Husband pretty much ruined X-mas for me (not the first time either)?

It is a long hard road to live with an alcoholic until he/she hits bottom and fixes their life. (if it ever happens) so if you are already thinking of getting out i would say get out now.

Since he has been laid off for 2 years and has been like this other person for 2 years I wonder if his self esteem has taken a toll and the drinking is his way of dealing with that. See if he will go over this site dealing with relationships and self esteem and that may help him, or it might help you for that matter. You can also suggest that he try going to one of the temporary employment agencies since many companies today hire only through temp agencies in order to try an employee out before hiring them into the company itself.

once you grow to be a "mixed family contributors" you should make compromises. What we do each and each and every 365 days in my "mixed family contributors" is take turns with eachother's traditions... yet we've performed this from the start... 3 years into the relationship (to me besides) is slightly lengthy to commence replacing traditions. yet when I were you i'd confer with my husband and are available up with something that works for the both actually one of you and the toddlers. Does he have his 7 365 days previous each and every yuletide? or does his son flow at the same time with his mom for the vacation another 365 days? if so per chance beginning "santa's presents" on yuletide morning is something you may do on the years his son is going to his mom's. solid success!

I know you already mentioned that you did this but sit down again with him. Let him know you guys are talking seriously! Let him know how you feel and that what he is doing is hurting you and the relationship. That he either straights up or you are leaving and going to want a divorce because you can not handle it anymore. Do not stress over it honey. Be strong.

Well, then if you grew up in an alcoholic household and he did too, you will recognize the same things happening. He's an alcoholic, and you know it. Time to face facts and quit doing the dance of denial. Of *course* you have stress - but you will have stress no matter what, and the longer you enable him, the worse your stress will be.

And you don't need to wait for him to get help for you to get help. You need Al-Anon. Personally, I would recommend a divorce, but that is just me. I don't have the stamina to stay with an active alcoholic.

Good luck.

I would try a trial separation before automatically taking the large step of divorce.... Yes he has a drinking problem, most of the time alcoholics have to hit rock bottom before the will do anything and loosing you would probably wake him up.... Pray, have faith but defiantly i would ask him to leave...

sorry not in your boat. But what I can offer as a suggetion i'm sure you tried. but i'm telling you anyway.

Sit down with him.. Express your expecations again if you done this already and ask him if he is willing to met those expecations when sobor and drunk. if he has to think about it then stand up and say our the expecations not realistic or do you just not care anymore?

if he can't met your expecations or doesn't even want to try to.. then file. i guess.

but if at all possible he is sick too if he is turning into a drunk grant you it's not like cancer or any other illness. but it does go with his health you should be a supportive wife and make him get help.

Maybe he is genuinely sorry to hurt you but he can't help himself. If you want to preserve your marriage, you will constantly push for treatment. He's gonna fight you through it all, because he can't possibly see where he's wrong, nor where he's headed. Do you think you can be strong enough to hold him up through this? If not, you don't have to let him drag you down with him. Leave him, for your own sanity.

You need to go to Alnon and get the support you need. If he won't quit drinking, and will not go get help, then you either put up and shut up, or quit being his codependent. You tell him he is not sorry for what he does, so not to even say the words. If you are sorry, you don't let it happen again. Tell him you will not be like his mother or your mother and sit quietly by while he kills himself. Then make up you mind what you want and go for it.

Even if he won't be receptive to counseling, you should go on your own, regularly, to discuss your stress and feelings. You may be surprised- after a few sessions he might become interested and consider joining you!