Do you think I am inconsiderate?

You are right because they need to respect their mother that cooked and cleaned for them all these years! Your post made me cry and and they are so inconsiderate! I wish I had a mother at home to make those wonderful meals and grandma too! to wake up to home made potatoes and eggs would be a dream! Gravy and buscuits and pork chops! Home made soup and biscuits! Only a mom knows how to cook these things! Pancakes with blueberries and real maple syrup with bacon or sausage! Good sandwiches in their lunchboxes with a little twinkie and a bag of chips and orange and apple! Chocolate milk money with crackers! what is wrong with mothers and fathers these days?

First, it is not a healthy relationship when a man has his mother living with him and his wife. You need to get a life of your own and stop trying to live as if you are in charge . YOU ARE NOT!!! You need to let them feel the responsibility of being grown up. Move out and find your own way in the world. You are taking as much advantage of them as they are of you. You should not be that close to any of this. MOVE OUT and find you own place. Let them manage their own affairs and stop trying to make it seem that you do so much and they do very little. If you would stop doing what is essentially their responsibility to do, you might find that they would be less inclined to think that you are inconsiderate. Your daughters-in-law are right! You need to get out of the way and let then be responsible for their own affairs. Being family does not give you the right to say what ever you feel like saying nor does it give you the right to say anything to anybody. It is in appropriate and in poor taste. These are not children, they are grown and do not need your input into their affairs. Start taking care of your own needs and leave them to themselves.

my brothers are exactly as you described, my mum had to keep asking these boys in their early 20s to do jobs, she would give them a list of things to do like empty the bins and clean up after breakfast and they wouldn't even do that.

so you know what she did? she told them that they either start contributing to the up keep of the house or they start paying the maid. you don't get to live in a hotel for free so you don't get to live in her house and treat her like a maid for free. and she didn't mean do the jobs i give you, she meant do those if i ask you to do something but also use your own initiative and take a look around and ask yourself each day what you can do to help the family and keep the house clean. if not, you can pay to live here and pay for the maid. think about how much they earn and then pick a figure. if they already pay rent then they can pay for the maid on top of that and bump up the amount they give you.

you have every right to say something, they can't just walk all over you! if you don't teach them to respect you then they will never respect anyone

no but look like you are running a gestapo concentration camp

I agree about to have the right to say what you think

but you should allow the people around you to do the same

u talk about responsibility where is your husband?

nvm don't answer to that

Yes, I do think you are inconsiderate.

Your two sons are married now. They are no longer part of your nest. You really haven't thought this one through.

They may be your children, but they are grown up. They can do what they like.

If you want to martyr yourself by doing everything, so be it.

Your children are adults.

They can do and say what they want.

Stop doing things for them if you don't want to do it.

If something needs to get done ?

They are adults - they can do it.

Peace.

It doesn't sound like you are. Don't go and stay with them if they are taking advantage. Their lives,let them get on with it.............