is it cheating?i love my husband...but?

I was in a very similar situation about 6 months ago. I'm 23 and have been married for a year...and like you I had a very close friend that confessed his feelings for me way too late. I used to have feelings for him, and yes I have thought about what it would be like if we were together, but bottom line...I feel like if he wanted to be with me that bad, he should have spoke up before my husband did! He texted me things like that, and NO I don't think that's cheating...HOWEVER it all depends on how you handle it from here. It is very disrespectful to allow someone to speak to you the way your husband should. That's why we got marred right? To be honest, loyal, faithful, and to be true to only our spouse ...to allow someone no matter how good of a "friend" they are to speak to you that way is like a slap in your husbands face..even if he doesn't know. You have to stand up for your husband. If your "Friend" doesn't understand then you will just have to decide..I decided to end the friendship with my friend.

Just think of it the other way around..if it were ur husband and a "friend" of his.

Hope this helps.

You are not cheating by any means and, believe me, I would be the first to imply that you were because I'm a married male whose wife either will not or cannot have intimacy. Thus, I've got an axe to grind. However if you want to use a Judeo-Christian moral calculus on this situation, you, at the very worst, could be enjoying a little ego-boost from the attentions of someone very bent on cheating. Your admirer is coveting you which is bad enough but what accelerates his obvious guilt is that he did not make his feelings known to you before you were married. Therefore, are you attractive because he knows he will not have to suffer the responsibility of making a marital commitment to you? Are you regarded as a possible candidate for an adulterous relationship where he can get his jollies and not have to engage in all the other activities which make a relationship a valid union between two people? In my opinion, regardless of whatever problems you may be having inside of your marriage, you need to dump the "friend", and right quick. Any man that makes romantic advances towards a married woman is a man either trying to commit adultery or fantasizing about it. Sorry to be so puritanical but I know this man. He's me... to an extent. I have fantasies about other women all the time and I'm very wrong to do so. But then again, I'm not telling them I have "feelings" for them and texting them with pet names either. I just have fantasies about telling women that I love them. I feel very guilty about it because I am guilty. He's guiltier. Lose him. And by the way, for all you women out there ready to email me and tell me what a schmuck I am, bare in mind that I do all the cooking, cleaning, make a good paycheck, am polite and serving as all get out, and never complain about not getting "it". I'm a good little doggy. In short, the perfect husband although my "training" took many years. When someone mentions sex these days, I get this sense of confusion -- like seeing a dear old friend and not knowing their name.

Your not cheating but you are most certainly borderline! My fiance and I went through this..he had a "friend" and it ended when I found the texts trying to convince him to leave me. It really hurt once I read everything that he would let her call him baby and talk about why she loved him and how he just went along with it. I knew she was an idiot but never considered her a threat. Your husband deserves to know the truth first off and then you really need to grow up and stop talking to this friend. He will never back off, my fiance still gets the occasion text from her (psycho!) but he just tells me and then deletes it. He decided our relationship of 4 years was more important then some fling.

For better or worse you married your husband and you need to be more committed. Everybody has ups and downs and we all get stressed. It is no excuse in my opinion.

Let me ask you a question, would you be ok with your husband reading your text messages from your friend and your replies back? If the answer is "no", then what you are doing is wrong and you should stop. You should spend your time focusing on your husband, the person you took vows with. If your relationship is not all that you want with your husband, perhaps it is because you are distracted by this friend. Perhaps you and your husband need to spend more time together working on the marriage. It takes work.... but anything worth it usually does take work.

If you are responding to this man's texts then you are encouraging his attentions. But of course you knew that.It is like holding up one hand and saying "stop" while also holding up the other hand and saying"come on". You are playing a dangerous game and that is unfair to both your husband and this "friend".

Most women revisit the idea of what life would be like if they were with the other guy, but that should be just a momentary thought and if that is happening more than once every couple of years, then you are playing with fire and you are headed for trouble.

Elisabeth Rondeau trompée par Daniel Laplante

Daniel Laplante trompe Elisabeth Rondeau

it is wrong. It could be a lotttt worse, but still wrong. Tell your friend that you're married, and he needs to stop talking to you like that. You want to stay friends, but just friends. and if that means taking a break from each other for however long, then you should do it. because you don't want friends to turn into lovers, and then your husband finding out

yes you absolutely are cheating. Just by letting this guy flirt with you, you're already cheating. You should of told this "friend" to back off the second he started calling you baby.

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I think its a form of cheating.. there is many different forms of it.. If your husband was your one and only..another man that is into you would never cross your mind..nor would you even think about him as a "friend".. Not even worth it!