I'm dating a Jehovah witness and I need advice?

Jehovah's Witnesses have the same basic (unwritten) rule that I had with my older children (my youngest aren't anywhere near dating age yet): they don't date people who aren't considered marriage material.

In my case, that meant first and foremost that the person must be someone who confesses Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior.

However, in their case, it is preferably someone who is a baptized Jehovah's Witness. If the person isn't baptized, they should either be an unbaptized publisher who is making progress in the organization or someone who is at least interested in doing a book study with them. If you are not interested in converting, she would be STRONGLY discouraged from dating you (under threat of being disfellowshiped, if she is a baptized Witness). This is a very serious thing for a Witness, because if they are disfellowshiped, they are shunned by the entire congregation, including their own family. This means if a former friend of theirs from the congregation were to pass them in the mall or on the street, they would ignore them completely and would not even speak to them.

I'm in a position now where I occasionally counsel people who have been disfellowshiped from the Watchtower organization or who have left it on their own. Believe me, their stories of being cut off from family (including parents, brothers and sisters, children and grandchildren) would break your heart. I've had several grown men to break down crying in front of me, who admitted that they either contemplated or actually tried to commit suicide. I would strongly encourage you to break it off with her now, because "future problems" is a HUGE understatement.

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Edit: *** w63 7/1 pp. 410-411 What Disfellowshiping Means ***

What kind of offenses are regarded as disfellowshiping offenses? These include persistence in sexual offenses, stealing, lying, dishonest business practices, REBELLION AGAINST JEHOVAH'S ORGANIZATION, slandering, drunkenness, apostasy, teaching of false doctrine and other wrongs.

And what does "Jehovah's organization" advise concerning marriage to "unbelievers"?

*** w92 5/15 p. 12 par. 9 Is Marriage the Only Key to Happiness? ***

It is not surprising that similar restrictions on marrying those not worshiping Jehovah should apply within the Christian congregation. The apostle Paul admonished his fellow believers: “Do not become unevenly yoked with unbelievers. For what fellowship do righteousness and lawlessness have? Or what sharing does light have with darkness? Further, what harmony is there between Christ and Belial? Or what portion does a faithful person have with an unbeliever?” (2 Corinthians 6:14, 15) That counsel applies in various ways and certainly is applicable to marriage. Paul’s explicit instruction to all dedicated servants of Jehovah is that they should consider marrying someone “only if he is in union with the Lord.”

*** w89 11/1 p. 18 par. 3 Do Not Yoke Yourselves With Unbelievers ***

The Bible, though, warns against forming close attachments to unbelievers.

*** w88 11/1 p. 16 par. 7 Is Your Home a Place of Rest and Peace? ***

Realizing this, surely we would not want to disobey Jehovah by marrying an unbeliever and thus robbing ourselves of this spiritual unity that enhances marriage.

*** yp2 chap. 3 p. 34 Is This Person Right for Me? ***

“Do not become unevenly yoked with unbelievers.” That Bible principle, found at 2 Corinthians 6:14, likely makes sense to you. Still, you might find yourself drawn to an unbeliever. Why? Sometimes it’s just physical attraction. “I would always see this girl in gym class,” says a boy named Mark. “She would go out of her way to come up and talk to me. It was not hard for a friendship to develop.”

If you know yourself and have confidence in your spiritual values—and if you’re mature enough not to be ruled by your feelings—you’ll know what you should do. Really, this person—no matter how attractive, charming, or seemingly virtuous—will not enhance your friendship with God.—James 4:4.

Of course, if a romance has developed, ending it won’t be easy—something that a girl named Cindy found out. “I cried every day,” she says. “I thought about the boy constantly, even during Christian meetings. I loved him so much that I thought I would rather die than lose him.” Soon, though, Cindy saw the wisdom of her mother’s counsel against dating an unbeliever. “It’s good that I broke up with him,” she says. “I have every confidence that Jehovah will provide for my needs.”

Going against the advice of the org is considered rebellion against the org, which IS a disfellowshiping offense.

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Jehovah Dating

Hi, I am a soon to be witness. And to answer your question, "Do you think her religion will cause future problems with us?" Yes, there will be problems. It is advised to date within the religion. I know this. It is possible, but not without pain and conflict. If you never get baptized as a witness there will be religious conflicts throughout your life with her. You two believe two different things. Being a Jehovah Witness isn't just a religion, it's a way of life. I don't know if you are wasting your time with her, it really depends on how you feel about the religion and how you feel about her, do you even like it at all? Consider your future children, how will you raise them? I'm not saying you have to convert to be with her or marry her, but you have to allow her thoughts, feelings, and beliefs to be a part of her, you can't take them away. Some witness are spiritually stronger than others. There have been times when females witnesses (I guess because they are weaker in romance) will leave her congregation to be with a worldly mad (non believer), and i'm sure vice versa. But to me, if you love someone you wouldn't want them to walk away from their religion, even if they were catholic. If you have a good solid relationship and nothing is getting in the way then thats great. Please pray about it, and think in terms of the long run. I hope I helped. Also, if she does decide one day to marry you, after dating you (which her congregation should already know about) she will lost all of her privileges in her congregation, meaning she won't be able to comment during meetings, or go out in field service. In time however, she will get them back.

DON'T DO IT. Because she's gonna break up for another reason later on down the line. It could be because her family doesn't accept you or because you don't have a certain status. FYI, status takes years to build in the JW organization. For example, I told one of my ex-gfs I never wanted to be a "Circuit Overseer" which is kinda like a bishop in the catholic church, and I told her I had no desire to be a "Pioneer" again which is someone who spends 70 hours each month preaching door to door out in public. This desire to not be a certain "status" conflicted with her desire for prominence in the organization, so she bailed. Also, even though I was a witness for 20 years and I had some titles (Bethelite, Ministerial Servant, Former Pioneer), her family decided I wasn't good enough because I wasn't an "Elder", and they all wanted and "Elder" for this chick. Plus there were some racial issues. Her family was white, and I'm Mexican. If you join the religion, join it because YOU want to join it. Don't join it for some chick that will flip on you later down the line. You sound young, so I'm assuming this girl is too. I guarantee you she's gonna do this same type of thing again before she turns 25.

Break up with her right away. If she is showing a lot of psychotic behavior run away. This is for your own good. I dated a girl named Mariana Jacobo. She was so nuts out of her ***. She was crazy. She had anxiety, depression and attempted suicide when her past boyfriend cheated on her because of her ongoing condition.

Jehovas witness experience Mental problems, especially at a young age because they are different from the rest.

It's hard for them to follow everything their religion says which leads to mental problems.

They end up hating the whole world by believing everyone is evil and that's why they try to help us.

Google this behavior about JW.

Run away my friend before it's too late.

I she has some mental problems already, leave because if she is in love with you already. It will be too late. Your going to end up getting stocked on.

Girls from JW topically have a Cognative Distortion.

Good luck my friend

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dude you guys are teens. why is she dating you? you're obviously dating her because of fleshly desire and not because of her values (which seem to be lacking in the first place). CRAZY ADVICE HERE but first try to figure out yourself and your purpose in this world besides procreating. and if you don't think there is one besides that, then definitely let her go make the bad choice with another dude. like the other commenter mentioned, how could you trust someone that isn't listening to the commands of Jehovah? i hope that you both will be one day strengthened in your faith of God otherwise....

she must not be serious to be dating at this early age and a non witness. u both r too young and have different beliefs. we live by the bible. we do not have sex before marriage, do drugs, commit crimes. we have high morals. can u support her decision to live like this? when the holidays come around can u deal with her not being there or buying u gifts? as u grow as an adult and consider marriage how will children be raised? being of 2 different religions will definitely cause major problems

I think it is strange that a teenage JW is allowed to date you if you are outside the faith. Is she sneaking around? Ultimately is will come down to a choice between the religion and you. Whether you stay or not depends on how much you like her and how hard you want to fight. It could be tough, but if she leaves it could be to her benefit. Religion is made-up nonesense like santa claus. Would you let her belief in santa ruin your relationship or would you fight?

Pls don't convert for her, you would be doing her a diservice.

From what I know of JWs they tend to like to keep within their community. This is from experience with JWs from my home city, so may not be all JWs, but the ones I knew shunned some of their members for marrying outside the JW community. I would imagine that if her religion is important to her and you're not willing to convert, you might want to reconsider the relationship before things get too serious.