Should I put my foot down and ask my fiance to stop keeping in touch with his X-wife?(who he has no kids with)?

It is too late to put your foot down. Really, if he loved and respected you, there wouldn't be a need to put your foot down. He wouldn't keep in such good contact with her.

So, you know he would lie to you and has. You don't know if this is the only lie or there are others. I truly feel this woman is not out of his life or out of his heart. He has chosen her over you. You need to find someone who has his priorities straight and will want only you.

There might be a reason for you not to trust his judgment, so you may be justified to feel threatened by this friendship of his. All I can say is that sometimes a cigar is just a cigar - people whose marriage didn't work out can still be friends and enjoy each other's company, without sinister motives. If this is a deal-breaker to you, you need to tell your fiance a.s.a.p., so he is aware that he's jeopardizing his whole relationship with this stuff. I remained friends with my former husband for many years after we were divorced; it was not a secret, my fiance new about it - it was just one of the friendships I had in my life when we met. Some of my friendships actually have fizzled away on their own since I got married - my focus has gradually changed from doing "single" stuff to doing stuff with my husband. Nowadays, I don't even talk to my former spouse - we drifted apart. The world of relationships is more complicated than "cheating" vs. "not cheating".

I know it's hard trying to decide who pays for what and where the money goes etc but maybe this would be the answer. Open another bank account in your/ your fiance's name/s and put $2K into it, then it is in your control. Then explain that because so many of the people you love want to contribute to the wedding it was only fair to pool the funds so that no-one was disadvantaged. Tell them that you have set your budget at $6K which means that you and your fiance, his parents and your parents can contribute to 1/3 of the costs which is $2K which can be deposited into your joint wedding account. If someone wishes to contribute more money then they can do so however any extra that you recieve will be split 50/50 between your honeymoon and a college fund for your younger sister. By specifically saying that everyone wants to help financially but you only need $6K, and intend on giving the remainder to your sister to better her life so that one day she can be as happy as you are, you might find that your mother is more reluctant to give you the money in the first place knowing it won't be used and that everything is set up so it can't be used unless you want it to. At the moment it is your mother who has the wedding account, not you and your partner. Another option would be to suggest your parents pay for one half of the wedding and your fiance's parents pay for the other half and you and your partner pay for the honeymoon. That way both sets of parents have contributed equally and in any case $3k is much better that $6k out of your parents pockets if it keeps your mum happy. Not perfect but better. Try to change the focus to people wanting to help rather than her not being able to provide as she sees it. Explain that she has already provided a wonderful life for you and made you into the woman you are today who is about to marry her love and she can afford to let others help provide if they want to because they will never be able to give you what she already has.

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You should have a serious talk with him. He shouldn't be lying about what his plans are with his ex-wife if he isn't doing or thinking about doing anything wrong. Let him know that if he wants to keep in touch with his ex-wife he needs to be completely honest with his CURRENT wife. Maybe integrating you into their friendship might help? If they want to have dinner, maybe make it a double date with you guys, the ex and her date. Something of the sort.

He shouldn't be lying and if you do feel uneasy explain to him why. Let him know that consideration for each others feelings is vital in making this marriage work.

I personally don't think the idea of "putting your foot down" ever works. And if it does then it is working for the wrong reasons, and that will end up hurting you in the end. You need to talk to him. Address your concerns. And allow him to talk about what he is thinking. Don't let him just tell you what you want to hear. Hopefully you two can work this out and come to an agreement.

She seems more like a sister to him. Some people make better friends than spouses. I think I would say nothing at all. Just be very sweet to him.

Stomp your little footsies all you want but you'll get better results with bribery and being nice.

Footsie stomping often results in a big door shaped bruise on miss footsie's @ss.

you should. especially if there is no reason for them to meet. but that is only what i think.

yeah, no.

i don't trust this relationship.