How should I tell him?

i was blocked from this forum for giving advice. how messed up is that?

Regarding your question, if he's already ok with it, just tell him that you're going to do it. what is there to discuss? It seems like you've already had the conversation with him.

Tell him that if your living, healthy baby that your having is a boy that you'll be murdering it? I'm sorry I'm all for prochoice but there is a cut off point, and at the anatomy scan performed at 20 weeks is too far into a pregnancy. You're half way done already. I doubt you could even find a doctor to perform an abortion that far gone. That is such a selfish reason to abort just because of gender. There is no "best way" to tell someone this. If you never wanted a boy to begin with you should NOT have gotten pregnant or at least used proper birth control, you know your odds are always 50/50 and if you can't accept a boy baby, then you've got major problems.

It's the hard truth, deal with it! If you already know he doesn't have a problem, then go for it you've already answered your question. And actually there is nothing wrong with a boy, most boys are sweet mommy boys and unlike girls who grow up to be expensive, spoiled and occasionally slutty and pregnant at 16.

First of all if you live in the U.S. that's illegal.(getting an abortion without medical cause after 12-14 weeks; mental instability of the mother is NOT a medical reason)

Second of all the first child you lost would NOT be the same as any other child you carried. I'm sorry you lost her, but think about this clearly. Why is adoption not an option? I don't think you're ready to have ANY children, much less this one. If it turns out to be a boy they will NOT abort just because of the sex.

Please seek emotional and psychological help, this is NOT a normal way of thinking or behaving.

EDIT Why do you feel adoption isn't possible? None of this makes any sense! If abortion AND adoption are not on the table, just what do you plan to do about all this? I call troll, reported!

** Looking at your profile it says you've had an abortion already. was that before or after this MISCARRIED baby? Are you just trying to replace the one you gave up already?

If he already knows your plan, then you simply say "It's a boy, I'm making an appointment." There is no such thing as a polite or good sounding way to tell him you are having an abortion.

If your reasons are so justified, I strongly suggest you refrain from getting pregnant in the future-- It's simply not fair to the baby at that point, regardless of your reasons. If you KNOW you don't want it if it's a boy, then the least you could do for the baby boys who will be aborted is give up the dream or privilege of having a girl. Period.

No matter what you've conceived, that baby isn't the same child you lost through miscarriage. Nothing will bring back the child that you lost. You really need to get help about moving on, so you can have a healthy pregnancy. And I agree with the other users, I doubt there is a doctor out there who will perform such a late term abortion just because you want a girl.

You really need to face the problems you're having.

im sorry you had a miscarriage... but being pregnant again with a girl,won't bring that baby back. so your devastated about losing one pregnancy,but ok with murdering your child if its a boy. if your far enough along in your pregnancy that you can tell the sex of the child,then yes,it is murder. I know you didn't ask this question to get opinions on abortion. but this is messed up! you need to go to some councilimg to deal with your first loss. it has obviously affected you. why would you choose to do something like this? the baby has nothing to do with your first one that you lost. you cannot replace that child with another one,boy or girl. I really hope you re think this. it wouldn't be your babys fault if he's a boy! thats just nature! im sorry but you need mental help. I hope you seek it.

Wow...on January 4th how far along will you be? Close to 20 weeks?

I mean, if you can have an abortion after seeing your baby looking fully formed, then you have absolutely NO heart. I'm sorry if your reasons are "justifiable" but to me that's just SICK.

I have no idea how you should tell your boyfriend this because this question is just unfathomable to me.

EDIT: If you're too fragile for that, then you shouldn't have gotten pregnant again. That's selfish. If you're carrying a boy, you're going to deny him life because you want a girl? It's tragic that you lost a baby and I'm sorry for that, but that's no excuse to get an abortion because you want another girl.

You seem awfully determined to convince even YOURSELF that this is the right thing to do. You keep responding to almost every answer on here. I think every answer is making a valid point, and you just don't want to hear it because you feel if you deny it quick enough, you'll still have your sick, twisted reason to get an abortion.

ok i don't know anything about your past or the reasons for this, but this is so unfair on your unborn child. i too lost a baby at 39 weeks pregnant and i waited until i sorted my head out before trying for another baby, and i anted anther baby so badly WHATEVER that baby was i was wanting it. not as a replacement cos that NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN. you'll never be able to replace the one you've lost an that's something you've gotta deal with.

can yu not even feel for the baby your carrying if it is a boy. its thriving to live growing everyday, its actually a little person and your gonna abort cos its a boy. hun that's not right the little boy hasn't done anything to you and you going to take its life away. i think you should keep working on your issues cos i don't think you've resolved any of them yet.

Even if you have a girl it wont be the same girl that you lost . since you had a miscarriage you should be happy that you were able to carry another healthy baby, even if it is a BOY . having a healthy baby should be the reason to keep it . maybe if the baby was showing he/she would have a disorder that would prevenit from carrying on a normal life then that would be a "justifiable" reason to abort. I hope you come to the reality of this situation because it will be LIFE CHANGING ,

No doctor is going to abort your pregnancy at 20+ weeks just because you don't want to have a boy. So there will be nothing to tell.

If you do find a clinic willing to do this, your boyfriend will certainly suspect that there is SOMETHING drastically wrong, so he's going to wonder what sort of devastating birth defect was found at the scan and you'll have to either tell him the truth or lie to him.

Im pretty sure you cant abort after 16 weeks or something close to take. And if you make yourself miscarry by takin pills, hitting your stomach, etc the hospital will say it wasnt natural and the police will be involved. Even though it is a fetus you will still be introuble for aborting that is why state laws say you cant abort after a certain amount of weeks. Sorry for ur luck. And as for telling him I really have no clue my hhusband would kill me if I ever abort his child. Thats his flesh and blood.