Stepdaughter want's boyfriend in bedroom - your advice pls?

How many time on this site do girls talk about taking boys to their bedrooms and what then goes on. Stick to your guns, even with the door open they end up on the bed and one thing leads to another and pretty soon they are having sex right under your nose in your house. There is no way my kids would have taken their BF or GF to their bedroom. I'm not that stupid.

Wow, This has gone on so long it's doubtful it can be repaired. You both have went 6 years living with this situation and never addressed it until the child wants to leave. For 6 years you all have been living with an elephant in the living room and pretending it's not there. Why? Do you both hate conflict to such degree, or do you both live in a make believe world where everything is okay, until it's not? Either way, remember problems don't just go away, they just change. Unless you can look her in the eye and get real about what is and she you you can for get ever having an honest relationship with her. Why does she feel threatened. Chances are she sees you loving your daughter in the way she wishes you love her. Maybe it's real, maybe just imagined. But if it's her perspective, that's the angle you must approach it from. What she believes, what she feels is real. Reassure her of your love. Do things together the three of you not just you and "your daughter" but together as a family. Be mindful that women have insecurities that stem from their own relationships with their biological fathers. Perhaps she envies what she never had. Perhaps she's projecting her own fears and unfulfilled desires onto your daughter and you. Hopefully, you guys can get alone face to face, heart to heart and get the cat out of the bag. Take a weekend for just you and her. Spend time with her alone like you do with your daughter. Let here know that you have 2 special girls not just one. If this doesn't help, get Counseling. Hope it helps.

i am a 16 year old girl and to be honest if my parents wouldn't allow my boyfriend sleeping over then i would probably find some other place to have sex. lol..

the chances are your stepdaughter has probably already had sex or done some form of sexual activity already and why should that be a problem? i dont understand the taboo on this subject as at 16 we are at a legal right to have sex anyway.. at least shes doing it with a boyfriend she and you can trust rather than random people in random places she doesnt know...

also how can you be sure either way she hasnt had sex yet? you never know... and she might not even be expecting to anytime soon, heck she might believe in sex after marrige lol..

obviously if they have tons of loud sex day and night and are really obvious then sure you can tell them off.. everyone should learn when to have discreet sex lol.. and im sure your stepdaughter acknowledges her bedroom is above the living room.. and tbf would rather u not hear anyway..

the safest way for your stepdaughter to not get pregnant, have sex in an embarassing public space or do something else stupid is if you just put her on the pill to help her out, give her condoms and share the love! <3

You are not being unreasonable. Keep to your guns and insist that they stay downstairs in the family room. There is no reason they should be alone in the bedroom.

I have older parents as well and they were too tired to deal with us and really didn't know how to.

My youngest sister wound up pregnant at 17 years bc of a lack of parental involvement.

I would advise you to get your daughter on birth control now. Just as a precautionary. It's better safe than sorry.

Hi, I am 29 and I can particularly remember challenging the rules of the house, arguing relentlessly with my mother. I to wanted my boyfriend to sleep in my room and my parents said no! I was allowed to hang out with him in my room in the afternoon and at night with the door open. My advice is to make sure your stepdaughter is taking birth control and practicing safe sex, the truth of the matter is that if they want to have sex they will find a place to do it either it be in her room at your house or some place else. I know you would like to think that she would not do so but the reality of it is that if she and her boyfriend make the decision to do so it will happen, so take the necessary precautions. Now being a mother myself I will hold the same rules as my parents did and make sure my daughter is fully educated and protected so she can make the best informed decisions and I can hope as a parent I did the best thing for her. Good Luck!

I think your stepdaughter's perception that most boyfriends are allowed in bedrooms nowadays is correct.

But it's your house. Do whatever makes you feel comfortable. You don't have an obligation to listen to creaking bedsprings above your living room just because most other people's parents are willing to.

My parents didn't let me bring girls into my bedroom, and I never had any trouble finding places to make out with girls, athough, let me tell you, the back seat of an '87 Honda Accord is just not a comfortable place for that. Japanese cars are not built for love.

Anyway, my point is, it obviously won't kill her if you tell her to go get her smooch on somewhere else.

Well there are two ways I would handle that.

1-You tell them that if they want their boyfriend or girlfriend to stay over then they stay in the spare room or they do not stay. That's the rule.

2-This is the one I like. Tell your stepdaughter yes he can stay in her room. Then go up either before or with them and take the door off and see what she say's then. It worked with my sister.

depends on what kind of values you're trying to instill into them. Some parents don't mind if their kids to experience that kind of stuff and some would prefer that they didn't. As a teen myself, sometimes i find it kind of awkward to hang around in a living room with my boyfriend while his or my parents are right there (calling each other mushy nicknames and talking about our relationship is always kinda weird with the 'rents listening), so we prefer to hang out in his room with the door wide open so the parents know we aren't up to anything when they check in on us and Sometimes we like to nap together haha :) but the truth is though if she really wanted to, she'd find some way to have sex with him whether it was in your home or not. Your best chance is to just have a good long talk with her about it and make sure she knows about the consequences of being irresponsible

Any child that wants their date to live with them should get a job and their own place. If she says others let kids have their bf/gf live with them ask for the parents names and numbers , say you want to talk about how that is working out. I doubt they will have any info as that's likely very untrue.

I would call her bluff on that. Stick to your rules,it is your house. Doing this will motivate her to work and move out sooner than later, then you have more of your own space. It looks like a win win.

No way do not let her have the boyfriend in the bedroom. I have raised teenagers and that just encourages bad behavior if he doesn't like it and if she doesn't too bad. When she gets old enough to live in her own house or apartment she can do what she wants.