Spiritually speaking ... What is the better attitude in a marriage?

the first is somewhat selfish, the second somewhat obsessive.

focusing on each other is important, but commitment is most important. commitment to the vows of 'in sickness and in health, til death do we part'. that means commitment to working things out when they get bad. not the consumer mentality of 'oh, well, this isn't working, i think i'll get a different/new one'.

Spiritually speaking, if there wasn't any sex drive, there wouldn't be a marriage in the first place. and if there is a sex drive, then clearly the second. as in the first there is no contribution to cultivating any love.

btw, merry Christmas.

Neither. I am married because I love the person and want to spend the rest of my life with him / her.

Clearly the second. If you try to get happiness from anyone but God, your going to end up very unhappy.

b) although no one can determine the other ones happiness. true joy must come from within.

We are mutually happy cohabiting our lives with each other.