NOTHING in common with a person, in fact you MUST have SOMETHING in common with them to even begin to build a relationship (for example, you both have to speak the same language in order to communicate!!!). it's true that some people who don't have much in common can be attracted to each other, BUT, statistically long lasting relationships depend on both partners having LOTS in common... which means it is indeed a good to have things in common with your partner, and makes what they said completely and utterly incorrect. sorry but your friends are really stupid!

i kinda agree...if the two people have everything in common its kinda......boring.

Its more exciting if the two people are different because then its hard to anticipate what will happen next, because they think so differently then you. If your exactly the same its sorta like dating yourself, and who really wants to date themselves, unless their a narcissus ^____^

on the other hand, you do need SOME similarities, other wise the relationship probably wont last for very long. like what Sam said, ....."you need to speak the same language in order to communicate", so that qualifies as a similarity. I think that if you date a person with different intrest it can lead you to experencing different things and maybe growing to like them too. So yes, its nice to have SOME differences, but common grounds are what keep the relationship strong.

this is one of those great questions like "what is the meaning of life" or "is there a god"

in my opinion...the less you have in common, and you're willing to accept the other person, you'll have a better relationship. when people base their relationship on things they have in common...it leaves no room for change.

today, i like chicken noodle soup, and i find other chicken noodle soup enthusiasts to date. when i, tomorrow, decide i don't like chicken noodle soup, the lack of tolerance on either side of the relationship will end the relationship.

and then say today i love chicken noodle soup, and i date this guy who hates it, but rather loves apple sauce. when tomorrow i decide i don't like chicken noodle soup, nothing really happens negatively in the relationship. our tolerance is so high that we can get through anything.

now, clearly in a real relationship, the issues won't be about chicken noodle soup. it will probably be about the kinds of personalities you like, or the kinds of choices you prefer others make. you can change your mind everyday, and you can be happy as long as you're tolerant of each other.

i think though saying the two people have *nothing* in common in bad...i mean, you have to have something in common to be able to get to the point where you're willing to compromise with each other and just be happy the way they are...

It's hard to say since each person has different preferences. Each relationship is different, it depends on how much compromises each side is willing to make and how much differences / similarities they can handle.

haha noo this is so stupid.

you need to have things in common, unless you want just a purely sexual relationship.

obviously

nothing like hard and fast rules to apply to every relationship in the world *eyeroll*