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New poem i wrote...what do you think?
I haven't posted any poems on here in a while but i wanted to know what you thought of my new poem (well sort of new). here goes:
The Field (could have a new name)
Behold a field
Left dark and lifeless.
Ignored by people
Low and strife less.
****
Its rutted dirt
Left dry and broken,
Once fruitful trees
Left old; begotten.
****
Evil demons
Masked in dark
Delivered the field,
A fresh painful mark.
****
Dry grassy hands
Reach up to the sky.
Praying for healing
Or the chance to die.
****
But behold comes a savior,
Walking; alone.
Dragging a plow
And seeds to be sown.
****
Powerful hands
Bring love to the ground.
He carves the earth
Without a sound.
****
It takes much strength
To bring life to this earth.
An almost dead field,
Revived by new birth.
****
The savior lay motionless
On the ground; almost dead.
Was his work all for nothing
But to plant a death bed?
****
His life for a field
That deserved simply naught,
But the pain and the strife
And the death that it sought.
****
Though, through all of his struggles
New hope starts to rise.
Death over took him
But now life is his prize!
****
Around him grows
The fruits of the field
Now saved from what seemed
A fate that was sealed.
****
Strengthened by joy
That his field was now saved
He can now move on
to another soon grave.
what do you think?
it is a bit too long lol but i think it needs to be that long to grasp the whole meaning of teh poem.
4 Answers
- ?Lv 41 decade agoFavorite Answer
I love your poem, unlike some of the others I didn't find it too long (course I have an attention span of more than 30 seconds too) I'm not sure the Knight actually understood the poem correctly. What I got from this poem was an almost abstract picture of Jesus as the saviour who died to save the people of this world who are portrayed as the crops he sowed in the field. I could be way off base but either way a very good write =D
Edit: lol, the knight deleted his answer and now I look like an idiot!
- ?Lv 41 decade ago
Its a good poem but a bit long to me. You have good words and good thoughts in this poem. Congratulations on writing poetry. Post more to let us read once in awhile. You do have talent but just needs some more work. You do have talent.
- Anonymous1 decade ago
VERY GOOD! but don't you think its a bit too long?