How to tell "friend" to stop asking for rides?

I'm with CJ on this, that if you're allowing her to continue getting into your car, she controls you.

If she's asking you to give her stuff and you don't provide it, she'll give up; my guess is that you're providing her with stuff enough of the time to get her thinking you're an easy mark.

What struck me as truly odd is that inspite of your claims to not wanting her in your car, she still seems to get rides from you, right? ARE you providing a ride to her-- or is she simply being annoying by constantly asking? I'm rather confused as to which one it is.

If you're actually caving in to her requests/demands, then it's kind of your own fault, right? I mean, were someone to ask me and I say no, they'd certainly NOT be getting into the car!! Last time I checked, cars have locks on them--if you get into the driver's side and keep the rest of the doors locked, how is she supposed to get into the car? ???

Something tells me that there's more to this than you're conveying; sorry. It seems obvious to me that she's under the impression that all is okay between you two-, which makes me wonder about how often you're sending mixed signals? That she deems it okay to make sure she's around when you mom picks you up leads me to believe no one has spoken up clearly enough to get the message across to her that she can't count on you, or your mom, as her personal taxi.

While we can't control what another person thinks, says or does, we can manager our own words and actions to get a message across.

If you're giving her rides and don't want to feel obligated to continue, keep the doors locked, and if she tags along, tell her outright that she's not welcome; if she somehow jumps in, don't start the car till she exits. If she's so pushy as to try and overpower you mentally/emotionally, she's going to need a dose of reality by you being blunt about it. It might take some tough measures on your part to get the message across, but some folks are like that.

If she's not getting rides, and it's just a matter of pestering you, when she asks next time, don't answer; if she keeps asking and saying-- why aren't you answering me, tell her you have already and aren't about to waste your breath saying it again. You might have to be blunt (and she might consider it rude, that's her problem, not yours) with her, even resorting to asking her if she's got a mental disability-- she'll no doubt ask what makes you ask such a question--to which you reply-, well, it seems no matter how often I tell you point blank I neither am allowed to have friends in the car, nor do I want to even if I could, you're not getting the message, so I'm thinking you've got a hearing problem and/or a mental problem as you're not getting my message. If you put it that way, I'd be amazed if she continued!

All the best-- remember, there are some occasions in life where we have to cross the being polite line and be blunt as some folks don't hear anything else!

You have to be really firm with someone this persistent! As far as money or food goes, just say you have no money or say that you're short at the moment and were just about to ask her the same thing. Plead poverty. With food, just say sorry, but no. What you have, you need for yourself. Suggest a cheap store where she could get a bargain or two.

With the car thing, try saying that you have promised your parents that you won't, and you never break promises. Sorry, but you just won't. And if she wants your mum to driver her somewhere, tell her that your mum has plans on the way home and again, sorry, but No.

If she persists, take her to one side and say, as kindly as possible, but firmly, that this has got to stop. Tell her she's getting really pushy and it's becoming annoying. Ask her to make other arrangements because you feel like she's taking advantage of you.

It's no good hinting with people like this.

You have to tell her straight. Don't be mean about it, or shout.

Just say no and mean it.

And stick to your guns - no feeling sorry for her and giving in.

You have to be strong or she'll get worse and you'll never get rid of her.

Good luck!

You have to stand your ground with the "no's" - let her keep asking, you can keep saying no. Every day. After you have been firm with her a few times by not allowing her to bulldoze you into doing what she wants, then she will find some one else to mooch food, money, and rides from. Be firm in your response as it is highly inappropriate for her to ask to drive your car. There are pushy people in life and with them you have to stand your ground.

sorry but you can't get someone to stop or do something just because you want them too.

No matter how much you try.

but you can change your response.

if she ask say NO i'm sorry. i can't.

In your case I would just out right say not unless you learn how to ask in a polite manner.

and your mom is your mom as a hopefully soon to be a mom one day I would always give a child a ride home even if that child annoyed my child.

Why..

the girl who use to pick on me in school. before I had a car was walking. My mom picked her up every morning. she was nice to me when mom was around soon as i get into school the picking would start. so i get ya. but for a 20 minute ride in a car with someone isn't really that big a deal.!

Wait until you get a boss who is annoying.. and your food, home, and santiy are all laying/depending on this boss who is annoying.

might as well learn to deal with it now so you won't struggle in the work place

The fact that you even respond to her is your own fault. leave before she gets to you and your car or do not drive to where she is. It takes two to tango. You're giving her openings to get the rides and has obviously a stronger personality to beat you out every time. If you're not there, she can't be either.

Well you can either tell it to her indirectly (oh I'm not going straight home today so I can't give you a ride - I have a doctor's appointment after school - if you want a ride you'll have to start paying me)

or

Directly (No I don't want to bring you home, I think you need to start asking someone else. I feel you are taking advantage of me and i don't like it.)

But remember that it takes two to tangle. If YOU allow HER to push you into something you don't want to do then she controls you.

Tell her to her face to stop asking, or, scare her by putting out your hand and saying yeah OK, but first you have to help out with fuel money before I let you in the car. That should frighten her off!

suzyque

I would simply say: your transportation is not my responsibility

I am a middle aged adult with no car. I am capable of taking the bus

Giving her a ride cost you gas, time, and wear and tear on your car, and puts miles on your car

keep telling her no and if she does not stop, tell your mom to tell her no one is allowed to drive the car and you are not allowed to give anyone a ride

Say no, and if she persists shout at her, and if she persists even more, drive away before she gets in the car

or ignore her

or run her over (Y) - jokeeeee