My 18 year old son broke down crying because his girlfriend of 3 years left him. What can I do to help him?

Question

My 18 year old son is in his first year at the local community college here in Scottsdale. He just recently graduated high school, and he has been with his girlfriend for the last 3 and a half years through high school. They were pretty much inseparable, went to high school dances, football games, the prom together, etc. However, today he came home and was in a pretty bad mood, started yelling saying things weren't fair, and he never did anything to deserve this. I finally got him to calm down and sit down and explain to me what he was talking about, and that's when he just lost it. My son just broke down in tears crying saying his girlfriend broke up with him and that she didn't want to be with him because she has found someone else who can make her happier. He told me she barely gave him a reason, and that he tried asking her what he did wrong to her and she just told him it was over. I honestly didn't know what to say to my son about this, except tell him everything will be ok. I just let him cry it out on my shoulder.

My wife has been trying to make our son happy all night, and get him to open up a little or maybe call his now ex-girlfriend and just try and talk to her, but he said no, he is too upset. I personally think he should maybe let her go. I don't want my boy hurt anymore. I couldn't stand seeing my son cry like that. I felt so helpless for him and it really broke my heart. I want to make him feel better and try and get his mind off this, but I'm worried its to soon. He's just been acting all depressed, not wanting to do anything and just laying either on the couch or on his bed crying. I want my son to feel better, but I know its going to take time. I don't know how else I can help him.

tyrson · Accepted Answer

I know when I was dumped by my first girlfriend my father took me out to the barn, gave me a beer, and just sat on the bench in the tack room with me. He didn't say anything beyond "would you like another beer"? He didn't patronize me or try to cheer me up, what he did is he treated me like another man, not just a kid, he didn't talk down to me. Three beers in I broke down and told him everything and cried, and when I did he was there for me. I felt like crap still later, but in the long run, his treating me like an adult and being there for me but not forcing his help on me made me feel better about the whole thing.

(this was one on only a few times i drank before I turned 21, It was not a regular thing)

blah · Answer

get him 2 hang out with close friends an exercise an stuff cause hes heartbroken an ive been there an i still am but thats what helps me the most. he needs lots of laughs an people 2 cheer him up but give him time 2 calm down it shouldnt take 2 long.

Your Biggest Fan · Answer

This is just so sad to read... You are a wonderful father to be there for him in such a difficult time of his life. He just lost his first love... First loves are the hardest to get over, believe me, I've been there. :( However, just like the night, the sun will always shine by tomorrow... Just be there for him but make sure you let him grieve... One day he'll feel better and find a way better girl just for him! :)

Anonymous · Answer

Everyone deals with heartbreak differently.
My boyfriend had a bad break up almost 4 years ago with a girl he was dating for 3 years and even proposed to her. He attempted suicide with pills.
There's nothing you can do to make him get over her, it will just take time. 
Offer to take him out to do things and hang out with him as much as you can so he knows you care.

Imran Y · Answer

He's not a kid anymore.You can't just cheer him up by giving him an ice-cream or buying him a toy.Let him deal with himself,it's probably better if you don't disturb him.Just make sure he's getting enough food and isn't trying to cut himself or commit suicide.

car05161967 · Answer

I found text in the Bible that could easily apply to this situation regardless of your religion.  Because it makes sense, 

1. Cor. 13:4-7

4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

How those Bible verses can apply to your son's situation, is this-

Your son's ex-girlfriend definitely wasn't patient, or kind.  By basically cheating on him, she was envious, proud, rude, self-seeking, kept a record of wrongs(imperfections) and, she didn't strive to be 100% honest with your son.

=) · Answer

give him some time h'll get over it.. convince him that if was treated him harshly then she is not "THE ONE" for him, and that he will find better girls than her.. all he has to do is wait a bit longer, shes on her way.. and he's only 18 years old.. he has his whole life ahead of him.. this is just like the beginning

? · Answer

oh the same happened to my 18 ur old brother! i didnt see him cry but eventually he better off without that whore who also left him for some other guy...just make sure he doesnt think of doing something crazy like suicide! most teen think about that when something like this happens to them... you are doing what you can to make him feel better ad he'll realize she wasnt worth all his tears.

Anonymous · Answer

Treat him like a man. A hand on the shoulder and not trying to patronize him

blackraven · Answer

Buy him some Mcdonalds, that'll cheer him up

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My 18 year old son broke down crying because his girlfriend of 3 years left him. What can I do to help him?

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