What would you do in this situation?

I think you really need a good think about why are you going back. 10 years is a long time and it is easy to see why you feel like you had no other choice, however old you are 10 years is a big chunk out of your life, maybe that is why you feel you have to go back, not that you don't have any choice (everyone has choice - door closes window opens, life's journey has many cross-roads) its just that that is what you are used to. It is hard to leave a way of life, start afresh, no matter how tough it was. I had to leave someone after 7 years and it killed me for a couple of years, walked around for months in stunned disbelief and I left him!

What I am try to show you that you do have a choice, it just doesn't seem like it now. And if you have always been taken advantage of, never gotten on with his sons etc, then maybe the issue is lack of confidence, them issues tend to leave you winded!

You need to explore your feelings/reasons for thinking you have no choice, can you talk to a counselor, a therapist? or is there a friend you can explore your feelings with, someone who is not basis and can give you good reflection on how you feel.

Also, figure out why you need to stay with someone you don't love and why you think you will hurt them by leaving: is this something they've said to you? Something you feel will happen if you leave, a lot of people who do take on the caring, cleaning role of the family feels that they can't live because... "oh. my god... who will take care of them?" You need to start asking yourself why can't you take care of you, You need to put your feelings first for once. They will cope - they have to - they had 10 years of your life, to get it right and they blew it. 10 years of YOUR life, gone, wasted on cleaning, looking after, picking up. you say 'I'm sick of dealing with it' stay with your gut feeling, sort your feelings out and be confident in YOUR CHOICE! live the life you imagined

Good luck and try to have fun thinking of what a wonderful life you're going to have now, treat yourself, do something you've always wanted to do ;-)

While I may still be in High School, I do know what it's like to spend a long time in a relationship you don't feel anything in. It took me 6 months out of those 2 years to realize that Im still really young and have no need to be tied down by someone I don't have feelings for. Being married can't make it any easier, and you'll be tempted to go back once you leave. It'll be hard to adjust to a new lifestyle that doesn't involve being married or taking care of children. But, you'll really have to rely on your own personal strength. You're still young, and can always find someone better (and no, 30/40 years old is not old, my granpldpa got remarried at 60). I know that my advice isn't really "reliable" as I am so young, but really the situation only has one logical answer. Leave.

If things go deeper than that you need to work through things and not say f**ck it and leave. Seems like kids and everything else in your lifes has taken a toll on your relationship. I have a kid I should know. If you guys spent time alone together just the two of you for a vacation or something, I'm sure the love is still there. Its hard to love someone when there is grudges but it all takes work. At the end of the day if you really tried and he still doesn't want to work at it then I must say you have to leave.

First I want to say I'm sorry about your situation it's very emotionally stressful to have a situation like this in your life and I hope things turn out well for you.I don't think you should stay with him so that someone else won't get hurt, you can't make a huge decision like that for someone else, you have to do it for yourself. I don't think you should divorce/seperate him though...once upon a time you loved this guy and you have to reach down to the good memories you had with him to fuel you while you try to work through these problems your having.I think you should try talking again(at a good time) with him and tell him your concerns but also listen to his.Tell him that you would feel better if you were helped with the chores and be honest in a kind way and tell him you don't feel as close to him as you used to.(maybe you two could go on a date once or week) Once you take his concerns into consideration and try to make things better for him even though your not so crazy about his behavior,he may be encouraged to do the same for you. Another thing you could do is go to marriage/couple counseling and if that is not possible for money reasons or anything else you could try going to marriage/couple counseling at a church...I have been to churches where they had courses for couples and married people and it was cheaper or free.Just keep your head up everything will be alright be positive and "don't take no grief" that's a saying of mine:) I hope everything works out for you!!

I understand how you feel, 10 years aren't just 10 days...yes you have a strong feelings for him, maybe it's not love but something makes you want to stay with him, you guys been thro good and bad things and you can't just throw away 10 years out of nothing

Yes he's acting like a big baby, but trust me sometimes money problems can chage the person, i always see my dad turn into a desperate and a very angry person once we have money problems and honestly that's not his fault because he already know that he have family needs food, clothes and support.....

Listen i know this would be a big move, But i would say if you make a deal with yourself, that you don't have feeling for him anymore but you're not leaving him drawn in bills and problems, once everything is solved you're on your way, and MAYBE your feelings for him would come back..no one knows

In order to have ahealthy relationship both the husband and wife MUST be one hand, if he's a big baby then you can push him to be a man, be serious and tell him that he's a big man now and have responsabilities and you're not excepting this behavior from him if he want to survive, you HAVE to push him, support him and make him understand that a real man must ACT like a real man.

As for your stepsons then you need to show them your red eye, You can't hide or run from your problems,they have to respect you because you're their stepmom and you have to MAKE them respect you even if they like it or not ....

If nothing of the above you did and nothing happened then you have all the rights to leave him forever because obviously no one is giving you any attention

hard as it is you have answered yourself you dont "feel" in love with him anymore to stay with him would be settling for what you are fighting against. being taken advantage of.

you cant stay in that relationship you love him just in a different way, not in a way to sustain the relationship. its called growing apart really. you will end up resenting him if you continue in this. make a clean break go on and enjoy your life.

dont get me wrong we all have days that you describe but as you said its gone way deeper than that hasnt it?

I'm only 18, so I probably have no right answering this, but I feel like I have to put a certain perspective on your situation.

It sounds to me like you're only going back to him because you feel like you have no other options, and it's too late to start over. That's not true. The large amount of time you two have spent together doesn't automatically mean it was meant to be. It took my own grandfather and grandmother 32 years to realize they weren't right for each other. It sounds like you were always disrespected and taken for granted by your own family. You shouldn't feel guilty or selfish for being fed up with his emotional abuse and wanting to move on and start over. Please, think of yourself for once, and do what you feel is right.

Sounds like you are Molly the live in maid

the only track approximately this unique difficulty could be "lodge California" by ability of The Eagles. nonetheless a large album--I surely have an previous vinyl reproduction that I have been given for my 14th birthday in (choke) 1977.

Well, don't stay with them if you're unhappy. I mean, you might stay unhappy your whole life (If you are). So i think that you might just try to move on if you think that you are just used, and especially if you don't love him anymore. But that's just might thoughts.