Inspired by Rayven and RB I wrote a poem. What do you think of it?

The questioning soldier always gets a nod from me. That's why they have stockades and brigs, ya' know...and locking a poet in a cage...well, somebody's always careless with the latch, huh?

I enjoy bein' inspiration; thank you for the nod.

And Michael, I write 'bout my life, which focus is on God.

And I, too, enjoy this more civilized repartee;

was afraid we were headin' to a need for referee.

But sounder minds again prevail, and peace, once more, does reign,

until some misspoke word in haste stirs up the pot again!

MWWOOOOHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

As for the write, very much enjoyed, except I agree with its being just a wee sparse, though I feel each "narrator" contributes to the overall feel myself, even the prayer book. I think all teh stanzas were delightfully succinct, except S2, which, perhaps due to the venue, seems to be such fertile ground for huge expansion!

As for your first additional detail, it does read quite consitent with your reply to one of my psots from yesterday about bein' a believer, but all things in moderation essentially! Don't recall the precise quote.

Write on...an' t'anks again!

The poem does a lot right. It gets itself out of the way, to give the reader time to mull over the propositions. It presents, without judging (or at least, without judging much). It shows that one can use very plain language to say rather surprising things.

Three of your speakers are persons, one an inanimate object. I don't say poems shouldn't have such roughnesses - like Byron, I agree that the apparent stumble can be the making of a poem. But when a poem does something plain odd, I prefer to have at least a notion of where the poet is going with that - here, I haven't a clue.

I'm not really sure we need to be told who says these three things at all. I have a strong suspicion that not one of these triplets actually needs its third line. (You are limiting the applicability of your sentences - but why?).

So, I liked it - quite a bit in fact.

I'm not quite sure it is finished yet.

Interesting points to consider and quite frankly debate, except for your ending stanza. I understand your thoughts about a 'finished' poem but to me, the final destination of a poet is the body of work he or she leaves. Everything else is a journey along the way. As to the poem becoming you, isn't it you already, you who penned it?

But the overall beauty which your poem maybe inadvertantly addresses, is that we all view differently, except of course the Creator... he is a lot more rigid!

Insipidations

Close Cover Before Striking

Ease applicator into place

use only as directed

avoid hands eyes and face

Void where prohibited

All purchases are final

write the words of others

but copyright them in denial.

God says "Stop Speaking For Me."

[One does not have to agree with quotes.]

I think I've been on AY too much to-day (answering Q in Words and Wordplay) and now me 'ead 'urts.

I cannot formulate any sensible response to this, but I thought you might like to know that I did read it and I did try to do so!

Ray loves writing about God.....what a guy.

Well the poem, it's rather sparse and seems a tad undeveloped to me Elaine. Content is good, but perhaps needs a bit of fleshing out.

I like it Elaine.

It is very thought provoking and well put together.

Good Luck.

Best Wishes.

Mars Mission. (Earth).

14th Year Psychology Student.

4th Year Hypnotism Student.

4th Year Music Composition Student.

32 Years Qualified Automotive Technician.

I 'am that I am ' Like it or lump it lol

I agree with the creator