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Found out my friend (might!) have lied...should I confront her?

I'm not really sure what to do here. Ok, here it goes - Last night I found some information about how my best friend had lost her virginity to her ex-boyfriend about 6 months ago. That information in and of itself doesn't bother me in the slightest, but what bothers me is that she never told me about this. I can see how it is something private and it isn't like she ABSOLUTELY has to tell me. But a little less than a month ago we were talking and I asked her if she had had sex with her ex and she told me she hadn't, and that she had been waiting for me to ask her that. I told her that I assumed if she had slept with him she would have told me, and she said that was true - that if she ever did anything like that with anyone she would tell me. Except she didn't. I'm just feeling very confused. I want to ask her about it, but what if she didn't want me to know about it? It wasn't like I was snooping around, trying to find evidence that she had slept with him. I took her word and didn't think twice about it until last night when I was presented with this new information. The new source might be false. True. I actually have been hoping it was false simply to pacify my nerves. I just want some opinions on the situation. I feel like there is this huge, awkward space between us now and I kind of just want to bring it up in the open and tell her that this is what I heard, and if it's true then that's fine and if it isn't true then that's fine too, because I'll accept her no matter what and I want to know about these things so I can support her and help her any way I can (apparently, according to my source, she thought she was pregnant). But how would I go about doing that? Do you think it would be best to just try and ignore it, try and stay out of "her business"?

It's hard - I'm sure she didn't tell me for her own, separate reasons, but I can't help but feel like she doesn't trust me or she doesn't feel like she can be 100% open with me. And she lied to me about it. We don't lie to each other... I just don't know what to do.

2 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Normally people like her probably lie because they are very sensitive about how others might react or might tell her new boyfriend. If you really can't hold in the question anymore, then when you two are alone and in a good place to break the news, then tell her. If I were you, I would just completely forget about the whole thing about sex and what not and just continue life as it was because I wouldn't care if she lost her virginity, unless in was a rape, then that would be something to really worry about. But, at least she doesn't feel depressed about that time, so don't worry about it. :)

  • 1 decade ago

    quit making a mountain out of a molehill

    she said NO - END OF STORY

    be the friend - not the mother

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