Sex Addiction - My Dilemma?

Sex is not inherently bad. In-fact, many medical professions believe sex is actually quiet healthy. However, obsessive compulsive behavior is bad. Sex addiction is any form of behavioral dependency, that is of a sexual natural. So, compulsive sex or even masturbation, can be considered a form of sex addiction. The behavior associated with searching-for and consuming pornography or sexual partners (prostitutes), can also be seen as a form of sex addiction.

Addiction takes many forms. Addicts either are maintenance users or they binge. There are addicts who work 60-hours a week, without using and then binge on the weekends.

Addiction can either be a chemical dependency or a behavioral dependency. Sex, Masturbation and pornography, while considered a behavioral dependency, are also a biochemical dependency. True, it is human nature to enjoy sex, however, not everyone can properly moderate the desire, or amount of sex they have. Addiction is a disease and it directly effects the moderation control, found in the frontal lobe, of the brain.

The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-IV) is used by both psychologists and psychiatrists for diagnosing disorders, such as substance dependence, which is essentially what addiction is. The DSM-IV offers seven criteria for substance dependence.

The seven criteria for substance dependence are:

(1) Tolerance, as defined by either of the following:

(a) A need for markedly increased amounts of the substance to achieve intoxication or desired effect.

(b) Markedly diminished effect with continued use of the same amount of the substance.

(2) Withdrawal, as manifested by either of the following: (a) The characteristic withdrawal syndrome for the substance (refer to Criteria A or B of the criteria sets for Withdrawal from specific substances). (b) The same (or a closely related) substance is taken to relieve or avoid withdrawal symptoms.

(3) The substance is often taken in larger amounts or over a longer period than was intended.

(4) There is a persistent desire or unsuccessful efforts to cut down or control substance use. (Unmanageable)

(5) A great deal of time is spent in activities necessary to obtain the substance (such as visiting multiple doctors or driving long distances), use the substance (such as chain smoking) or recover from its effects.

(6) Important social, occupational, or recreational activities are given up or reduced because of substance use.

(7) The substance use is continued despite knowledge of having a persistent or recurrent physical or psychological problem that is likely to have been caused or exacerbated by the substance.

Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous has created a 40-Question Self-Diagnosis Questionnaire to help you determine if you have an addiction. You can find it here: http://www.slaafws.org/download/core-files/The_40_...

If you would like to get more information, or begin sex addiction recovery, you can choose from many different sources. SLAA, is the oldest of the sex addiction recovery programs. It is both free and anonymous. Those who lead these programs, are also addicts and can provide you with first-hand relatable experience, strength and hope. Meetings are held face-to-face, on the phone or On-line, in a chatroom.

SLAA - Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous

http://www.slaafws.org/

http://slaaonline.org/

SAA - Sex Addicts Anonymous

http://saa-recovery.org/

SA - Sexaholics Anonymous

http://www.sa.org/

SCA - Sexual Compulsives Anonymous

http://www.sca-recovery.org/

Co-SLAA - Recovery for family of Sex and Love Addicts

http://www.coslaa.org/

Best of luck in life and love. :-)

You need to move on with your own life. She is a grown up and you don't know whether she may accept this behaviour from him or not. It'll just look like sour grapes and she'll ignore you. You could consider having the local health authority warn her if he was reported previously for some reason (STI infections spreading etc.) I think this is a good thing to discuss with someone from an addiction program. Would you tell her if he was an alcoholic? Or would you let her work her own life out with him? Stop digging around. Let him go completely and forge forward with your own plans and life.

You're married and soon going to be a dad. SNAP OUT OF IT! You need to be there for your wife at this time. Do you know how freaking scary it is to be pregnant? Think about it . . . that's a living thing inside of you and eventually it will come out in a painful way. It's going to be a happy time, but your wife is still probably scared to death! I'm not trying to be mean, but seriously? Try to control yourself a little. It's not the hardest thing on earth. I suggest you sit down and talk it all out with your wife. Ask her if she's scared about becoming a mother . . . blah blah blah. Until you're talking and are comfortable again. Then you can either tell her about your problem or forget it and don't let it happen again. If you keep finding it super hard to control yourself from doing this, tell your wife about your problem and visit a therapist because sex addiction is a medical problem.

Go fish!