Poll: Why is it that when someone dies, people suddenly start caring about them?

This is extremely common behaviour. I think it is deeply engrained in human nature that when someone dies, you do not say things like "I never liked him anyway", or "Good riddance". Even the Romans had an expression "De mortuis nil nisi bonum" (Say nothing but good of the dead).

I think someone's death reminds us suddenly of our own mortality, particularly if the person died before their time. In these circumstances, probably some deeply rooted superstition prevents us saying "I'm glad he's dead". It might be thought: if it can happen to someone else, and we are openly gloating about it, so to speak, then it can happen to us, too! So most of us subconsciously indulge in a little harmless propitiation of the "powers that be", and speak kindly of the deceased.

Would you have been happier if all of your family members went up to her parents at her funeral to tell them how glad they were that she died and that she didn't deserve to live anyway? I think not!

There is such a thing as forgiveness you know, and some people may have felt this was a good time to forgive her for any way they thought she had wronged them.

Also with families a lot of stuff gets blown out of all proportion, nobody ever wants to back down and they all end up holding grudges over nothing. Death brings things back down to size and makes them realise that what they had thought was not necessarily the be all and end all they had thought it was when that person was alive.

Death also makes people want to reinforce the good memories and not the bad ones and so the good ones are what they think of most.

Well as disagreeable as a person may have been in life, most of us feel bad if they died. I mean there are certain politicians out there whom I wish a speedy return to private life, but do I wish them dead? No. If they died and I was required to attend their funeral, I probably would not feel a great loss, but sometimes in such situations you need to put on a sad face and express your condolences with the surviving people who actually did care about the person. You need to suppress your natural high spirits and joyfulness at such times too. This is usually not the time to make a clean breast of your actual feelings about the person. And besides, the person is dead, no more. There is no point in being angry with the person or angry about them, since there is nothing more that you can do or say to change the person who's dead.

Yes, this happens everywhere. When someone who is not well liked or is labeled by others as being an undesirable person and that person dies (such as your cousin) then others start to feel a little guilty for the treatment or the label they had given to that person. They are probably taking into consideration their own mortality and would hope that when that time comes, others are going to be saying good things about them. Their changed opinions of that person are merely their way of feeling badly for treatment which probably shouldn't have been so harshly once they have thought about it.

That happened to princess di, look at the way they tore her apart.in the tabloids. Then a huge million dollar funaerl. All those ppl buying the tabs crying before their tvs. .. sometimes they can think it. Someone mean died on me and my thoughts were good bc they were mean but for the sake of others I never said a bad word.

In African shona tradition it is considered very very mean to speak ill of the dead. This is because A. they can no longer defend themselves, b. He without sin cast the first stone C. If they are able to hear you malign their character in the spirit realm they may cook up some evil for you just to fix you d. its a way of moulding kids characters - ususlly this person dies before kids can know that the person was bad

So its not just hypocrisy

I think people act like they care out of their own guilt. They feel guilty because they talked bad about that family member. Now that the family member is gone. Others feel guilty, because they couldn't make things right. As a result, it's to late. Or, the family member is putting on a show to make good appearances. That way, they look like the good guy to others. I am sorry about you cousin.

It's normal we humans mostly start caring when we don't have that thing/person around...it's mostly due to craving for that thing or the fact that,that person will never come back.

they are fools, they jus wanna look good.u wanna care for her then you show it and if you dont wanna dont bother thinking about it

I think its superstition. They feel if they say how they feel, they think they will die next.