Is 15 years old too early for sex if i FEEL ready enough?

Hi Itzkissa,

So... you're a soon-to-be-ex-virgin at age 15. Great! Have a super time together.

Advice? Before giving Mr. BF your virginity... I'd suggest that you drink lots of water.

Why? Because you can expect to be shedding a bucketload of tears from the emotional trauma after your heart and soul get trampled in the near future. Sex and sexual play activities will only keep a horny teenage BF around long enough for him to get bored, or for you to get pregnant... and then he'll disappear. Even under ideal circumstances... the odds are about 99% against the BF of a teenage girl actually ending up as her husband.

Assuming that he'll use protection... keep in mind that people who claim that birth control is 100% reliable are sometimes later called "parents".

Seriously, it's too soon for you to be having sex. What does “too soon” mean? Anytime you have sex, if you and your partner are not ready to become parents and support the child that might be created... then it’s “too soon”.

Even birds take the time to build a nest before mating, getting pregnant, and raising their young. Too bad more humans don’t do that!

If you decide to have sex before you can raise a child... then you're dumber than a bird.

If your friends or classmates all seem to be having sex and are suggesting that you should be doing the same... don't listen to the counsel of people who are dumber than a bird.

The typical arguments of "I think I'm ready" or "I'm horny" or "He's horny" or "We love each other" or "Everyone is doing it" are not reliable measurements of being emotionally prepared for sex.

Pre-marital sex is a bad idea for young ladies... in my humble opinion. Why?

- Because there are numerous other emotional and moral issues that far outweigh a few minutes of pleasure or satisfying your curiosity or trying to please a selfish & horny BF... such as love, loyalty, honesty, maturity, commitment, dignity, responsibility, mutual respect, and marriage.

If a young girl does not handle her virginity properly... some of the negative feelings and issues might include shame, sneaking around, guilt, abuse, being taken advantage of by a smooth player, an unwanted pregnancy, catching an STD, and heartbreak. Being abandoned by a guy after her virginity is taken... by a guy who lied and claimed that he loved her... would not be a positive experience for any young lady.

Youthful females need to be very careful with their virginity. Why?

- Because they are at risk for becoming pregnant.

- Because they are at risk for catching an STD.

- Because young females tend to equate love with sex (translation - their get their heart trampled), while most young guys don't (translation - they simply say "See ya later!").

Assuming that a teenage lady loses her virginity early, there are often serious emotional repercussions. The circumstances of an early "First Time" can have a lasting effect of how the rest of her life will unfold. Why?

- Because even if a young lady believes that she and her BF are in love... she usually subconsciously knows that odds are probably 99% against him ultimately becoming her husband... and finds out for certain when they break up.

- Because knowing that her parents probably still think that she's a virgin, and how hurt and ashamed they would feel if they knew the truth... especially her Dad if she has one.

- Because she probably has a fear of getting pregnant (there is no such thing as "safe sex").

- Because her childhood innocence is officially gone forever... with no vows, no fanfare, no formal planning, no celebrations, no announcements, no wedding dress, no bridesmaids, no romantic hotel suite, no "just married" signs, no approval from her family, no congratulations from his family, no diamond ring for her, no gold wedding band for him, no blessings from a church pastor... and no driving off on her honeymoon into a "new life" with a loving and proud husband.

- Because losing her virginity based on nothing except the feeling "Gee, I loved him and thought I was ready..." often makes her realize that feelings are frequently not the best foundation for making wise decisions.

- Because afterwards, she will probably wish that her BF was stronger or smarter or less horny, and would have suggested to her "Hey, maybe we shouldn't do this right now..."

- Because her BF will be an unconvicted felon if she's under the legal age of consent (charge = statutory rape)

- Because if the males in her family (Dad, brother, uncle, grandpa?) found out, they would probably want to punch her BF multiple times.

- Because wearing a white wedding dress on her wedding day will be a lie, since she's no longer a virgin.

- Because the loss of virginity at a young age frequently leads to multiple partners before she even becomes a legal adult.

Easiest way to protect your tender heart and your precious body?

- Keep your panties on until you get married. That'll eliminate 99% of the creeps, losers, and players... and mistakes of passion... which will make your life much happier and simpler in the long run.

It doesn't matter if some of your friends and schoolmates are losing their virginity... if they're letting guys use their bodies, then they're playing with fire. People who like to play around with fire frequently get seriously burned (heartache, pregnancy, STD's, loss of respect, angry parents...).

FYI, my wife and I were both virgins when we got married in our mid-twenties. No regrets.

Was everything immediately and completely perfect? Not exactly, but since we kept ourselves pure for each other... there wasn't any excess emotional baggage, haunting memories, shame, or diseases. God has since blessed us with a wonderful family and a happy life together.

So, want some more free advice? OK.

Keep in mind that the odds are probably about 99% against a teenage BF actually ending up as your husband. Sorry!

You need to be cautious while dating and having a BF. Why?

- Because lots of teenage guys tend to be frogs… not princes.

- Because teenage guys will typically want to go way past kissing if the girl allows it.

- Because many teenage girls are simply too vulnerable, too impulsive, and too emotional.

- Because lots of teenage girls frequently have poor judgment.

- Because teenage guys are typically only interested in what's in a young girl's panties.

- Because teenage guys often don't care about a girl's feelings.

- Because the types of teenage guys who are bold enough to be dating are frequently focused solely on satisfying their own selfish desires.

- Because after the inevitable break-up, a teenage girl will likely feel as though her world has collapsed.

- Because any older guy who would date a young and vulnerable teenage girl is a creep.

Exactly how do you keep a guy interested in you? Just be nice, pleasant, and friendly. Don't act like a sl*t, or you'll only succeed in attracting complete jerks who will then proceed to wreck your life... and make your parents really mad at both you and the jerk you've hooked up with.

Don't worry about losing some guys as BF's because they want sex, and they leave if you don't supply it to them. Guys who dump a girl over sex are showing their true colors. Decent and honorable guys will appreciate a virgin's values and morals.

Young guys and girls are unpredictable... including you. Don't get too wrapped up over who likes who, because the next day it could be completely switched around.

Watch out for those handsome players or creeps who might pretend to like you, because you could easily fall for their phony attention and smooth lines of crap. Beware - they'll use your body and then dump you like a sack of potatoes.

Don't expect too much from a teenage BF. Statistically, at your age it won't last anyway... so just enjoy spending time with him and have some innocent fun together. Don't be too dramatic, and don't be clingy. Don't over-analyze him too much.

No matter what, don't date any older adult guys who pretend to be interested in you. They're even worse than players your own age... and like the players they'll only be interested in one thing... and it won't be your mind.

Don't make too many stupid decisions, don't date jerks, don't drink booze or take drugs, don't have friends who drink or take drugs, listen to your Mom and Dad, read the Bible (the Gospel of John is a good place to start), and then everything will turn out fine.

Assuming that you ignore good advice and start screwing your BF... here's what will probably happen: you'll discover that it wasn't nearly as neat as you thought it would be, that whatever is missing from your life will still be missing, that your BF won't be around for the long haul, that you'll have numerous sexual partners after your BF dumps you, and that you'll be pregnant or have an STD within 3 years. How does that sound?

But good luck anyway, Itzkissa!

Signed, PC

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Just be careful. So many young people "feel" ready for sex but after their first encounter they still end up regretting it. Sex is more than just a physical act, it has emotional aspects that you won't know about until you actually have sex.

It sounds like you have given it some thought, but wouldn't you much rather share your first sexual experience with someone you really loved and saw a future with? It makes the whole experience much more enjoyable. Many times people are in a hurry to have sex because they think they are missing out on something, only to be disappointed in the first sexual experience. A great first sexual experience is worth waiting for and cannot be rushed!

You also need to think about the possible consequences....what happens if your method of birth control fails and you get pregnant? You already said you don't see a future with this guy. Then what?

I can't tell you whether it's OK for you to have sex or not. I can tell you that a good friend of mine had sex at 14. At the time, she seemed OK with it. Years later she told me she wished she had waited. Just really think it through before you do it.

Okay first no one should be forcing you to have sex ever!! And it's your body if you really want to have sex be ready for the consqences like getting pregnant or STD's if you seriously thinking about having sex think again, wait a little longer so you know the guy wont leave you.. Society will not look down what you and this guy do is your business no one else should know, sex is normal and common for people who are ready for A baby or STD's so good luck..

Even if you use protection, you could become pregnant. You would not be the first or the last. Are you prepared to have a child or are you prepared to kill one, or to give it up for adoption. Those are the choices. If you really love this boy, are you going to marry at fifteen and sixteen respectively, or are you going to have to continue to be children in your parents' homes while trying to raise a child who had every right to have responsible parents not children to raise it.

It is normal to want to have sex at your age with a boy you care about, but it is not right because of the possible consequences. No birth control is 100%, and saying that it won't happen to me does not mean it will not happen.

If you don't want to be with him forever, you should not risk having a child with him! That child will bind you to him forever because the child will have a right to know both his parents...unless you deny it that right through adoption or kill it. Don't let semantics fool you either, fetus means unborn child. You can do as you wish, but those are the choices: raise it although you do not have the education or finances to do so, give it away or kill it.

no society doesnt look down on it. it actually encourages having sex really early on. also no matter how much you think you love this guy he is only driven by one thing. his penis. you need to keep an open mind about how long you will or will not be dating him. you wont be with him forever. i promise you. perhaps all through high school but not in college. but before you have sex why dont you do it on your 1 years anniversary to make a bit more special. learn how to use a condom correctly. theres a little trick to it, you dont just slide it down his penis. or get on birth control. if he ever tries to tell you that pulling out works, or having any type of unprotected sex in the water or anywhere at any time then you know he doesnt care about you but he only cares about his own pleasure. just be safe. dont be another stupid girl who ends up getting pregnant.

15 Year Girls Sex

11 months is showing you are committed to a relationship, and you seem reasonably mature. I say go for it, but obviously use protection. Nearly 16 is pretty close to 16, and from the sound of the question you are mature enough. But only you can decide that for yourself in the end.

it depends on how you feel. Do you want to give it up to someone you think you might spend the rest of your life with; someone you truly love? Or do you wanna bang any guy you date. It's up to youuu. Just remember, once you lose it you can never get it backk.

if you love him you should totally do it, ONLY if you love him. I had the same experience with my girlfriend. We got together when she was fifteen and i was sixteen, and we did end up making love about 8 months into the relationship. And to this day, neither of us regrets it. But it will be a memory you have for the rest of your life, so make it count ;)

If one of your parents found out, it could be classified as consentual rape, which is illegal. But if you do, remember to use a condom

You seem mature enough for me, I say go for it but just make sure you understand and know what the responsibilities are and please use protection.