My husband denies having an emotional affair with his ex girlfriend, am I crazy?

I think your behavior, while justified to a degree, threatens any hope of a reconciliation between you and your husband because there is nothing that he can ever do to restore the bond between you two because you will always be suspicious now. Whether you accept it or not, you are literally pushing him into this woman's arms. After all, why endure the drama of constantly being accused, invasion of privacy, and unfulfillment in a marriage where your spouse's only rationale for staying married is because she doesn't want a messy divorce and possibly hurt the children? Wow, doesn't that make a man want to stay home? I suggest you sit down and just have an open-hearted discussion about the future of your marriage with your husband and see if it's something you both still want and are willing to fight for. If not, you two can work out an arrangement where you guys could separate slowly and in a manner more accepting to the children than behind an affair. Trust me, your kids are smarter and more mature than you give them credit for and would probably be a little disappointed, but would handle the separation/divorce better than you think. You don't have to be confused, just sit down and talk with your husband and you two work it out without any outside interference.

I can only imagine how you are feeling right now....Is she still married?

I find it very odd that he feels that it is ok with him to be taking this money from her....

Do you think he is seeing her? Besides talking with her all the time?

How can you trust a man that will not give up this relationship?

It is going to be extremely difficult until and unless he cuts all ties with her.

Are the children aware of what has been going on. I truly hope not.

If I were you, I would want to know his intentions....why he is accepting the money, why he maintains the contact with her, and if and when is this all going to stop.

You sound like you are taking the right steps by confronting him firstly, telling him the trust is gone, and giving him the ultimatum of leaving if this does not stop.

Saying he loves you is not enough....Actions speak louder than words in this case.

Tell him NO more contact or money from her and make him cut up the card in front of you.

He may be just using her to supplement your income, but she may not see it that way.

What are her intentions here? Does her husband know? I highly doubt that. I am sure he wouldn't be happy about what she is doing either.

Be strong and stand your ground girlfriend....It's either your way or the highway in this case.

Tell him you are done with his shenanigans and let the chips fall where they may.

You will know his true intentions in time....give him a time frame that you want this done and over by, and tell him if it isn't, you are going to go and confront the husband....that ought to make him take notice....

Good luck hon....you are doing the right thing....make him tell you his true intentions post haste....

Ask him how he would feel if an ex boyfriend wanted to call you all the time! Have a male friend from work do the same and later tell him that what is good for the gander is good for the goose! We have exes from the past and we do not disrespect their relationships! I do not know a single ex that I would go calling, unless we all agree as friends. But I never hang out with an ex nor call behind their wife or girlfriend's back! I have plenty of girlfriends and I come here when I want to have advice.

Facebook has been the catalyst for many great renewed friendships and unfortunately, many situations just like yours. Undoubtedly, having been long out of the realm of that exciting new relationship feeling, this is pretty enticing to your husband. This would have happened whether it was an old girlfriend or someone new he had met at random. Your husband seems to have gotten a sample of being newly adored and does not want to let go of that feeling. But, he cannot have it both ways. You need to set up counseling. Why? Because you are not going to be comfortable with him off a leash and should not be the one to tell him he needs to be on one. That is for the counselor to instruct and guide. Whether he ends things with her or not, is not the issue. Whether he means it is the issue.

You have to realise that this is now about you and what you want, not what he has done. He has been trying his best for twelve months - this is no longer about him trying his best - this is about you giving him a bit of a break. By the sound of it the ex -g/f is well and truly out of the picture now, he has been remorseful, and he has done what he can to make it up to you but no-one can live with being reminded of their mistake or indescretion daily or being interrogated daily. You don't have to forget, but you do have to move on. And it sounds like YOU are not moving on. You have to focus on what he has achieved in the last twelve months. Has he given you any reason to doubt him or question what he has been doing? You say that you ask him all the time - has he done ANYTHING since the affair to break your trust? Examine your feelings. Why can you not trust him after twelve months of good behaviour? Distrust after such an event is normal. What is it that makes you continue to distrust him? Ultimately you will loose him if you don't start to bite your tongue and avoid asking him all the time. Being vigilant is fine. But keep this up and you will loose him.

I don;t think its an emotional affair!

I think he has got caught up in feeling a special way, recieving new attention. I think we would all feel that way if we allowed ourselves to be in that position. BUT........... its not worth 20 invested years down the drain.

As far as the money. I have no idea.

He isnt being totally open with you and thats not fair. I'd get back to the basics. Shut off the internet. Or dont allow FB. and get back into the marriage full force. Take time to reconnect with each other. Maybe take it slow go for walks together and hold hands. Silly right?

But sounds like you need to befriend him again. Trust comes back kjust give it time.

I have had an ex boyfriend call me for the past 16 years, every time his wife finds out he's tried to contact me (several times I've called and told her myself), he promises it will never happen again, but eventually he calls again. You let him get away with it the first time, he's still getting away with it, so he's not going to stop, until he really faces losing you. Tell him to pack his bags and hit the road if he can't give up that friendship, sounds like there is more going on then you even know.

Make sure that he is 100% willing to work on the marriage. He needs to be fully open with you. Which means, all information, what he does in his everyday life, he needs to check with you.

He shouldn't pressure you into forgiving right away, and he needs to have patience.

He should close his facebook account for a good while, and block his ex off his list. He needs to be completely open with you about what happened between them and what has been said.

Have you considered talking to the other woman? She may be willing to tell you if anything had happened between them or how far there emotional affair had went. If she lies, your gut will tell you.

He is a grown man, he should not be trying to relive his youth. Talk to him about what made him do this. Something is going on with him, and in order to prevent it from happening again, you need to find the main source. Does he feel that something is missing in your marriage?

Talk to him, remember communication is key. It is possible to fix your marriage and gain trust again, if he is willing to put the effort and learn from his mistakes.

Marital issues its a case that is very sensitive and it needs lot of patience and counselling. I will advice you to try and be calm as much as possible and take things easy though its not easy to take things easy right now. Don't be quick to decide on quiting the marriage cos it's not really a good thing to do in this type of situation.

Also try to go and see a marriage Councillor together on a frequent basis in attempt to save the marriage cos the marriage still has a lot to offer.

I wish you and your husband the very best of luck. You can Also go to the link below, you will find a lot of ways and things to do to save your marriage. Wish you the best of luck.

Counseling is the only way I would even consider giving the idiot a chance. Sorry, but I'm not impressed with men lately. He's repeatedly lied to you. The ex-girlfriend has NO business whatsoever in your lives at all. This is how affairs start. You've given him plenty of chances if you ask me. I'd leave him. BUT, if you're convinced you can't get divorced, then you guys need counselling....IMMEDIATELY!