Waiting for marriage...?

I don't believe in waiting for marriage but I respect those who do - so long as they can be respectful about my choices. I think waiting for marriage can be a wonderful thing, but it isn't necessary. I don't believe in a God that would send me to hell for having premarital sex with my now husband or any of the boyfriends that I slept with in the past.

Having said that, I think it's important to wait to have sex in the beginning of any relationship that you want to or think has the potential to get serious. Once you have sex, the dynamics of the relationship changes. Often in new relationships, this means that the focus goes from getting to know the other person to getting to know their parts. They'll have a lot of sex at first, feel head over heels for a bit and then the novelty of it disappears. When you take the time to get to know someone before having sex, you build a foundation and a common bond that keeps you together and in love when some of the novelty of the relationship and the sex wears off.

It wasn't something I required but if others want to wait for marriage, I say, fine by me.

I don't like the sentiment that I'm not moral just because I chose a different path than someone who didn't have sex before marriage. That is judgmental.

There is no way I would marry someone without knowing we are sexually compatible.

To be honest, I don't feel it's as much about waiting for marriage as it's about waiting for a committed relationship. There should be a shared trust, and understanding about the relationship. In short, the person you're sleeping with should still be beside you the next morning and should be ready to face possible consequences of the sexual relationship.

Okay, I did for my first marriage. He wasn't a virgin though. That bothered me a little. Then we divorced after 10 years. I got married again. We didn't have much sex before marriage. Almost abstinent. We didn't connect in the bedroom or out of the bedroom either.

I feel it is important to know what each other is like before you get married. Many people like to say that sex isn't important but it is. Even the Bible acknowledges this when it states to give to one another and often to prevent infidelity. So, it is important to be compatible in AND out of the bedroom.

Marriage is for the long haul and even though you love your partner, bad sex is torture. Are you willing to take that risk by not knowing ahead of time?