Yahoo Answers is shutting down on May 4th, 2021 (Eastern Time) and beginning April 20th, 2021 (Eastern Time) the Yahoo Answers website will be in read-only mode. There will be no changes to other Yahoo properties or services, or your Yahoo account. You can find more information about the Yahoo Answers shutdown and how to download your data on this help page.

My step-dad hates my dad...?

Okay so my dad had a rough part in his life maybe about three years ago. He was an alcoholic, and one time he left me at the house one night alone, and we had no clue where he was. He got help after that, and he's been sober for two years now. But anyways, ever since that day, my step-dad has hated my dad. I know this because I overheard him telling my mom that "I can't stand him, he doesn't even deserve to be a father." Which I find that kind of harsh because my dad is really trying. And the reason my parents divorced was because my mom cheated on my dad with my step-dad, and I feel like he shouldn't be talking as if he's perfect (which he's not, he knew my mom was married at the time). My dad is always nice to him, even though he knows that my step-dad hates him. I asked him about it and he said that he had no reason to be mad at my step-dad. So what should I do? I hate when my step-dad treats my dad this way.

P.S. My dad tried to talk to him one day about the situation (he wanted to say he was sorry), but my step-dad yelled at him and was cussing him out.

Update:

@dbraunofva: My dad started drinking after they divorced, not before.

Update 2:

@dbraunofva: My mom cheated on my dad because she was selfish, and she still is. My mom has even said that she doesn't understand why my step-dad does this.

3 Answers

Relevance
  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Not to excuse your mom cheating with your step-dad, but you probably have been shielded from all the terrible things your dad did when he was drinking. He probably hurt your mother very much, and she shared all this pain with your step-dad. Now, because your step-dad loves your mom, he hates your dad and can't forgive him for hurting her.

    And your dad knows that he hurt your mother, which is why he's not angry back at your step-dad. He knows he deserves to be hated by your step-dad.

    Don't worry. As hard as it sounds, this is the way it should be. Your dad is getting his life together and accepting responsibility for the pain he caused. Just let it alone.

    However, you might let your step-dad know that even though he has good reason to hate your dad, it bothers you to hear him say so and to have him be mean to your dad. Ask him to change his behavior for your sake. He doesn't have to forgive your dad, just try harder to keep his feelings to himself.

    It doesn't mean that he didn't hurt your mother beforehand or that he didn't hurt her afterward.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    im 13 and i had the same thing happen...Unfortunately my step dad died 11/20/10 and i wish that they would have gotten along.... what i would do is tell your mom that she needs to tell that guy to chill the hell out bc i get rly mad when my moms bf talks about my dead stepdad so i kno how you feel

  • Anonymous
    7 years ago

    df34f34f

Still have questions? Get your answers by asking now.