I think my mom has a gambling problem and I really need help?

It's not your problem. It's your dad's.

If your mother is addicted to gambling and getting into financial trouble, that will be your father's problem -- and he should be the one to confront her. It sounds like he's scared to, but he needs to know what's going on. He may want to separate their finances and keep a closer eye on her spending, or they could both find themselves in bankruptcy court, if it's as bad as you fear. If there is any question, he should take over the finances until he is sure they are OK. If he doesn't, and she is actually spending a lot more than she admits, he could be working those longer hours for nothing. They could still lose the house. He needs to find out how bad things are. The fox should not be assigned to guard the chickens.

The thing is that most addicts will lie, cheat and steal to keep their addiction going. That includes gamblers. So you (or your dad or anyone) cannot just ask you mom how much she's losing, how much she's spending, how she's doing. She would tell you pretty much the same thing if she is an addict as she would if she is just having a little inexpensive fun with pals. She might even believe it.

Gamblers (and other addicts) lie to themselves a lot. Basically, they only stop denying the problem when their life is disrupted sufficiently that it scares them. This is called "hitting rock bottom" -- but rock bottom is different for each person. One person can hit rock bottom when they have spent this month's rent money. Another will not hit rock bottom despite living in garbage bins with rats.

If you feel you must intervene, ask your mom to sit down with you at the Gamblers Anonymous website and ask herself the 20 questions. http://www.gamblersanonymous.org/20questions.html Beg her to be honest with herself about this -- she doesn't have to tell you her answers but she should answer for herself. Do mention how scared you are about this.

In the meantime, start preparing to move out. Or contribute towards the rent and utilities. Because your dad may need the help if your mom has, indeed, gone off the deep end and put them in financial danger. (And your sister may need alternate wedding plans.)

One comment about you - WHY are you expecting your mother to do your laundry?!?

If you've got to wear a dirty uniform, that's YOUR fault!

As for your worrying about your mother, I agree with you. I think you DO have something to worry about. Still, your dad is fully aware of what is going on, so that should give you less cause to worry. It is NOT up to you to fix this problem. This is a problem mostly for dad. He needs to decide when "enough is enough". If he is giving her part of his money to spend, then he should cut her off. How is it that your mother is getting a hold of that $20,000 if it's supposed to go for the wedding and bills? If your father has given your mother access to this money, then he should be keeping close tabs on it.

Keep an open dialogue with your father about this issue. Encourage him to not let your mom get out of control, and encourage him to keep tabs on all the money.

Honestly, I think the best way is to burst out in tears and show her how you feel. Nothing is stronger than mother-child relationship. Even if she acts like she doesn't care, she will sit down one night and think heavily on it and possibly change. Best of luck :/

find a gambling anonymous meeting in ur area. they could help u. they can probably give u pmphlets and things. if anything u could print some off from online.

Maybe...

Have you ever seen your mom gambling?