im 17 and now may be my only chance to have a child of my own?

Hi. I'm sorry you're going through this. I lost my right ovary to a cyst when I was 16, and half my left ovary to a cancerous tumor when I was 19, and then finally they were both gone. So I've been there, done that.

First of all, is there any reason to think that you'll keep getting cysts like this? Cysts are fairly common, and some might have more of a tendency to them than others, but you shouldn't be giving up the farm at the first sign of trouble. You have no idea what a world of awful you're in for if you get both of your ovaries removed. It's worth a fight to keep them! And actually, I don't even think much of a fight will be necessary to keep them. There are ways to reduce the possibility that you'll develop cysts in future. For example, birth control pills suppress ovarian activity. That might be a very good option for you to do. It will reduce chances of new cysts and also ease your mind so you don't have to worry about getting cysts again, most likely.

As for hysterectomy--that word literally means removal of uterus. You wouldn't get your uterus removed because there's nothing wrong with it. What you're thinking about is removal of both of your ovaries, which is called a bilateral oophorectomy. With a uterus still, you could carry a fetus in later years, but the egg would come from someone else. But the real problem with this isn't that you couldn't have children, it's that being thrown into surgical menopause is pretty awful, especially at your young age. You are picturing the positives--an end to the pain of the cyst--but in reality you'd open yourself up to all kinds of new and irreversible problems, as well as a shorter life span that statistically speaking accompanies such early surgical menopause. You would have to take artificial hormones, but they are never as good as the human body's own hormones, so you might get all the symptoms of menopause, like depression as a direct result of the hormones, osteoporosis, dry skin, premature aging, lack of sexual pleasure and painful sex, increased risk of Alzheimer's and Parkinson's disease, hot flashes and night sweats, insomnia, hair loss, and fatigue.

The suggestions people have made that you freeze eggs is not really possible right now. They haven't really perfected egg freezing so eggs don't survive well--it's still experimental. They can freeze embryos, if you know someone whose sperm you can use. Also, they can freeze your removed ovary, then implant it back in your body at a later date. That's still experimental though, too. You'd be much better advised to search out a skilled fertility specialist surgeon who can remove your cyst yet retain your healthy ovarian tissue, so that you may continue to be fertile for years to come.

Do I think it's selfish to have a baby now? Well, let's avoid a heavily burdened word like selfish, but I'd say it's a bad decision. You'd be having the baby in an unstable situation when you are immature and it is doubtful you are ready for parenthood. I think it's better to wait until you feel you will be the best parent you can be. Right now, you're just doing it so you will have a baby that is genetically related to you, not so that you can provide a baby with the best home you can make. Even if you do need to get both ovaries out, with your uterus you can still experience pregnancy and childbirth, just not with a child with your genes. Is it so overwhelmingly important to have a child with your genes that you'd throw away all the other considerations? And isn't it better to try these things I have suggested (going on the pill and finding highly skilled fertility surgeon) than to immediately try for a baby?

Good luck!

Having eggs frozen would definitely be a good road to take. Doctors try not to perform hysterectomy's unless they're completely necessary nowadays, so it's more likely that they'll remove both of your ovaries but keep your uterus in. If this is what they do, you could probably have the eggs fertilised and implanted into your uterus later down the track, but if they do go with a full hysterectomy then - as the last person to answer said - you could have them put in a surrogate.

Because you're not in a relationship at the moment, you probably shouldn't have a baby now. Although you have very strong and supportive people around you, you have to think about the child. While many children grow up to be perfectly good people not knowing their fathers (whether it be through deceit on the mothers' part, abandonment or because they were conceived via sperm donor) wouldn't you like to give your child the opportunity to have two loving parents? Right now, you'll probably not be able to find someone, especially your age, that wants a baby and is willing to support you and the child. Going through a sperm bank or something is still a feasible option, but given the opportunity do you not think it'd be much better for everyone to be able to have frozen eggs fertilised and implanted later down the track when you're in a relationship where you and your partner are ready to have children?

Sorry that was rambly and jumpy - but hope that helps you a little! Good luck with making your decision and your impending surgery!

First off, I'm sorry for what you're going through, especially at such a young age. It's completely natural to want the chance to be a mother, and if this is something that's important to you in life, I can understand how heartbreaking it would be to have that option taken away. I don't believe it's necessarily selfish to bring a child into the world unconventionally - I believe it's selfish to bring a child into the world without wanting it, or without having the means or desire to support it. However this is a decision you're going to have to think about very carefully. A lot of people here have outlined medical options, but I have no knowledge of this so I'm not going to pretend to know what is and isn't possible for you. I would say not to base your decision completely off of any answer you're given on here. I don't imagine many of these responses come from people with a medical background, therefore they might not be true, or they might only be partially true. I would definitely have a chat with a trained doctor who can tell you exactly what your options are.

You are obviously very young to have a baby, but you wouldn't be the first person of your age. Age does not determine how good a parent you'll be. I think a lot of people have already said it - what do YOU want? Do you know what you'd be getting yourself into? Would you be able to support and provide for a baby? Would you be physically able to care for the baby with your condition, and maybe most importantly, would your health or the health of your baby's be compromised? Or, could you just be freaking out at the prospect of not having that option, that you might be trying to fool yourself into thinking you're ready before you really are? I think these are all factors you need to take into account and discuss with a professional, if this is something you're seriously considering.

Don't rush into any quick decisions out of fear or urgency. This is a decision which will affect the rest of your life, so talk to someone who can help, and be completely sure whatever you decide is for the right reasons, because either way, once the decision is made, it's irreversible.

If you do decide you want a baby, then provided you know what's involved, you're emotionally and financially able, and it's not going to impact on your health - then don't let people judge you for it. Your friends and family should be understanding, and support you no matter what. Yes, it's not ideal to have a baby in your teens - unmarried and single - and I'm not going to say that it will be easy for you. But life isn't ideal - as you well know. Again - your age and marrital status doesn't affect your ability to love and protect that child. Have a talk with your doctor, and get all the facts, then make your decision. A lot of people will try to tell you it's 'morally wrong', but a lot of people haven't been faced with a hysterectomy at 17.

First off im sorry. I think you should go with what you feel. And if evryone really loves you they will not judge you. It sounds like you have a wonderful support system so i say go for it. But really it depends on what you want. If you know this is what you want i would do it. If its the only chance to have a baby i would because every girl wants a baby. Thats most girls goal in life is to be a Mom and i think you would make a great Mom considering all the things you have been through so far. Sure you are young but age doesnt determine how great of a Mother you will be. You sound like you are a very very strong girl and i think you should do it if its what you want. And if people judge you for it i say those people are not friends and obviously do not understand and are not people that should be around you.

I hope everything goes well with you and if you choose to become a Mommy im sure you will be an amazing one:)

its something youd need to think about carefully if youre ready and can provide for a baby its noones business and noone has the right to judge you. ive got pcos and lots of cysts on my ovarys so i know how scary it is for you, im pregnant with my second baby so theres hope for you too. if you hav your mums support then the decision is now down to you. what do the doctors suggest? sometimes it can be dangerous so dont consider anything without their say so as it may danger your health even more. you could always have some eggs frozen so you can still have babies of your own one day when youre in a relatinship. it wouldnt be fair to just get pregnant by anyone. only you can decide but make sure its the right choice. good luck.

well you said that your thought was a hysterectomy.

did your doctor even suggest that?

if it was my only chance in the world by a longshot to have a child i would probably do it. not that i've been in that position. you need to think of the man. you can't just use him as a sperm donor. what would your strong christian friends say about that? it would really help if you were already in a long term relationship. i don't know what guy would just say YEAH let's have a baby!!

You can have egg's frozen, but also if you don't have a child of your own you can still adopt a baby, you wouldn't want to bring a child into the world with no father, and as your 17 you wont have a really decent job either. i think you should freeze your eggs and wait a few years till your with someone :)

first of all im really sorry that you are going through this but you need to think of what you would be getting yourself into by wanting a child this early because it is really hard work (have you watched 16 and pregnant!!!)

also think of what the child would need, do you have a job?, and most of all, would you be ready for the commitment of bringing up a child as your own at 17 years old!!!

you have to think to yourself, do i want this? and are you only thinking about having a baby AT THIS AGE because you might not be able to have one in later future?

think of the child too, he/she would need a father, as you are not in a relationship at the moment, who ever inpregnates you would probably not be there for you or the baby in the future and are you expecting to have sex with this random guy just to have a baby?

i think that having a baby now is the wrong decision but that is just my self opinion but there is plenty of time to think of options like addoption etc when you are a bit older, for now, you are only seventeen, there are still PLENTY of years of fun and partying left for you untill you should be thinking of having a baby because trust me, ITS EXTREMELY HARD WORK!!!

i hope this edvice helped you babe and good luck for whatever route you decide to take.

luv erin.XXxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

tbh if you want to have a baby now and you know that you would be able to care and provide for it and you have support from your family, and close friends, who cares about what other people think, they dont know what is going on in your life so tell them to F off :)

freezing your eggs is one option for the future when you want more kids. also theres nothing wrong with being a young mum

do what your heart tells you,

i wish you all the luck in the world, i'm sure you'd make an amazing mum :)

good luck x x

I would say he's, especially with that support from your mum, but on the other hand.. Would pregnancy make what your going through harder / worse?? And would you be able to take care of it with your health? I'm not exactly sure what you're going through, but I want to bring up some important thoughts before I just say yes.

& also, if you do chose to concieve, make sure you don't do it with just any guy as to just use him. Since you're not in a relationship, do you have any good guy friends that might be willing to help you out?

If youve thought about all this, & still want to, GO FOR IT GIRL!!

Good luck!!

<3